• Modified: Feb 20, 2025 • Read in: 5 mins
— By Dr. Sandip Roy.ADHD is not a choice.
Kids with ADHD aren’t choosing to be inattentive. Their brains are wired differently from the start.
While things like smoking during pregnancy might increase the risk, the biggest factor is genetics – as 74% of cases are hereditary.
- A 2021 study points out that people with ADHD have divergent patterns in certain brain waves (like the P3B and N200 waves) that are linked to attention and self-control.
- MRI scans show that some areas of the brain (corpus callosum, a bundle of nerves that connects the two halves of the brain, frontal lobe, helps control attention and executive functions, and caudate nucleus, involved in the release of dopamine) might be smaller in people with ADHD.
Think of it like this: Everyone’s brain is a city. But ADHD brains come with a slightly different map and traffic system. Some roads in the ADHD city are narrower, and some traffic lights are a little out of sync, causing delays and traffic jams.
Misunderstanding ADHD In Children
“Children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) do not have a behavioural disorder, nor are they lazy, or lacking in manners and boundaries.” — Teresa Rossignoli Palomeque
Let’s debunk the six common myths of ADHD in children:
1. It’s not an attention deficit.
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is defined as a neurodevelopmental disorder causing impulsivity, hyperactivity, and attention difficulties.
But that last part seems to be a false description, as ADHD’ers can “hyperfocus” (have periods of long-lasting, highly focused attention) when they find something of interest.
- ADHD is an issue of attentional dysfunction, not attention deficit (Doyle 2007).
- Those with ADHD have difficulty focusing their attention on tasks that are not intrinsically rewarding (Kaufmann et al. 2000).
So, they don’t lack the ability to focus, but can’t always control their attention.
2. It’s not laziness.
Children with ADHD aren’t lazy. Their brains are wired differently.
And this affects their ability to regulate attention, impulses, and activity levels. It’s a neurological difference, not a lack of willpower.
Imagine trying to drive a car with a faulty steering and misaligned wheels – you might want to go in a straight line, but it’s much harder.
Kids with ADHD face similar internal challenges. They often struggle with tasks that require sustained effort, not because they’re unwilling, but because their brains process information and prioritize tasks differently.
This can lead to frustration and seem like laziness to others, but the core issue is neurological, not a character flaw.
3. It’s not just about hyperactivity
While hyperactivity is a common symptom, many children with ADHD do not show it.
A form of ADHD, sometimes called ADD, is when affected children struggle with attention control, not hyperactivity. They appear withdrawn, dreamy, or lost in thought.
The core issue here is difficulty regulating attention and focus. They are often found daydreaming in class, with their minds having wandered to more interesting places.
So, we are better off not focusing solely on hyperactivity in children with ADHD, as it leaves many children undiagnosed. Their struggles are less visible but equally serious.
4. It’s not a discipline problem
ADHD is not an intentional lack of discipline.
Children with ADHD struggle to follow rules and instructions because their brains have difficulty with executive functions like planning, prioritizing, and inhibiting impulses. They cannot process their parents’ directions.
Punishments and harsh discipline are often ineffective and can even worsen the situation. Over time, it may lead to feelings of shame and low self-esteem.
Parents should empathize with how their child’s brain works. And give them instructions in ways that they can understand and follow.
Here’s how parenting can play a role:
- Positive parenting strategies, such as warmth, clear communication, consistent discipline, and positive reinforcement, can help children with ADHD manage their symptoms better.
- Negative parenting strategies, such as criticism, rejection, harsh and inconsistent discipline, and over-controlling parenting can worsen ADHD symptoms.
- Children with ADHD may behave in ways that lead their parents to show more negative parenting patterns.
While consistent routines and clear expectations can certainly help all children with ADHD, they are not a cure for ADHD.
5. It’s not something they’ll “grow out of”
ADHD is manageable, not curable.
Some children with ADHD will learn to manage their symptoms more effectively as they mature, while some will struggle well into their late adult years.
ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder that often persists into adulthood. The challenges may shift and change over time, but the underlying neurological differences remain.
Early diagnosis and intervention are currently our best bets to help them. The sooner they develop coping strategies, the better they will be able to thrive despite their challenges.
Dismissing ADHD as something children will simply outgrow can delay necessary support and make things worse for them in the long run.
6. It’s not a one-size-fits-all diagnosis
ADHD presents differently in each child. And not every child can cope with it the same way.
- The severity of symptoms can also vary widely.
- A child with ADHD may have special needs that others do not have.
- Some struggle more with inattention, others with impulsivity, and still others with hyperactivity.
Doctors and therapists may need to individualize the treatment and support plans. What works for one child with ADHD may not work for another.
“ADHD is a neurological difference.”
Final Words
Your child may not cope with ADHD like others with it.
So, focus on how to help your unique child with ADHD to learn strategies to manage his/her challenges, control impulses, and use their strengths.
This means working together – families, schools, and therapists – to create a supportive environment. The real problem isn’t ADHD itself, but a lack of understanding and support from society.
√ Also Read: 30 Tips To Stop Self-Sabotage If You Have ADHD
√ Please share it with someone if you found this helpful.