Today's Thursday • 13 mins read
— By Dr. Sandip Roy.
Empathy lets us understand another’s struggles from their unique point. But why is empathy important in society and life? And what did Stephen Hawking say on it?
Do you sometimes wish you had someone to talk to who would listen without interrupting or offering solutions? Have you ever wanted to hug someone who was in distress, even if they didn’t tell you what was wrong?
Feeling heard and understood, and being able to do both, is a human need. Narcissists, because they lack empathy, do not have this quality.
The beauty of empathy lies here: While we yearn to receive it from others, we also feel the urge to give it out to others.
Empathy is our ability to understand and feel another person’s struggles from their unique standpoint (“feel where the shoe pinches on their feet”).
But why is it important to have more empathy in today’s world? Wouldn’t it drain us?
Find out what Stephen Hawking and other scientists said.
Why Is Empathy Important In Society: Stephen Hawking And Four Other Scientists
- Empathy in society is a key part of social intelligence and social groups.
- It allows us to connect with others at a meaningful level and build a humane society.
- Research shows we are more helpful to others (prosocial) when we have greater empathy.
These are 5 incredible insights by five outstanding scientists on empathy to understand why empathy is so important today.
1. Stephen Hawking: “The quality I would most like to magnify is empathy.”
Stephen Hawking (8 Jan 1942 – 14 Mar 2018), one of the most loved cosmologists on Planet Earth, best known for his book A Brief History of Time, was noted for his sense of humor.
One amusing remark he made about being one of the world’s most popular scientists,
“The downside of my celebrity is that I cannot go anywhere in the world without being recognized. It is not enough for me to wear dark sunglasses and a wig. The wheelchair gives me away.”
Hawking strongly believed in love and family. He famously said, “It would not be much of a universe if it wasn’t home to the people you love.”
This is the inspiring story he left us with:
Adaeze Uyanwah, a 24-year-old student, won a prize to tour the Science Museum, London, accompanied by Professor Stephen Hawking. When Uyanwah asked which human trait he would most like to change, Hawking replied:
“The human failing I would most like to correct is aggression. It may have had a survival advantage in caveman days, to get more food, territory, or a partner with whom to reproduce, but now it threatens to destroy us all.”
Hawking clearly pointed out that aggression has outlived its survival value in the modern world, and to respond with aggression today is a failure of our humanness.
He warned that unchecked aggression could have disastrous consequences, such as the annihilation of humanity through the use of nuclear weapons.
Uyanwah also remembered to ask the professor which human trait he would like to see more often. Hawking said empathy.
The quality I would most like to magnify is empathy. It brings us together in a peaceful, loving state.
— Stephen Hawking
Stephen Hawking dedicated much of his life to explaining cosmic black holes. He passed away in 2018 without being honored with a Nobel Prize.
However, his friend and research colleague, Roger Penrose, received the 2020 Nobel Physics Prize for proving the formation of black holes in the case of a gravitational collapse of a star.
2. V S Ramachandran: “Mirror Neurons Allow Us To Empathize With Others’ Pain.”
Mirror neurons can make us feel more empathy.
That’s what the mirror neurons are doing, allowing me to empathize with your pain.
— V S Ramachandran
One of the world’s most influential neuroscientists, and the director of the Center for Brain and Cognition at the University of California, San Diego, V S Ramachandran, talked of the relationship between empathy and our brain cells — the mirror neurons.
The concept of mirror neurons first came to light in the 1990s.
A group of Italian scientists, led by neuroscientist Giacomo Rizzolatti, discovered that certain brain cells that got active when a monkey performed an activity, also became active when that monkey observed another monkey performing the same action.
They suggested that the monkeys’ brains had mirror neurons that fire when they observe or hear any activity that is identical to their own action.
Later studies found humans have mirror neurons that are much more intuitive, flexible, and evolved than those in monkeys.
Mirror neurons occur in several areas of the brain—the prefrontal cortex, the posterior parietal lobe, the superior temporal sulcus, and the insula.
A horde of studies on empathy for pain using fMRI revealed that the anterior insula and the anterior cingulate cortex were routinely activated, both while experiencing pain and when seeing another person in pain.
Prof. Ramachandran has been a passionate flag-bearer for mirror neurons. His NYT bestseller book, The Tell-Tale Brain, walks us through his argument that our mirror neurons might be crucial in helping humans go leaps beyond the apes in developing self-awareness, humor, and complex thinking.
