How to Stop Self-Sabotage if You Have ADHD?

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“I was diagnosed with ADHD in my mid-20s, and up until that point had no idea I was neurodiverse. Suddenly everything made sense — difficulties at school, being too talkative, struggling with focus and concentration, overthinking and anxiety, so many elements of my life made sense.” — Nadine Dirks

The main regret of almost everyone who gets diagnosed as ADHD is this: I wish I had known sooner, I would have had better tools to deal with the disorder.

My advice: If you think you might have ADHD, the first thing would be to get yourself diagnosed. Don’t be burdened by a mystery illness.

Most people with ADHD have self-sabotaging behaviors, like — negative self-talk, perfectionism, people-pleasing, risk-taking, procrastination and ADHD freeze, making excuses and blaming circumstances, emotional outbursts, overcommitting, and substance abuse.

These tips have helped many people with ADHD. They can make your life better and help you do well at work.

30 Precise Strategies To Stop ADHD Self-Sabotage

For Negative Self-Talk

• 1. Have more self-compassion and less self-criticism.
• 2. Practice self-awareness and challenge your negative thoughts.
• 3. Learn to value your efforts and discipline. See mistakes as a part of the learning process.

For Perfectionism

• 4. Set realistic goals and create a good-enough plan to achieve them.
• 5. Get a growth mindset — see obstacles and setbacks as opportunities to grow and improve.

For People-Pleasing Tendency

• 6. Set boundaries on your time — go for digital minimalism.
• 7. Prioritize your tasks and leisure.
• 8. Learn to say “No” more often.

For Risk-Taking Impulses

• 9. Ask others what they think and if you need to take time before making any decision.
• 10. “When in doubt, don’t.” Don’t rush into everything that can be done later.
• 11. Avoid times and scenes that make you impulsive and take risks.

For Procrastination & ADHD Freeze

• 12. Voice-note or write down your thoughts, feelings, and to-dos, daily.
• 13. Break tasks into small steps to achieve “easy wins”. Settle for good enough.
• 14. Use visual aids and reminders to stay organized and on track. Use Pomodoro.
• 15. Allow time in your daily schedule for movement activities like walking and dancing.

For Excuse-Making and Blaming

• 16. Start taking responsibility instead of wasting mental energy on making elaborate excuses.
• 17. Stop trying to blame external circumstances when you need to fix your inner world.

For Emotional Outbursts

• 18. Get proper sleep; it helps immensely!
• 19. Meditate mindfulness daily, even if for 15 minutes.
• 20. Seek professional support from therapists, coaches, or ADHD specialists.
• 21. Regular exercise is one of the best friends of ADHD people to improve focus and happiness.

For Overcommitment

• 22. Prioritize your tasks and your mental range to handle things.
• 23. Stop saying “Yes” whenever asked to do something. In fact, make this your default: “I am too tied up today. I’ll tell you when I get free.”
• 24. Set boundaries — and enforce those boundaries.
• 25. Delegate less specific tasks to others.

For Abuse/Addiction Risks

• 26. Establish routines and structure to reduce reliance on substances.
• 27. Introspect your deeper issues. Learn how to cope with your stresses, triggers, and cravings.
• 28. Build a support network of friends, family, or support groups to keep you on the right track.
• 29. Seek professional help to address substance abuse and alcohol dependence (recent findings say alcohol is always harmful, even as an occasional weekend drink).

For Burnout Prevention

• 30. Allot time for self-care and self-nurture. Treat yourself with love.

How To Handle Your ADHD Self-Defeating Behaviors?

ADHD presents unique challenges which a neurotypical may not ever understand.

Living with ADHD can be really tough, I know this from a first-hand perspective. Sometimes, it’s like you’re trying to get through a maze, and it feels like there are walls everywhere.

But you know that there is a way to get out, and so you are not ready to give up or shout for help.

There are some great ways to deal with ADHD symptoms like that, and I’d like to share some helpful strategies with you.

First, let’s talk about negative self-talk.

We all have that little voice in our heads that can be pretty harsh, right? Imagine you’re about to take a test, and that voice says, “You’re going to fail.”

What I want you to do is, instead of believing it, try to challenge the thought. Ask yourself, “Is that really true? What’s the proof?”

Replace those negative thoughts with something positive, like “I’ve worked hard at this.”

Treat yourself with kindness. Talk to yourself like you are talking to your best friend—everyone makes mistakes!

Now, onto procrastination.

We put things off because our ADHD brain doesn’t quite appreciate a future urgency. So, we tend to wait for the last minute.

Tackling a task with a future deadline seems like a waste of time now. The task doesn’t seem too daunting, it just doesn’t seem that urgent.

A good trick is to tell your ADHD brain, “I’m doing it a bit now, just a little bit.” That lets your brain maintain the “non-urgent” status of the task, and yet make you work at it.

For example, if you need to clean your room, tell yourself, “l’ll just pick up these T-shirts and go wash them.”

Setting specific mini-goals and short-deadlines can help too; it creates a little urgency that might push you to get started.

And don’t forget to reward yourself for completing those small tasks—it can really motivate you!

Another thing many people with ADHD struggle with is people-pleasing. It’s tempting to say yes to everything because we want others to be happy.

But remember, it’s okay to set boundaries!

You don’t have to do everything for everyone else. Think about what you need first, and fulfill your needs. It’s hard to help others if you are not okay.

Setting boundaries for yourself can help too—know what behaviors are off-limits.

Risk-taking is another common issue.

Before jumping into something impulsive, take a moment to think about the consequences. Ask yourself what could go wrong and talk it over with someone you trust.

Sometimes people with ADHD experience what’s called an ADHD freeze, where they feel stuck and can’t start tasks at all. Next time you feel this way, try using reminders or visual aids like sticky notes.

Like, “I’m tired, but I’ll do it tired.”

Creating a daily routine can also help keep things organized and make it easier to focus.

Making excuses is something we all do from time to time. If you find yourself blaming circumstances instead of taking responsibility, take a step back and reflect on why that happens.

Try reframing those thoughts into something more positive; instead of saying “I can’t do this,” say “I’ll find a way.” Setting realistic goals can also keep you motivated.

Overcommitting is another trap that’s easy to fall into. Just because you can do many things doesn’t mean you should take on everything at once!

Be honest with yourself about what you can handle, and learn how to say no when necessary.

Lastly, if addiction or substance abuse is an issue for you or someone you know, address it immediately.

Find your trigger scenarios and avoid them. Like, don’t go to a party when everyone else will be smoking and drinking.

Get professional help to overcome your addictive behaviors and thoughts.

Find healthier ways to cope with stress—like exercise or hobbies—can make a big difference. Build a support network of friends or family who understand what you’re going through is also really helpful.

Get proper sleep, daily. You may not realize how much of your day can be spent in peace if you just had a full 8 hours of restful sleep the previous night.

Final Words

ADHD’ers also tend to hyperfocus, keep losing track of time and are always late, have difficulty switching between tasks. They go mind-wandering while talking to people, and miss important social cues (that they regret later excessively).

You could fix many of those with a consistent mindfulness meditation routine.

J.K. Rowling said: “It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be.” With the right tools and mindset, anyone can thrive!

Seek help from a therapist, counselor, coach, or an ADHD specialist if you feel overwhelmed, have worrying thoughts, or have uncontrollable impulses.

√ Also Read: Are You Self-Gaslighting Yourself To Sickness? How To Stop?

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