Ghoster’s Love – Can A Person Ghost You And Still Love You?

Reading time: 9 minutes

Ghosting means suddenly ending all communication with someone without giving any reason. It can happen in any type of relationship, though more common in romantic ones.

• The thing is, ghosting is quite common in the modern dating scene. All genders do it.
• Even stranger, many Gen Z and Gen Alpha think ghosting is okay. Why waste time explaining?

Ghosting is a traumatic and demeaning way to end a relationship, from a psychological and emotional perspective. Pain in the ghosted person’s brain is real.

• Ghosted people often hang in a state of confusion, wondering whether they are coming back or not.
• The lack of explanation (called need for closure) makes it difficult to move on to other relationships.

Let’s explore this phenomenon of post-ghosting love.

Can a person ghost you and still love you?

Yes, a person can love you after ghosting you, as their ghosting may be because of a specific behavior of you, not your whole identity that they fell in love with.

• They may have ghosted you for any reason, like a fear of being constantly confronted, not being allowed to express their vulnerability, or being forced to prove their loyalty every day.
• Still, they might be in love with things about you that attracted them to you, perhaps the way you look, talk, or think about things.
• Despite all the issues, they may still love you because you are lovable.

The ghoster can keep loving you for some time, and have these emotions:

• Sadness, guilt, and regret.
• Overwhelmingness and fear.
• Confusion about reaching out to explain.

Why is post-ghosting love futile?

1. Even if they realize they caused you emotional pain by not giving you the closure needed in a relationship, the ghoster may not face you or talk to you again.
2. Their lack of communication with you may be because their feelings of love could be mixed with fear, commitment issues, or personal turmoil.
3. You do not need to explain away their disrespectful behavior with the comforting thought that they miss you and still love you. Even if they love you, they do not see the relationship’s future as you want it.

5 facts about post-ghosting love

1. A ghoster may have feelings of love after ghosting you. However, silent love is not enough to sustain a relationship. If they have closed all communication, then they are probably unwilling to put in the work to make the relationship work.
2. Ghosting is an unkind and indirect method of ending a relationship. It is an act of indifference and disrespect. Someone who truly loves you will rather gather the courage to express their feelings honestly, instead of suddenly disappearing without explaining.
3. Being ghosted does not reflect your worth or character. It is not your fault that you were ghosted, so do not blame yourself. Ghosting indicates the ghoster cannot handle relationships maturely and is not ready for a relationship.
4. Post-ghosting, allow yourself time to heal the hurt emotions. Start by acknowledging and feeling the difficult feelings instead of avoiding them. Share your experience and struggles with a trusted person.
5. Most importantly, do not give up on the idea of love. Any number of people may ghost you, but it would never mean you deserve to be ghosted. You can love and be loved. You just have to stay open to be found by someone who will love you for who you are.

Why might someone ghost someone they love?

Some reasons why a person may ghost someone they are in love with:

• They are not ready for a more mature relationship.
• They are going through a difficult time in their life.
• They are afraid of hurting the other person’s feelings.
• They may worry that if they tell the other person how they are feeling, it will only make things worse.
• They are afraid of being hurt themselves, as they may have been hurt in the past, and do not want to go through that again.
• They are not sure how to end the relationship and say goodbye, or may not want to deal with the other person’s reaction to the breakup.

How does ghosting impact the ghosted person?

The ghosted victim can feel:

• Emotional Hurt: Feel hurt, rejected, and confused. Wonder what they did wrong or why the other person didn’t want to talk to them anymore.
• Anger: Feel angry, betrayed, and resentful. Feel like they were used or taken advantage of.
• Depression: Feel sad, hopeless, and lonely. Withdraw from friends and family and lose interest in activities they used to enjoy.
• Anxiety: The sudden break of communication without closure often triggers stress and anxiety. They may start to over-worry about what the other person is thinking or feeling, and have a fear of being ghosted again.

How to handle ghosting in a healthy way?

Ghosting is an unhealthy behavior, but you can handle it the healthy way:

Moving On After Ghosting

• Acknowledge your emotions: Allow yourself to feel the emotions that you are experiencing. Bottling up your anger, pain, sadness, or other emotions will only make it harder to move on. The way psychologists suggest: Feel them, then let them go.
• Talk to someone you trust: Talking to a friend, family member, or therapist can help you to process your emotions and make sense of what happened.
• Focus on yourself: Take some time to focus on your own needs and wants. Do things that make you happy and that make you feel good about yourself.
• Give yourself time: It takes time to heal from being ghosted. Be patient with yourself and don’t expect to feel better overnight.

