Are Extrovert Wives More Satisfied In Their Marriages?

Reading time: 6 minutes

Straight up, the answer is Yes. Because, excuse the jaded phrase, the research says so.

We will discuss later in the article what makes introverts and extroverts different.

There is a special category – ambiverts. They are actually introverts who learned extroverted ways to navigate through an extroverted world.

Introverts and extroverts do not live at the extreme ends of the personality scale. There are always some shades of one in the other.

So, while they may appear as raucous extroverts by the world, deep down they be just “quiet” introverts.

Let’s jump back to our primary question:

Do Extroverted Women Have More Satisfying Marriages?

This is a research coming out of Iran. Four psychologists from two universities came together to publish their findings in May 2016.

They gathered 92 married working women from the Shiraz Welfare Organization. The participants had no history of divorce or separation, and were aged between 25 and 45 years.

To remove any bias, the researchers chose them at random.

The Research

The psychologists Somayeh Tahmasebi, Baratali Maleki, Masumeh Rezayi Aval, Fereshte Tahmasebi gave them a long test, with 4 sets of questions.

1. The first, Demographic set, asked them about their age, salary, education, years of marriage, and number of children.
2. The second set was the ENRICH (Evaluating & Nurturing Relationship Issues, Communication, Happiness) inventory. This is an exhaustive set of 125 questions on 14 different scales – as marital satisfaction, financial issues, personality, sexual relationships, friends and relatives, conflict solving, and others. The ENRICH can differentiate between the happy married couples and the unhappy ones with an accuracy of 85-95%.
3. The third set was Eysenck Personality Questionnaire (EPQ) with 57 questions. The EPQ measures the extroversion/introversion and neuroticism/stability aspects of personality. It also has a lie-detector scale. What is neuroticism? It is emotionality, or emotional instability. Neurotic people are quick to get nervous or upset under pressure. They are also less happy in their relationships.
4. The fourth set was the Ahvaz Perfectionism Scale, of 27 questions. They included this because perfectionism is one of the factors that contributes to marriage satisfaction (this study).

The Results

They found “there is a significant positive relationship between extrovert personality and marital satisfaction of women employees.”

You may read it as – the more extroverted a working woman, the higher her satisfaction in a marriage. And the less extroverted an employed woman, the lower her chances of marital happiness.

They are not the only ones to reach this conclusion. Another study coming out of Iran concluded that the extrovert personality trait can predict marital satisfaction (Ata Shakerian, 2011).

Yet another study from Iran, published in The Arab Journal of Psychiatry, emphasizes that “personality traits (extroversion included) are still the most important factor in determining marital adjustment” (Aysun Ghaemian, Javad Gholami, 2010).

What Makes Extroverts Different From Introverts?

The Extrovert

Most of those you know may be extroverts and there is a high probability that you’re one.

Extroverts talk more, they laugh more, they surprise us more often. Extroverts are more friendly, enthusiastic, thrill-seeking, and act-now-think-later (instant gratification) types.

They open up to people more easily, and you often find them talking to you about what’s going on in their minds. You will rarely find them sitting or doing things alone. People are their life-blood. The outer world is their breath-air.

Did you know that extroverts are happier than introverts, and this effect stretches over decades?

The Introvert

And the introverts, you know them too. That wallflower friend of yours, yes. That kid in your class who’s always lost in thoughts, yes. That guy who enters the party late and slips out early unnoticed, yes. Often described as a private person, yes.

You see them poring over their mobile screens with way too much fascination. Up close, you find that they’re usually not chatting with their online friends. Rather, they are reading something or playing a brain game. They just don’t make the small talk. In fact, what irritates them to no end is meaningless conversations.

How Do Extroverts & Introverts Differ

It’s the wiring in their brains. In 1997, the British psychologist Hans Eysenck said the main reason for the differences between introverts and extroverts is in how their brains get aroused.

Introvert brains get aroused without much effort. By nature, they process more information per second.

Now, one’s brain can process only finite chunks of information over a certain time. So, when there is too much noise to process, the introverts become overwhelmed.

Once that happens, they tend to shut out the outside world and seek out time alone – to focus inwards.

The extroverts, however, don’t spark up fast. They have to reach out for stimulating environments to arouse themselves.

They thrive in situations where there is a lot of stimuli – voices, music, chatter. It makes them feel home.

Because their brains process less amounts of external data per second. So they need loads of stimuli from their surroundings – to feel alive.

The Lemon Juice Experiment

A famous lemon juice experiment in 1964 showed that an introvert salivates more than an extrovert when their tongue gets a few drops of lemon juice. Psychologists concluded introverts get more aroused with the same load of stimuli than extroverts. Find out more on how the brains of introverts differ from those of extroverts.

Final Words

Adjustment in marriage is actually an exercise of extroversion that is played out by the two partners. If two people in a marriage do not talk or share their interests with each other, how much happiness can there be in that bond?

And when conflicts happen, as it will, do you think it would help if they were to sulk and stay silent out of their extrovert nature? In a way, extroversion is what keeps the couple going well. Just think of that.

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This article was originally published on Lifehack Published on August 21, 2016. Here’s the Web Archive link to the article. Reproducing it here since Lifehack removed, probably because they decided to delete dated articles from their site.

• • •

• 7 Reasons Why Extroverts Are Happier Than Introverts
• 4 Ways Happiness Hurts (Negative Effects of Happiness)
• How To Be Happy: 25 Science-Backed Tips For A Happy Day

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