Today's Sunday • 5 mins read
Narcissists are experts at hiding behind charm, drama, and manipulation. They operate from a place of ego, control, and self-preservation.
For a long time, they may get away with their lies, blame-shifting, and toxic behaviors. Until one day, they don’t.
That moment comes when you see through the mask.
When you recognize who they really are, how they operate, and what they’re really doing, something shifts. The sense of power they once held over you begins to crumble. And that’s when the narcissist goes into survival mode.
They don’t handle exposure well. Because when a narcissist knows you’ve figured them out, it threatens the one thing they can’t afford to lose, which is, control over you.
So what happens when they realize you have found out their true nature?
7 Things That Happen When A Narcissist Knows You Have Figured Them Out
1. They Deny Everything
The first move is always denial. Narcissists hate being exposed. When confronted, they often respond with instant denial and emotional defensiveness.
They may say things like:
- “You’re overreacting.”
- “That never happened.”
- “You’re imagining things.”
- “Why would you think that about me?”
They’ll gaslight you into doubting your memory, intuition, or sanity. The goal is to make you question the truth you just discovered.
To them, denial isn’t a strategy. It’s a reflex.
2. They Twist The Story And Blame You
Once denial doesn’t work, they shift into blame mode. Narcissists never admit fault, so they rewrite the situation to make you the villain.
Suddenly:
- Your reaction is the problem.
- You’re being “too sensitive.”
- You’re “jealous,” “toxic,” or “crazy.”
They’ll paint themselves as the wounded party and accuse you of being the reason things got “so tense.” This is classic projection—blaming you for the very things they do.
It’s a psychological offense disguised as a defense.
3. They Lash Out With Narcissistic Rage
If you continue standing your ground, the narcissist may explode. Narcissistic rage can look like yelling, name-calling, stonewalling, or even threats.
This reaction is fueled by shame and fear. Deep down, they can’t handle being seen as flawed or deceitful. Being “found out” crushes their fragile sense of superiority.
So they go on the attack.
The rage isn’t just anger. It’s panic. They feel their power slipping away.
4. They Try to “Love-Bomb” You Again
Not every narcissist responds with rage. Some suddenly become extra affectionate, apologetic, or attentive. This is not a real apology or a sincere change of heart.
It’s a reset tactic.
They don’t want to lose their control, supply, or advantage, so they switch back to charm mode:
- They recall old happy memories.
- They suddenly “understand” your feelings.
- They say they’ll change, or that they already have.
You may feel like you’re getting the person you “first met” back. But that was never the real person. This is just the mask again.
5. They Gather Allies And Smear Your Name
A narcissist who feels exposed or threatened doesn’t suffer in silence. They look for backup.
They may start telling others:
- “I don’t know what got into them.”
- “They’ve been acting different lately.”
- “I tried to help, but they’re impossible.”
They’ll twist the story to turn family, friends, or coworkers against you. Narcissists can look calm, composed, and credible in public. While you’re exhausted from emotional war behind the scenes.
This is how they protect their image and isolate you.
6. They Play The Victim
If you pull away, set firm boundaries, or leave, they may switch fully into victim mode.
- “After all I did for you…”
- “You never appreciated me.”
- “I’m the one who got hurt.”
This tactic is meant to guilt you into coming back or staying quiet.
Be aware: narcissists don’t feel genuine remorse. They feel narcissistic injury. And to them, being called out is an attack—even when you’re just stating facts.
7. They Exit The Scene, But Not Always For Good
When a narcissist loses control completely, they may pull away. This can look like:
- Abandoning the relationship
- Going silent for weeks or months
- Acting like you never mattered
- Cutting you off without closure
This is usually a strategic exit, not a real goodbye. They retreat to plan the next move, regroup emotionally, or search for a new supply source.
Some come back months or even years later, expecting the old dynamic.
That’s why no contact or strict boundaries are essential. If you let them back in, they pick up right where they left off.
Final Words
If a narcissist knows you’ve figured them out, you’ll witness their real personality: no mask, no charm, no excuses left to hide behind.
This can be painful, confusing, or even dangerous if you stay in the tug-of-war. But it can also be the turning point where you reclaim your peace.
Exposure isn’t what breaks a narcissist. It’s what breaks their hold on you.
Once you see the truth, you can’t unsee it. And that’s your power, not theirs.
Protect your boundaries. Trust what you’ve learned. And if the narcissist tries to pull you back with manipulation, remember: knowing the truth is step one. Acting on it is where the healing begins.
• • •
√ Also Read:
√ Please share this if you found it helpful.