Why ADHD People Feel Limerence (Strong One-Sided Love)

• Modified: Feb 20, 2025 • Read in: 6 mins

Scientists have found interesting connections between limerence and ADHD.

Limerence is an involuntary, overwhelming romantic infatuation with another person, especially when the other person does not reciprocate the feelings.
ADHD (Attention Deficit & Hyperactivity Disorder) is a neurodevelopmental disorder causing attention difficulties, hyperactivity, and impulsiveness.

How these two connect in our brains?

Emotions In The ADHD Brain

Well over 500 million adults around the world have ADHD.

The ADHD brain works differently. It has a different way of focusing on people and tasks, and making decisions.

ADHD people:

Feel emotions more strongly
Focus intensely on specific interests
Experience deeper romantic feelings
Have ADHD freeze or ADHD paralysis

People with ADHD often seek excitement because their brains produce less dopamine, making them seek intense experiences that boost this feel-good chemical. The excitement of a new romance can give them the stimulation their brains crave.

That, coupled with the ADHD tendency to fixate intensely on things that interest them, makes them more likely to get limerent obsession.

So, people with ADHD experience romantic attraction differently. They can:

Develop intense feelings very quickly
Give plenty of attention to someone they like
Switch their focus to someone new all of a sudden
Get deeply absorbed in thoughts about their crush

These experiences match what happens during limerence, when someone feels intensely strong romantic feelings towards their target.

ADHD & Romance: What Scientists Know

Research about ADHD and romantic feelings remains limited. Scientists have studied similar patterns in autism, especially when feelings become problematic. However, we need more research about:

How ADHD affects romantic attraction
Ways to help people manage intense feelings
The connection between different brain types and romance

Scientists focus mostly on what happens when these feelings become harmful. But they need to study the earlier stages too. This would help:

Prevent negative behaviors
Support people who experience intense feelings
Create better ways to handle strong emotions

Scientists like Song (2021), Beaudoin (2017), and others continue studying these connections. Their work helps us understand how different brain types experience love and attraction.

Why Are ADHD People More Likely To Feel Limerence

There’s a clear behavioral overlap between ADHD and limerence.

ADHD traits, like impulsivity, hyperfocus, and the need for stimulation, provide a plausible explanation for why ADHD individuals might be more prone to limerence.

Hyperfocus and Attention Patterns: ADHD individuals often have an ability to hyperfocus on specific tasks or interests, which can extend to people they are romantically interested in. The passage mentions that this can lead to an intense fixation on another person, similar to the obsessive thoughts in limerence (Hupfeld et al., 2019; Ozel-Kizil et al., 2016).
Reward-Seeking Behavior and Dopamine: ADHD is associated with lower dopamine levels, which can drive individuals to seek stimulation or rewards, including intense emotional experiences. Limerence, with its intense emotional highs, might be particularly appealing or compelling for those with ADHD as a means to elevate their dopamine levels (Wender et al., 2001).
Impulsive Behavior: The impulsivity characteristic of ADHD can lead to rapid, intense feelings towards someone, often described as ‘love-bombing’. This behavior aligns with the sudden onset of limerent feelings where the individual might act on their emotions without much forethought or consideration for the consequences.
Executive Function Deficits: ADHD impacts executive functions like decision-making and emotional regulation (Beaudoin et al., 2017). This can make it difficult for individuals to moderate their emotional responses or to pull back from an intense fixation, which is a core aspect of limerence.
Intensification of Romantic and Sexual Interests: The passage notes that ADHD can amplify a person’s emotional experience in romantic and sexual contexts (Pera, 2016). This intensification can lead to the all-consuming nature of limerence, where the individual’s thoughts are dominated by the limerent object.
Lack of Reciprocity: Limerence often doesn’t require reciprocity, which fits with the ADHD behavioral pattern of focusing intensely on something or someone without necessarily considering the feedback or social cues from that person. This matches the description of the ADHD individual’s ability to fixate intensely without the need for the other’s response.

Understanding these connections between ADHD and limerence could help in early intervention to manage or mitigate behaviors that might escalate to more harmful levels like stalking.

Further Reading:

Song, P., et al. (2021) – The prevalence of adult attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder: A global systematic review and meta-analysis. Journal of Global Health, 11, 04009.
Beaudoin, A., et al. (2017) – Executive functions in adults with ADHD. Journal of Attention Disorders, 21(7), 579-588.
Wender, P. H., et al. (2001) – Adults with ADHD. An overview. Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, 931(1), 1-16.
Hupfeld, K. E., et al. (2019) – Living “in the zone”: Hyperfocus in adult ADHD. ADHD Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorders, 11(2), 191-208.
Pera, G. (2016) – Attention Deficit Disorder in Adults: A Different Way of Thinking (4th ed.). Taylor & Francis.
Ozel-Kizil, E. T., et al. (2016) – Assessing attention in ADHD: Comparison of the Attention Network Test and the Test of Variables of Attention. Journal of Attention Disorders, 20(11), 958-965.
Stokes, M. A., et al. (2007) – Stalking, and social and romantic functioning among adolescents and adults with autism spectrum disorder. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 37(10), 1969-1986.
Post, R. M., et al. (2014) – More stressors prior to and during the course of bipolar illness are associated with more adverse outcomes. Acta Psychiatrica Scandinavica, 129(5), 384-396.
Mercer, L., & Allely, C. S. (2020) – Autism spectrum conditions and stalking. Journal of Criminal Psychology, 10(3), 201-212.
Sperry, L., & Brunero, S. (2021) – Neurodiversity and behavioral patterns: A review of the literature. Neurodiversity Studies Quarterly, 3(1), 45-63.

Final Words

ADHD & Parents: Parents can affect how children express and develop ADHD:

Positive parenting strategies, such as warmth, clear communication, consistent discipline, and positive reinforcement, can help children with ADHD manage their symptoms better.
Negative parenting strategies, such as criticism, rejection, harsh and inconsistent discipline, and over-controlling parenting can worsen ADHD symptoms.
Children with ADHD may behave in ways that lead to more negative parenting styles.
Psychologist Scott Barry Kaufman says, “ADHD shows very high heritability.”

√ Also Read: Stages of Limerence: Steps of Obsessive Love

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