He famously said, “… mirror neurons will do for psychology what DNA did for biology.”
Asked to introduce mirror neurons, he replied,
These are neurons which fire… when I simply watch another person—watch you reach out and do exactly the same action. So, these neurons are performing a virtual reality simulation of your mind, your brain.
Therefore, they’re constructing a theory of your mind—of your intention—which is important for all kinds of social interaction.
Relating these to empathy, he said,
These (mirror) neurons are probably involved in empathy for pain. If I really and truly empathize with your pain, I need to experience it myself. That’s what the mirror neurons are doing, allowing me to empathize with your pain—saying, in effect, that person is experiencing the same agony and excruciating pain as you would if somebody were to poke you with a needle directly. That’s the basis of all empathy.
He also regretted that he might have been the one responsible for the popular misconception that mirror neurons are responsible for everything we humans are today.
And I myself am partly responsible because I made this playful remark, not entirely serious, that mirror neurons will do for psychology what DNA did for biology and open up a whole new field of investigation. Turned out I was right, but it’s overdone—I mean, a lot of people, anything they can’t understand, they say it’s due to mirror neurons.
3. Brené Brown: “Empathy communicates that incredibly healing message, ‘You’re not alone.’”
Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston. Her books include Rising Strong, Daring Greatly, and The Gifts of Imperfection.
She’s fond of saying,
“Empathy has no script. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It’s simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of ‘You’re not alone.’”
Dr. Brené Brown identifies four attributes of empathy:
- Perspective-taking. It is the willingness and ability to see and feel the world from another person’s point of view (“walking in their shoes” ). It requires setting aside your own issues and truly listening to what the other person is facing.
- Staying non-judgmental. Avoid judging another’s grief or hardship. Judgment often shields us from discomfort. When we step out of the judge’s chair, we make them feel safe enough to share their experiences without fear of being dismissed or shamed.
- Recognizing emotions. Search inward to grasp what the other person is feeling and, when apt, name that emotion. Check your reading by asking a confirming question, for example, “It seems like you’re feeling sad about that.”
- Communicating correctly. Resist the urge to say you “understand” or to offer immediate solutions or lectures. Validate their experience and invite them to share more, for example: “It sounds like you’re in a hard place. Tell me more.”
Brown also reminds us that empathy is a skill that improves with practice. When we give others empathy, we encourage compassion, authenticity, and intimacy in our relationships.
4. Bruce Perry: “Empathy is what makes us human.”
Are we losing our ability to empathize?
“Empathy is what makes us human,” says brain scientist Dr. Bruce Perry, a trauma expert and co-author (with Oprah Winfrey) of the book What Happened To You.
Human beings are biological creatures with genetic gifts… The only way we survived was by forming relationships, collaborative relationships… Human beings are neurobiologically meant to be connected to others: to live, work, hunt, play, invent, and go in groups.
Our brain is a social organ; we are social animals. We don’t have any natural body armor, camouflage, stinging other things. We form groups. Human beings are ‘meat on feet’ to the natural world.
The only way we survive is by forming collaborative groups, by sharing what we hunted and what we gathered with everybody else in our group.
Bruce Perry outlines the 4 qualities of empathy:
- to be able to see the world as others see it
- to be nonjudgmental
- to understand another’s feelings
- to communicate our understanding of that person’s feelings
He further says:
The typical American spends 11 hours a day interacting with digital devices, and not with fleshy objects! And I want to talk about the consequences of this for how we end up expressing our ability to be compassionate (or not).
You see it all the time, complaints in the psychological literature about the disconnectedness of multitasking constantly with our phones… but we do it ourselves. It breaks the rhythm of social contact, of empathic engagement — and the truth is: those things are physiologically meaningful.
- Did you know, people with a positive mindset have these 6 traits: MOGRAH: 1. Mindfulness 2. Optimism 3. Gratitude 4. Resilience 5. Acceptance 6. Honesty?
5. Izabela Zych: “Bullies and Victims, Both Score Low on Empathy.”
Are the victims of bullying low on empathy? Read that again: bully victims, not bully perpetrators.
