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— By Dr. Sandip Roy.Amor fati and memento mori are two powerful Stoic concepts.
- Amor Fati, a Latin phrase meaning “love of one’s fate,” advises us to peacefully accept what has been dealt to us, and try again without losing enthusiasm.
- Memento Mori, a Latin phrase meaning “remember that you must die,” reminds us that all of us will die, no matter how much wealth or power we acquire during our time on Earth.
The Stoics consider both concepts to be almost “holy.” To remind themselves that the certainty of death and misfortunes is what makes life worth living.
We can all embrace these to live more fully, make the best of our situations, and find a deeper purpose in our existence.
Let’s look at them in a modern way.
Amor Fati: “Love of Fate”
Amor fati may seem like a call to surrender to our fate, to turn passive and cheerless after a bad turn, but it’s not.
Amor fati is about nonjudgmental acceptance and mindful action. It tells us that complaining will keep us buried in the past, but moving forward can take us to a better future.
In practicing amor fati:
- We accept the situation calmly because complaints won’t change what’s already happened.
- Acceptance reduces our cognitive load, so we can focus on the present situation.
- This allows us to see and plan the way forward with more clarity and insight.
- Our resilient (“comeback”) actions can then influence its future course.
The Stoics ask us to even appreciate the failure or crisis, as it teaches us what not to do. This new wisdom helps us to bounce back stronger (what positive psychologists call resilience).
Amor Fati, Friedrich Nietzsche, And Stoicism
The phrase “Amor fati” came from the German philosopher and cultural critic Friedrich Nietzsche, who used it repeatedly in the 1870s and 1880s.
But the concept was already woven into Stoicism. The Stoics proposed a loving and grateful acceptance of one’s fate. Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius often mentioned it without using the exact phrase “amor fati.”
Stoics believed that while hardships are a necessary part of human existence, accepting them was the only way to grow. Acceptance allows us to move forward with a sense of tranquility in stressful times.
Nietzsche echoed this sentiment. He held struggles and suffering as a precondition for a good life. He said,
“I want to learn more and more to see as beautiful what is necessary in things; then I shall be one of those who make things beautiful. Amor fati: let that be my love henceforth! … I do not want to accuse; I do not even want to accuse those who accuse. Looking away shall be my only negation.”
And more famously:
“My formula for greatness in a human being is amor fati: that one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backward, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it—all idealism is mendacity in the face of what is necessary—but love it.”
Amor Fati helps us see our lives as a series of events that must occur for us to make sense of life, grow, and thrive.
How To Practice Amor Fati
When life takes an unexpected turn:
Repeat mentally, “Amor fati, Amor fati, Amor fati.”
Say, “Thanks, Fate, for letting me handle this hardship.”
A few more ways:
- Focus on accepting, not resisting, when facing challenges.
- Be thankful for both your positive and negative experiences.
- Make a list of lessons you learned from mistakes and hardships.
- Affirm yourself that you will find ways and take action to grow out of this adversity.
- “This too shall pass” is a good reminder that the good times and bad times do not last forever.
Memento Mori: “Remember That You Must Die”
Ancient Philosophy and Memento Mori
Philosophers have always contemplated the purpose of life, the inevitability of death, and the rush to be good and do good.
The Latin phrase “Memento mori” is a humbling reminder that “everyone must die.”
The Stoics uttered “memento mori, memento mori, memento mori…” several times a day to remember that death could come at any time.
- It grounded them in the reality of now and stopped them from wasting time on pointless things.
- It inspired them to focus on what truly matters and to live virtuously while they have the opportunity.
- Read the 21 Unforgettable Stoic Quotes On Death
- Find out How Do The Stoics Deal With Grief & Loss
- Does Amor Fati Mean To Love Your Fate Or Surrender To It?
Stoic Masters On Memento Mori
One of Epictetus‘s quotes on memento mori is:
“Keep death and exile before your eyes each day, along with everything that seems terrible—by doing so, you’ll never have a base thought nor will you have excessive desire.”
Seneca, a Roman philosopher, said we must treat each day as a gift and seize the moment before us. He wrote,
“Every day, therefore, should be regulated as if it were the one that brings up the rear, the one that rounds out and completes our lives.”
Marcus Aurelius, a Roman emperor and philosopher, often meditated on memento mori. He wrote,
“All that is in accord with you is in accord with me, O World! Nothing which occurs at the right time for you comes too soon or too late for me. All that your seasons produce, O Nature, is fruit for me. It is from you that all things come: all things are within you, and all things move toward you.”
— The Inner Citadel: The Meditations of Marcus Aurelius, Pierre Hadot (1998).
How To Practice Memento Mori Without Thinking of Death
You can practice memento mori without thinking of death. Here are some ways:
- Every night, take a moment to reflect on whether you gave the day your best and took one step forward to fulfill your potential.
- Every morning, before you start your day, take a few minutes to decide what good and useful things you will do today, how will you nurture your relationships, and how will you make yourself happier.
- Ask yourself several times throughout the day, “Is it the best use of my time?” If not, then change the activity.
- Remind yourself occasionally that you are embracing changes in your life, and feel enough at the thought that you are trying your best to adapt to a constantly evolving life.
Word of caution: Thoughts of death can cause anxiety and even panic in some people. So, I will advise you to talk to your therapist or doctor before starting the practice of memento mori.
Books To Read
- How to Think Like a Roman Emperor: The Stoic Philosophy of Marcus Aurelius by Donald Robertson
- 365 Ways to Be More Stoic: A Day-by-day Guide to Practical Stoicism by Tim Lebon & Kasey Pierce
- The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday
- Meditations: The Annotated Edition by Marcus Aurelius (Author), Robin Waterfield (Translator)
- How to Be a Stoic: Using Ancient Philosophy to Live a Modern Life by Massimo Pigliucci
- The Practicing Stoic: A Philosophical User’s Manual by Ward Farnsworth
Final Words
Amor fati and Memento mori can help us live a more meaningful life by accepting our fate and remembering our limited time.
They help us remold challenges as opportunities for growth, wisdom, and self-improvement.
- Say “Amor fati” to accept your circumstances and live your life to the fullest.
- Say “Memento mori” to remind yourself that death is constantly happening—it has already claimed the days that you and I have already lived.
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