Self-Care and Boundaries

• Do things that bring joy and relaxation. Exercise, hobbies, solo-travel, spending time with loved ones, or anything else that helps you ‌relax and de-stress.
• Set clear personal boundaries. Re-evaluate your emotional needs and write down how much you will allow yourself to tolerate. Say, you might stop checking their social media or responding to their texts.
• Surround yourself with supportive people. Talk to your friends and family about what you’re going through and let them know how they can help.
• Practice self-compassion. Be kind to yourself and remember that you’re not alone. Everyone experiences rejection at some point in their lives.

Communication and Closure

• Consider reaching out. If you’re seeking closure, you may want to try reaching out to the person who ghosted you and expressing your feelings in a non-confrontational manner.
• Be prepared for the possibility of not getting closure. It’s important to acknowledge and accept that closure may not always come from the other party.
• Focus on personal growth. Building confidence and focusing on personal growth are critical coping mechanisms in handling ghosting and moving on successfully.

Healing After Ghosting

• Forgiving yourself and the ghoster: Forgiveness is not about condoning the ghoster’s behavior. It is about letting go of the anger and resentment that you are holding on to. Forgiveness can help you to move on and heal.
• Seeking support: Talking to a friend, family member, or therapist can help you to process your emotions and make sense of what happened.

What to do if someone who ghosted you reaches out again?

People these days often ghost and reconnect repeatedly, glorifying on-and-off relationships. Still, if a ghoster reaches out again, you need to think for some time before giving in.

• First, do not give in to peer pressure when it comes to your well-being.
• Second, please remember that they ghosted you once before, and they may do it again.
• Third, in some probability, they might even be ghosting someone else to pair up with you.

If you decide to give them another chance:

• Keep your expectations low and remain prepared for the possibility that they may indulge in occasional micro-ghostings.
• Set up some healthy boundaries and make it clear that you will not tolerate being ghosted again.
• Be firm that the next time they ghost you, it may be a final breakup.

Their ghosting of you was more about their inability to handle conflict or emotional discomfort than their disappearing feelings for you.

Ultimately, the decision is up to you. There is no right or wrong answer, but make a choice that prioritizes your well-being and happiness.

Ghosting Culture In Different Relationship Contexts

Modern Dating And Dating Apps

• A modern relationship may have a person ghost their romantic interest without any warning, but it does not leave the other person too confused or hurt.
• People in modern relationships do not feel guilty or regretful about ghosting or being ghosted.
• They often do not even try to find out why the ghoster ghosted them.
• It is accepted that those who ghost may be “introverts” trying to avoid confrontation and conflict.
• People “simply” conclude the ghoster does not want to waste time and emotional energy explaining the end of a relationship, rather imagine they have difficulty expressing their feelings.
• The modern ghosted person simply accepts that the ghoster is not interested in pursuing a relationship with them, so the simple solution is to move on without trying to invite a peer-endorsed badge of “stupidity.”

Friendship Ghosting and the “Slow Fade”

Friendships are also vulnerable to ghosting. Though, in friendships, a “slow fade” is more common than outright ghosting.

The “slow fade” involves gradually reducing contact and communication with a friend, slowly “drifting apart” from each other, and eventually ending the friendship.

Reasons for ghosting in friendships can include a change in interests, life circumstances, or a desire to avoid potential conflict.

Attachment Styles

Ghosting can also be linked to the avoidant attachment style, characterized by a fear of intimacy and a tendency to keep people at a distance, may be more inclined to ghost their partner.

They may experience panic or anxiety when faced with strong emotional connections, leading them to cut ties abruptly.

Final Words

Love involves respect and empathy even at the time of the breakup.

While ghosting starkly contrasts the principles of love and, instead, reflects disrespect and callousness.

So, if you have been ghosted by someone you loved deeply, they have insulted your feelings for them, leaving you with the mental pain of uncertainty.

It is better that you stop wondering whether they still love you, and instead focus on your self-care and self-growth. Accept their non-communication as your closure and move on in life.

√ Also Read: 12 Tips For Breaking Up With Partners With Abandonment Issues

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