Today's Sunday • 8 mins read
Most people think negotiation comes down to who talks faster or louder, or sounds more confident. The research tells a different story.
Skilled negotiators use specific, tested strategies that shift the balance in their favor. These aren’t tricks or manipulation tactics, but facts.
They use science-based approaches, grounded in psychology, behavioral economics, and evidence from thousands of real-world negotiations.
Learn these techniques to get better deals in business and life.
How To Successfully Negotiate With Anyone: 10 Expert Tips
These negotiation techniques are backed by Harvard studies, former FBI agents, and Nobel Prize winners.
1. Ask Open-Ended Questions to Gather More Useful Information
Negotiators who ask open-ended questions consistently achieve better outcomes than those who rely on yes-or-no questions.
Harvard Law School’s Program on Negotiation shows that questions that begin with “who”, “whose”, “what”, “when”, “which”, “why”, and “how” encourage detailed responses.
Open questions make the other person feel less threatened. They feel psychologically safe and drop their defenses.
They are more likely to trust you because you gave them the choice of how much information to share.
When you ask “What are your thoughts on this pricing?” instead of “Do you agree with this price?” you create space for the other person to reveal information you wouldn’t otherwise access.
Open questions allow the other person to reveal their true interests and priorities, as well as some of their weaknesses and disadvantages.
2. Prepare Thoroughly Before You Meet Your Rival
Without a doubt, the biggest mistake that negotiators make, and one that many make routinely, is failing to thoroughly prepare.
People who set clear goals and research their counterparts’ interests before negotiations consistently achieve more favorable deals.
The best negotiators don’t walk into meetings hoping to improvise. They assess their strengths and weaknesses, and anticipate what matters most to the other side.
Some questions from the Negotiation Preparation Checklist to have answers to:
- What do you want from this negotiation?
- What are your strengths, values, skills, and assets?
- What is your BATNA (Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement)? That is, what option would you choose if you’re not satisfied with the deal or if you reach a dead-end?
- What is your Reservation Point, that is, your indifference point between a deal and no deal?
- Is there a ZOPA (Zone of Possible Agreement) between your reservation point and the other side’s? If there clearly is no room for bargaining, then there’s no reason to negotiate.
Preparation, not charisma or quick thinking, separates average negotiators from highly effective ones.
3. Sharpen Your Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Skills
Negotiators with high emotional intelligence, particularly those who can read and respond to others’ emotions, achieve superior results.
When you understand how your counterpart feels, you can address their concerns more effectively and identify creative solutions that satisfy both parties.
Empathy is one soft skill that gives you a strategic advantage in negotiations.
Empathy involves effectively understanding your counterpart’s perspective and expressing their viewpoint in a nonjudgmental manner.
Empathy allows us to avoid jumping to false conclusions about our counterparts’ interests and motivations.
Empathy builds the trust necessary for collaborative problem-solving, turning potentially adversarial interactions into productive conversations.
4. Make The First Offer to Anchor The Negotiation
The anchoring effect is real and powerful. The first number on the table pulls the final agreement toward that initial figure.
If you name a price first, you establish the reference point around which the entire negotiation revolves.
This doesn’t mean throwing out an absurd number. The key is making a well-researched first offer that favors your position while remaining defensible.
Once that anchor is set, it becomes psychologically difficult for either party to move too far from it.
5. Use Confident Body Language
Former FBI agent Joe Navarro, who wrote What Every BODY Is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Speed-Reading People, says body language conveys more honest information than words.
Confident posture, steady eye contact, and open gestures positively influence how others perceive you at the negotiation table.
Some of the most reliable body language cues come from the parts of the body that are not the face, like hands and feet. Because people have less conscious control over them than facial expressions.
A wriggling foot, unsettled hands, or a fidgety sitting position could be all signs of underlying anxiety.
Your feet pointing away from your rival could indicate you are likely uncomfortable or wanting to leave, even if your words say otherwise.
6. Frame Choices Around Losses to Increase Persuasion
Nobel Prize winners Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky’s Prospect Theory fundamentally changed how we understand decision-making.
Their research shows that people feel about losses nearly twice as intensely as equivalent gains.
We are more afraid of losing what we have than we are of gaining something we don’t yet own.
Framing your proposal in terms of what the other party stands to lose if they don’t agree makes your offer more compelling than pointing out what they’ll gain.
“This is what you stand to lose if I walk away” is more persuasive than “This is what you would gain.”
When you point out the costs of inaction or the risks of passing on an opportunity, you tap into a powerful psychological force that drives people toward agreement.
The fear of loss motivates action more effectively than the promise of gain.
7. Listen Actively to Reduce Resistance
Negotiators who actively listen and summarize their counterpart’s perspective build more agreement and face less resistance.
When you demonstrate that you understand someone’s position by restating it in your own words, you validate their concerns and make them more receptive to your proposals.
This technique, called “mirroring” or “reflective listening,” creates psychological comfort. People naturally trust those who seem similar to them, and reflecting their words back signals that you’re on the same wavelength.
In Interviewing: Principles and Practices, Charles Stewart and William Cash talk of many “probes,” some of which can be usefully applied to negotiation.
A nudging probe can be “I see,” “Tell me more,” or “What happened after that?” Such prompts exert subtle social pressure on people who are resisting questions to respond more thoroughly.
8. Use Silence to Create Psychological Pressure
In his book “Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It,” former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss emphasizes that silence can be as persuasive as any argument.
When you make a proposal and then simply wait without filling the silence, you create pressure that increases the likelihood of a favorable response.
Silence can be a probe, too. Rather than rushing to fill the silence after your counterpart has spoken, you could simply wait for her to say more. This puts social pressure.
You might silently nod your head and keep your pen ready to write down the valuable information you are expecting her to provide.
Most people feel uncomfortable with pauses in conversation and rush to fill the void. If you can tolerate silence after asking a question or making an offer, the other party often responds by sharing more information or making concessions they hadn’t planned to make.
9. Adapt Your Style to Different Cultural Backgrounds
David Matsumoto’s cross-cultural research demonstrates that cultural factors significantly influence negotiation preferences and behaviors.
Different cultures have distinct approaches to directness, hierarchy, timing, and concessions. What works in one cultural context may backfire in another.
Understanding these differences prevents misunderstandings and helps you adapt your approach.
For example, some cultures value relationship-building before discussing business, while others prefer getting straight to the point. Recognize and respect these variations.
10. Set High Aspirations But Avoid Excessive Aggression
Negotiators who set ambitious goals tend to achieve higher results.
People who aim high and believe they deserve favorable terms generally walk away with better deals than those who approach negotiations timidly.
There’s a crucial caveat: excessive aggression often backfires (what else do we expect?).
While confidence and high aspirations improve outcomes, being unreasonable or combative destroys trust and leads to worse results than moderate approaches.
Keep that balance between being ambitious and achievable.
Final Words
These ten principles work best when combined. A negotiator who prepares thoroughly, asks thoughtful questions, listens actively, and understands both emotional intelligence and cultural context will consistently outperform someone relying on instinct alone.
The best negotiators understand success comes from making the other person feel heard, understood, and respected, while still achieving their own objectives.
The difference between mediocre and excellent negotiators isn’t talent or personality. It’s knowledge and practice.
Every one of these strategies can be learned and applied immediately, whether you’re negotiating a salary, a business contract, or a major purchase.
Start with one or two techniques, practice them until they feel natural, then add more to your repertoire.
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√ Also Read: 6 Tips To Negotiate Your Way To A Healthy Relationship
√ Please share this if you found it helpful.
