You Must Ask For Joy, Not Pleasure

difference between joy and pleasure

Happiness comes in many shades – the two main being Joy and Pleasure. They are different. And we do need both. One for being happy now. And one for being happy while looking back over our shoulders.

The path to one is easy, almost effortless – but evaporates quickly. The other takes an effort to meet, but lasts long, and grows fonder over years.

Lustprinzip – The Pleasure

External rewards are the selfish, non-blood cousins of happiness.

As we keep comparing ourselves to the achievements of our peers, and think too much about the opinions of others, we become increasingly anxious and unhappy, or at least plain bored.

Because we are focusing too strongly on external rewards. As fame, fortune, position, clout, acquisitions, connections, Facebook friends. And money.

By now, you will have known that one can’t be happy for long if all they did was accumulate money – because beyond the point where our needs have been met, more money doesn’t give more happiness.

Having more money, and acquiring more “stuff” by its power, does not correlate strongly with satisfaction in our lives, as studies have shown.

External rewards are selfish, non-blood cousins of happiness. Click To Tweet

In modern times, sudden failure of the markets and overnight wipe-out of our acquisitions has made us realize all too often that trusting external rewards to give us lasting happiness is after all too wrong a notion.

And the belief that our rulers – tribes, empires, governments – have secured our futures and fates, doesn’t comfort us for long when we see their policies slipping and interrupting our predictable lives with glaring shows of misrule and misery.

But why do we keep making the same miscalculation over and over – that “things and stuff” will make us content forever?

Because it comes easy. It’s the path of least effort — to Lustprinzip, the Pleasure Principle. In trying to give our lives a meaning – a reason for survival, we choose the mode of easy and instant gratification as a payoff for our daily grinds.

In its simplest form, it’s you slumping on your couch for watching TV after a long, hard day. That’s you taking the path of the least resistance, and perhaps the most dissonance. Which is not meaning, but pleasure masquerading as meaning.

Freude – The Joy

Joy is the living soul of happiness.

It is a sense of deep satisfaction, that one can understand universally.

Joy involves us going beyond the plain limits of ourselves, using our skills and concentration. Even though, by default, we keep preferring pleasure over joy.

True joy is a feeling people have experienced across different geographies and cultures as a much more satisfying experience.

We get a sense of joy when we shift our attention to internal rewards. An internal reward is a sense of accomplishment from within. It is experiencing the satisfaction that comes from our own actions.

Taking our minds to such points of internal focus results in a feeling of joy – a feeling that is enriching and lasting.

Joy is the living soul of happiness. We get joy when we turn our attention to internal rewards. Click To Tweet

This is enjoyment, rather than pleasure. And it can come when you enter the state of Flow.

Flow – The Self-Losing

So, we can get to feel joy by entering the Flow state.

Flow is a state of mind when we are so intricately immersed in an activity that we not only lose the sense of time, but also the sense of ourselves.

Even before the term “Flow” got introduced to the world by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, people knew it. We have been using various terms across cultures to describe what we feel in such times – when we are ‘in flow’.

When he introduced it in 1975, Csikszentmihalyi defined Flow as “the holistic experience that people feel when they act with total involvement.” His groundbreaking research revealed how can we control Flow, not just leaving it to chance.

Other phrases describing Flow: being in the zone, optimal experience, absolute absorption, complete immersion, aesthetic rapture, full involvement, extreme attention, lost in the activity.

Flow is a state when we're so immersed in an act that we lose not only sense of time, but also sense of ourselves. Click To Tweet

Csikszentmihalyi speaks of traditional Melanesian sailors who, when floating in the sea, can surprisingly enter ‘the zone’. They “can be taken blindfolded to any point in the ocean within a radius of several hundred miles, and then, if allowed to float for a few minutes in the sea, are able to recognize the spot by the feel of the currents on their bodies.”

French Polynesia - difference between joy and pleasure

Such immersion and total concentration is so powerful it can release us from our self-consciousness, worries and anxieties, and allow us to lose track of time.

When a survey asked 6,469 Germans, “Do you ever get involved in something so deeply that nothing else seems to matter and you lose track of time?”, the answers were:

  • Often – 23%;
  • Sometimes – 40%;
  • Rarely – 25%;
  • Never or Don’t Know – 12%.

Surveys on other populations revealed that these percentages are quite stable and universal.

David Farmer, after attending a public lecture presented by Csikszentmihalyi in Sydney in March 1999, wrote an oft-quoted article on flow from the perspective of someone who was first presented with the concept by its Father himself.

How does it feel being in “Flow”?

  1. Completely involved, focused, concentrating.
  2. Sense of ecstasy – of being outside everyday reality.
  3. Great inner clarity – knowing what needs to be done.
  4. Knowing the activity is doable – that the skills are adequate; neither anxious nor bored.
  5. Sense of serenity – no worries about self, feeling of growing beyond the boundaries of ego; afterwards, feeling of transcending ego in ways not thought possible.
  6. Timelessness – thoroughly focused on present, don’t notice the time passing.
  7. Intrinsic motivation – whatever produces “flow” becomes its own reward.

 In Flow At Work

Many people have reported that they get in a flow-like state more often when they are working and not when doing something else.

It may be explained by the fact that work is something that provides us with a challenge, makes us focus our attention, and takes our minds off our anxieties.

Working in Flow

However, if you are not able to find periods of flow in your work naturally, you can try to set new goals of intrinsic rewards. Intrinsic rewards are not ones as the motivation provided by cash incentive or more power; rather such ones as setting higher standards of performance or finding more details about the job.

For getting into flow states at work, a few things to do could be:

  1. Challenging yourself to learn the last possible detail about your job.
  2. Accepting or even seeking out opportunities for newer or tougher tasks.
  3. Setting targets to finish your work better and faster than ever before.

And as your work-hours start to “fly” instead of being hammered out by the clock hands, you could see other positive fallout – as less procrastination, more popularity, and higher chances of promotion.

So, seek out new challenges at work, rather than just showing up and shuffling out by the clock.

Learn the inner workings of the most magical state of joy, the flow, here: How To Find Flow At Work.

Seek out new challenges in work, rather than just showing up and shuffling out by the clock. Click To Tweet

Final Words

  • Live a life of purpose – one that’s meaningful to you, avoid being influenced by external rewards.
  • Get your mind off the giant wheels of overthinking and anxiety, start to focus your attention on the present moment, being mindful of your present environment.
  • Go into flow frequently, do more of what captivates you.
  • “Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.” – Steve Jobs.

So, turn off the TV and get off the online social grid. Instead, engage with your friends, read up a book, write something, or challenge yourself to an activity which can get you “in the zone.”

Those who repeatedly invite flow experiences into their lives tend to be happier.

Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. - Steve Jobs. Click To Tweet

And, by the way, don’t try to find flow all the time.

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