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Today's Friday • 9 mins read

When someone else has what we want, we feel envy. However, envy is not a single emotion.

Envy may include at least seven key emotions:

Resentment: When you perceive that someone else has something you desire but also feel they do not deserve it, it could lead you to feel bitter or resentful.
Jealousy: When you feel threatened by the possibility of losing something you have and value, such as a relationship or status, to someone else.
Inadequacy: When you compare yourself unfavorably to others, resulting in feelings of inferiority and self-doubt.
Frustration: When you feel situations in your life block you from achieving your goals or desires, especially when you see other people in your domain succeed.
Longing: When you experience a deep desire for what someone else possesses, creating a sense of yearning for their qualities or achievements.
Admiration: When you recognize the positive qualities or successes of another while simultaneously feeling envious of their accomplishments.
Anger: When you feel anger at yourself for not achieving certain goals, or at the person who seems to have what you desire.

How Envious You Are: Take This Quiz

Benign and Malicious Envy Scale

Courtesy: Based on the Benign and Malicious Envy Scale (BMES), generally attributed to van de Ven et al. (2009) or Lange & Crusius (2015). Specific items adapted from the provided image.

Please indicate how much you agree or disagree with each statement based on how it generally describes you.

Response Options:

1 – STRONGLY DISAGREE
2 – DISAGREE
3 – NEITHER DISAGREE NOR AGREE
4 – AGREE
5 – STRONGLY AGREE

1. When I envy others, I focus on how I can become equally successful in the future.

2. I wish that superior people lose their advantage.

3. If I notice that another person is better than me, I try to improve myself.

4. Envying others motivates me to accomplish my goals.

5. If other people have something that I want for myself, I wish to take it away from them.

6. I feel ill will toward people I envy.

7. I strive to reach other people’s superior achievements.

8. Envious feelings cause me to dislike the other person.

9. If someone has superior qualities, achievements, or possessions, I try to attain them for myself.

10. Seeing other people’s achievements makes me resent them.

Your Scores:

Total Envy Score: /50

Benign Envy Score: /25

Malicious Envy Score: /25

Interpretation:

Benign Envy: Higher scores suggest that when you experience envy, it tends to motivate you towards self-improvement and positive striving.
Malicious Envy: Higher scores suggest that when you experience envy, it tends to be associated with ill will, resentment, or a desire for others to lose their advantages.
Understanding your balance between benign and malicious envy can provide insight into how you react to others’ successes.

2 Types of Envy

Research indicates that envy can be of two distinct types: benign and malicious.

1. Benign Envy: The Motivator

Benign envy happens when you see someone’s success and feel respect and admiration for them, and then get motivated to improve yourself.

Your colleague gets promoted. You feel envious. But instead of bitterness, you feel inspired to work harder. You want to earn that promotion too.

This type of envy pushes you forward. It makes you work harder, find out more about your field, and try new things. You see what someone else has and think, “I want that too. I can get there.”

2. Malicious Envy: The Destroyer

Malicious envy is darker. You see someone’s success and want to tear it down.

It is a deep feeling of hostility and resentment that one gets from perceiving the success of a superior person as undeserved.

Same colleague gets promoted. You feel envious. But this time, you secretly hope their project fails. You want their success to disappear.

This type of envy holds you back. It makes you focus on bringing others down instead of building yourself up. You spend energy wishing for their failure instead of working toward your own success.

Why This Matters

Both types start the same way. You compare yourself to someone who seems better off.

But they lead to entirely different outcomes. Benign envy motivates you. Malicious envy destroys your mindset.

Your friend buys a new car. Benign envy makes you save money for your own car. Malicious envy makes you hope that theirs breaks down.

Someone posts vacation photos. Benign envy makes you plan your own trip. Malicious envy makes you scroll through their photos looking for flaws.

There’s a nuance, as found in this study (de Ven, 2011): You can be motivated by benign envy only if you think you can improve yourself.

If you believe self-improvement is attainable, it can lead you to better performance.
If you think improvement is too hard, you’ll feel no motivation to do better (but will get admiration).

How To Channel Your Envy

What matters is what you do with envy. The person you envy most likely has worked for what they have. If you can put in the work, you can get it too.

So, whenever you feel envious of someone, ask yourself, “What do I want to do about this?”

If you want to improve yourself, you’re good. Let your benign envy motivate you. Studies on envy give us a helpful self-affirmation to deal with it:

“When I envy others, I focus on how I can become equally successful in the future.”

Stop yourself if your envy makes you want to see them fail; that’s malicious envy. Redirect that energy toward your own goals.

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√ Also Read: Quiz: How Lonely Are You? A Quick Check!

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