Today's Saturday • 10 mins read
Envy is what we feel when someone else has what we desire.
Niels van de Ven, professor of consumer psychology at Tilburg University, defines envy as “the pain that arises from the good fortune of others.”
But envy is not a single emotion; it may include one or more of these seven emotions: resentment, jealousy, inadequacy, frustration, longing, admiration, and anger.
More on that later. Now, take this quiz to find out your envy levels.
How Envious You Are: Take This Quiz
Benign and Malicious Envy Scale
Please indicate how much you agree or disagree with each statement based on how it generally describes you.
Response Options:
- 1 – STRONGLY DISAGREE
- 2 – DISAGREE
- 3 – NEITHER DISAGREE NOR AGREE
- 4 – AGREE
- 5 – STRONGLY AGREE
Your Scores:
Total Envy Score: /50
Benign Envy Score: /25
Malicious Envy Score: /25
Interpretation:
- Benign Envy: Higher scores suggest that when you experience envy, it tends to motivate you towards self-improvement and positive striving.
- Malicious Envy: Higher scores suggest that when you experience envy, it tends to be associated with ill will, resentment, or a desire for others to lose their advantages.
- Understanding your balance between benign and malicious envy can provide insight into how you react to others’ successes.
7 Emotions of Envy
Envy may include at least seven key emotions:
- Resentment: When you perceive that someone else has something you desire but also feel they do not deserve it, it could lead you to feel bitter or resentful.
- Jealousy: When you feel threatened by the possibility of losing something you have and value, such as a relationship or status, to someone else.
- Inadequacy: When you compare yourself unfavorably to others, resulting in feelings of inferiority and self-doubt.
- Frustration: Frustration means feeling upset or annoyed because of being unable to change or achieve something. You may feel that situations in your life block you from achieving your goals or desires, especially when you see other people in your domain succeed.
- Longing: This is an experience of deep desire for what someone else possesses, creating a sense of yearning for their qualities, possessions, or achievements. It is often laced with mild sadness.
- Admiration: When you recognize the positive qualities or successes of another while simultaneously feeling envious of their accomplishments. This may be called positive envy.
- Anger: Envy may take the form of anger, whether at yourself for not achieving certain goals or at someone else who seems to have what you desire.
Types of Envy
Studies show envy can be of two types: benign and malicious. The benign envy is constructive, while the malicious envy is destructive.
1. Benign Envy: The Motivator
Benign envy is when you respect and admire someone’s success and want to reach the same level of success as them.
This envy may be frustrating, but it activates action tendencies aimed at improving yourself.
Your colleague gets promoted. You feel envious. But instead of bitterness, you feel inspired to work harder, because you want that promotion too.
This type of envy pushes you forward. It makes you work harder, find out more about your field, and try new things. You see what someone else has and think, “I want that too. I can get there.”
2. Malicious Envy: The Destroyer
Malicious envy is darker. It comes with action tendencies aimed at pulling down the envied person from their superior position.
It is a deep feeling of hostility and resentment from perceiving the success of a superior person as undeserved. So, it makes the envier want to tear down the other person’s success.
Say a colleague gets promoted. You feel envious. But this time, you secretly hope their project fails. You want their success to disappear.
This type of envy holds you back. It makes you focus your energy on bringing others down. You waste your mental energy planning or wishing for them to fail and be humiliated.
Why Should You Make This Distinction?
At the root of all envy is comparing yourself to someone better off. This comparison might be okay to some degree, as social comparisons are how we measure our place in life.
Both types of envy start the same way, but they lead to entirely different outcomes. What truly matters is what you do with your envy.
So, when you feel envious of someone, ask yourself, “What do I want to do about this?”
- If you want to improve yourself, you’re on the right path. Let your benign envy motivate you.
- If your envy makes you want to see them fail, stop yourself and redirect that energy toward your own goals.
Benign envy motivates you, while malicious envy destroys your mindset.
There’s a nuance, as found in this study (de Ven, 2011): You can be motivated by benign envy only if you think you can improve yourself.
- If you believe self-improvement is attainable, it can lead you to better performance.
- But if you think improvement is too hard, you’ll feel no motivation to do better (but you might still feel admiration for the envied person).
Final Words
See it this way: The person you envy has most likely worked hard for years for what they have. You can get the same results if you follow the same discipline and work as hard.
Use this helpful self-affirmation to deal with envy:
“When I envy others, I focus on how I can become equally successful in the future.”
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√ Also Read: Quiz: How Lonely Are You? A Quick Check!
√ Please share this if you found it helpful.