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— Reviewed by Dr. Sandip Roy.The differences between narcissists and Stoics are not just in their actions, but also in their basic outlooks on life.
- Stoics embrace a philosophy of self-control, humility, and acceptance of life’s inevitable challenges. They focus on virtue and reason over fleeting emotions or desires.
- Narcissists, on the other hand, are often impulsive, arrogant, and aggressive, especially when they feel insulted or rejected. They also tend to show others down to feel more self-important.
For starters, a narcissist is an overly self-centered person who needs a constant supply of attention and admiration. They cannot empathize with the pain of others. Their relentless attitude of “me-first, others-last” leaves those around them feeling used.
In extreme cases, this personality manifests as Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). This study found patients with NPD scored high on perfectionism, shame, and aggression.
In contrast, Stoics live for virtue, mindfulness, and emotional detachment from external events and experiences.
Narcissists vs. Stoics
A Stoic can avoid being emotionally controlled by external events as they are disciplined to focus exclusively on their own thoughts, beliefs, and actions.
In sharp contrast, narcissists have fragile ego and emotional volatility, and often try to control and manipulate others.
Here’s a table of differences between the two of them:
| Characteristic | Stoic Person | Narcissistic Person |
|---|---|---|
| Self-perception | Humble, focuses on reason and virtue | Grandiose sense of self-importance, inflated ego |
| Emotions | Exercises self-control, maintains equanimity | Fragile ego, easily threatened and lashes out, aggressive |
| Desires | Prioritizes inner peace over material possessions | Entitled, constant need for admiration and validation, envious and jealous |
| Relationships | Values genuine connections and mutual understanding | Exploitative, lacks empathy, leaves others feeling used |
| Adversity | Views challenges as opportunities for growth | Blames others, refuses to take responsibility, perfectionists |
| Feedback | Open to constructive criticism, seeks self-improvement | Rejects criticism, sees it as a personal attack, feels shame |
| Ethics | Strong moral principles, acts with integrity | Unethical behavior that they justify by their sense of superiority |
| Mindset | Focuses on what’s within their control | Obsessed with controlling people, perceptions, and situations |
| Perspective | Recognizes the impermanence of things and people | Demands constant validation and attention, has grudge against those who disrespect |
| Goals | Seeks wisdom, virtue, and a life well-lived | Driven by selfish motivations, vanity, and pursuit of admiration |
| Emotional Regulation | Detached from external events, avoids emotional overwhelm | Emotionally volatile, fragile sense of self-worth |
| Handling People | Uses Stoic discipline to safeguard emotional well-being | Exhibits narcissistic traits and behaviors that upset others |
Final Words
When dealing with narcissists, this Stoic discipline of avoiding emotional overwhelm can be particularly helpful.
Stoics can effectively deal with narcissists by using their cultivated focus on only what lies within their control. This safeguards their emotional well-being.
√ Also Read: How To Be Stoic With Narcissists, Selfish & Mean People?
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