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We all have a natural need to be with others. But some relationships need to end.You cannot stay in a toxic relationship, afraid that, “But I’ll be alone after breaking up!”
So, breakups happen. And often leave you feeling floundering, sad and lonely.
That post-breakup loneliness can bring up paradoxical urges. At one moment, you may feel like you can never meet anyone again. At another time, you feel like rushing out for a rebound affair or revenge romance.
So, how do you get over these and be back to feeling normal again?
- Tip: After a breakup, avoid being around lonely people. Loneliness is contagious. Studies show non-lonely people who spend time with lonely people are more likely to feel lonely themselves.
How To Deal With Loneliness After A Breakup or Divorce
Dealing with loneliness after a breakup takes time, but there are proven strategies to help ease the sense of isolation. Here are some ways to start:
1. Start little conversations:
Going out to meet people can be tough, so focus on daily encounters, like at the grocery store or coffee shop. Use these moments of interaction with strangers. Like, when they ask for directions, start a small talk instead of a quick answer. Ask questions and share about yourself. These chats can help build unexpected friendships.
2. Share about yourself:
Loneliness often leads people to disclose less about themselves. Getting rid of loneliness is also about letting go of cynicism and mistrust of others. So, the next time you meet someone new, try to lose that protective shield. Allow them in, even though you don’t know what the outcome will be. Share your stories, thoughts, preferences, and opinions, even if they differ from others.
3. Write Letters to Your Future Self
One powerful way to process your feelings and rediscover hope is to write letters to your future self. Use these letters to express what you’re going through, offer yourself words of encouragement, or outline the goals you’d like to accomplish as you heal. Imagine how you’ll feel six months or a year from now, and address your future self with kindness and optimism. This exercise can help you shift focus from the past to a positive future, giving you a sense of purpose and something to look forward to. Over time, revisiting these letters can be a grounding reminder of how far you’ve come in your healing journey.
4. Reconnect with Hobbies and Interests
After a breakup, it’s common to feel like parts of your identity are tied to your past relationship. A great way to rediscover yourself is to dive into hobbies you enjoy or explore new interests. Whether it’s joining a class, taking up a sport, or simply spending time on creative pursuits like writing or painting, engaging in meaningful activities can help you reconnect with yourself. Hobbies bring fulfillment, keep your mind engaged, and can even introduce you to people with shared interests.
5. Spend Time in Nature
Nature has a calming, grounding effect and can ease feelings of loneliness. Studies show that spending time in green spaces can reduce anxiety and lift your mood. Try taking daily walks in a local park, going for a hike, or even practicing mindfulness exercises outdoors. If you’re near a beach or mountains, take advantage of the scenery. Nature can remind you of the world’s vastness and help you feel more at peace with your own journey.
6. Consider Volunteering
Giving back can be a powerful antidote to loneliness. Volunteering not only shifts your focus outward but also surrounds you with people who share a sense of purpose. Helping others can build self-worth and give you a sense of fulfillment that counters loneliness. Whether it’s working with animals, tutoring kids, or helping at a local food bank, volunteering offers a chance to connect while making a positive impact.
7. Rebuild Your Social Circles
Friendships may have taken a backseat during your relationship, so now is a great time to reconnect. Reach out to old friends, check in with family members, or make an effort to engage with colleagues. Rebuilding social connections, even one at a time, can slowly expand your support system. Remember, many people can relate to your experience, so it’s okay to lean on those who care about you.
8. Practice Daily Gratitude
It may sound simple, but practicing gratitude has proven psychological benefits. Take a few moments each day to write down things you’re grateful for—even small things like a warm cup of coffee or a call from a friend. Gratitude helps you focus on the positives in your life, gradually shifting your perspective from what’s missing to what you have. Over time, this practice can help you feel less alone and more connected to the present.
“It seems the number one thing is to change your perceptions of the world around you. It’s realizing that sometimes people aren’t able to meet up with you, not because there is something inherently wrong with you, but because of other things going on in their lives.”
— Olivia Remes, a mental health researcher
What Loneliness Does After A Breakup
This study found 52% of Americans feel lonely, while 47% said their relationships are not meaningful. So, loneliness affects nearly one in two people, despite social media keeping us more connected than ever.
What does this do?
- Emotional loneliness can increase the risk of anxiety and depression.
- Social isolation is linked with heart failure and coronary artery disease.
- The impact of loneliness on mortality is similar to that of smoking 15 cigarettes per day.
After a breakup, loneliness can feed on itself, deepening the sense of isolation.
- Doing things alone can be a constant reminder of the connection you have lost.
- It may stir up self-blame and questions about self-worth, as if the end of a relationship is somehow a personal failure.
However, the loneliness after a breakup doesn’t have to be permanent. You can learn to deal with it, reconnect with yourself and with others, and find balance again.
Can you get over a breakup alone?
Yes, you can.
Being alone could be a good option to allow yourself time to grieve and process your emotions. There is no right or wrong way to do this, so find what works best for you.
It can be hard to figure out how to move forward when a relationship ends. You could learn to use the power of silence after breakups to heal and live a happier life.
Of course, it helps to get in touch with supportive people, your friends, family, or online connections.
There is no shame in seeking help if you are struggling to cope with social loneliness after a breakup.
Talk to a therapist, join a support group, or read self-help books to make a positive difference in your recovery.
√ Also Read: How To Deal With A Breakup All Alone?
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