Izabela Zych, Ph.D., is an Associate Professor in Psychology at the University of Córdoba (Spain). Her research interest focuses on bullying and cyberbullying (trolling). She holds that empathy plays a significant role in bullying.
School bullying is a form of hostile behavior that can harm both in the short-term and long-term.
Bullying involves three parties:
- the victim
- the perpetrator
- the bystander audience
Zych reminds us that school bullying often has an element of the unwritten “law of silence.” Students who see or know about the act do not report it to the authorities or their parents out of fear that they could be the next victim.
Most bullies have dark personality traits. Bullies with sadism are willing to spend time and energy hurting an innocent person, increasing the intensity of their attack once they realize that the innocent target will not fight back (Buckels, Jones, & Paulhus, 2013).
In both face-to-face bullying and the “faceless” trolling, the bully chooses its victims as those who can’t defend themselves easily.
Furthermore, there is a strong correlation between the two. Real-world bullies are often cyberbullies, though many trolls are people with normal social behavior.
Zych and her colleagues found (Empathy and Callous–Unemotional Traits in Different Bullying Roles) that school bullies scored low on total empathy, which is both cognitive empathy and affective empathy, as compared to non-bullies.
Boys and girls showed no difference in this.
The bullies also scored high on callous-unemotional traits (a childhood version of psychopathy marked by a disregard for others, a lack of empathy, a low sense of guilt, and emotional “coldness”).
A somewhat surprising finding was that victims were low on empathy when compared to non-involved students. The victims also scored high on callous-unemotional traits as compared to non-victims.
Read that again: they found the victims to be more emotionally “cold” than non-victims.
Izabela Zych has co-authored the book Protecting Children Against Bullying and Its Consequences.
The book defines bullying as a public mental health issue and prevention as a deterrent for future antisocial and law-breaking behavior.
Cyberbullying or trolling is aggressive behavior toward others on the internet using electronic devices. Learn how to handle the trolls most effectively, according to an expert.
Empathy vs. Sympathy
Empathy involves sharing and understanding another’s feelings from their perspective, while sympathy expresses concern without fully joining their emotional experience.
These below are more differences between the two:
| Aspect | Empathy | Sympathy |
|---|---|---|
| Definition | The capacity to understand and share another person’s feelings, imagining their experience. | An expression of care or concern for another’s misfortune without sharing their emotional state. |
| Emotional response | Feeling with the person; mirrors or resonates with their emotion. | Feeling for the person; conveys compassion but keeps emotional distance. |
| Perspective | Adopts the other person’s viewpoint to appreciate their inner experience. | Recognizes the other’s situation from an external standpoint without taking their perspective. |
| Typical action | Validates emotions, listens, and offers support aligned with the person’s needs. | Offers condolences, comfort, or advice; may emphasize reassurance or solutions. |
| Connection | Builds closeness and mutual understanding. | Maintains a degree of separation between observer and sufferer. |
| Focus | Centers on the person’s emotional experience. | Centers on the external circumstances or consequences of the event. |
Can Empathy Increase Risk-Taking?
Empathy, a core component of emotional intelligence (EI), improves social understanding and emotion regulation, shaping how people assess and respond to risk.
Spanish researchers found that high EI can both reduce and elevate risk-taking depending on the domain.
Protective effects: Higher EI reduces risky health-related and ethical behaviors such as substance use, unsafe intimate activity, and reckless driving, by supporting emotion regulation and safer decisions.
Promotive effects: High EI can increase risk-taking in social and recreational contexts, where emotional attunement and social savvy encourage adventurous choices.
No effect: No consistent link emerged between EI and gambling or financial risk.
Gender/Age differences: Men were generally more risk-prone except in social situations. Risk-taking also declined with age.
Final Words
Maya Angelou wrote, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” That captures empathy’s power: feelings linger long after words and actions fade.
When someone shares their experience, empathy helps us resist the urge to fix it, advise them, or insert our own stories. As Marshall Rosenberg wrote in The Surprising Purpose of Anger, “Empathy… calls upon us to empty our mind and listen to others with our whole being.”
Finally, please note that empathy means understanding another person’s emotions, not taking responsibility for them.
√ Also Read: The 5 Dangers of Empathy
√ Please share this if you found it helpful.
» You deserve happiness! Choosing therapy could be your best decision.
...
• Disclosure: Buying via our links earns us a small commission.