Today's Friday • 5 mins read
— By Dr. Sandip Roy.
Most successful people in this world are excellent listeners. When they start a conversation, their main focus is on you rather than themselves.
Active listeners are great to talk to because they pay attention while we talk as if it were the most important thing going on at the moment.
Being able to listen well also means that you miss fewer words because your mind has not wandered off.
Why Is Active Listening Important?
An active listener makes sure the person speaking feels heard. Their audience often sees them as empathetic, supportive, and valuable people.
Some proven benefits of active listening:
1. More Empathy
Active listening solves the current crisis of low attention spans. It increases empathy between two people, improves their communication, and reduces feelings of ideological and emotional isolation.
2. Better Communication
Active listening cuts down the possibility of misinterpretation and misjudgment. It promotes more in-depth understanding, leading to more fruitful communication.
3. More Self-Awareness
Active listeners are more self-aware people. Since they listen more and talk less, they often get insights about themselves that they would not have learned otherwise.
4. Other Benefits
Being an active listener helps you better understand what someone is saying, build a relationship with them, and feel confident in your communication skills. Listening also increases humility in conversations (Lehmann, 2021).
How To Practice Active Listening
Active listening means receiving the full message in a conversation and delivering feedback via spoken and unspoken cues. Active listeners try to grasp the speaker’s thoughts and feelings without prejudice or bias.
The goal isn’t just to hear, but to understand. To set aside assumptions. To make the other person feel heard.
Here’s how to do it with care and clarity.
1. Make Eye Contact, But Do Not Stare
Looking someone in the eye shows you’re paying attention and that you value what they’re saying. It builds trust and helps people feel comfortable opening up.
But keep it natural.
Holding eye contact for more than 5 seconds without breaking can feel intrusive. Instead, softly focus on the person’s face. Look away briefly now and then, just enough to keep things relaxed.
Fun fact: Netflix once made headlines for reportedly banning its staff from holding eye contact for longer than five seconds as part of its workplace conduct policy. That might be extreme, but it highlights how important the nuance is.
2. Listen Without Interrupting
Give the speaker your full attention. That means no interruptions, no rehearsing your response in your head, no glancing at your phone.
Stay present. Focus on what they’re saying, and how they’re saying it.
Watch their expressions. Notice their tone. Let your body language show you’re listening. Give them gentle nods, and occasional affirming phrases like “I see” or “That makes sense.”
If you have a question or a thought, jot it down and bring it up when they are done. Respect their flow and let them finish.
3. Summarize and Clarify
When they’ve finished sharing a thought, repeat it back in your own words. Say something like:
“So, what I’m hearing is that you felt…” or
“Let me make sure I understood you correctly…”
Paraphrasing is repeating back the speaker’s message in your own words to clarify that you understood their message fully.
This shows you’ve been listening. And it gives them a chance to clarify if you’ve missed something. When done right, it can be a powerful tool to deepen your empathy for the speaker.
4. Look Beyond the Words
People communicate with more than just sentences. A pause, a sigh, or a tightening of the jaw can speak volumes.
Stay alert to what’s left unsaid. Be open to the emotions behind the words. If something feels off, gently check in.
“You hesitated there. Can I ask what you were feeling?”
Also, be honest with yourself. If your mind has drifted, catch it and return.
Don’t fake listening; people usually sense it.
5. Represent Their Message Clearly (When You’re the Bridge)
If you’re acting as an interviewer, host, or mediator, your job is to reflect the speaker’s message faithfully. Your audience should walk away with the same understanding you’ve gained.
- Confirm the key points with the speaker.
- Paraphrase accurately.
- Ask for clarity if needed.
- Avoid putting words in their mouth.
Why Is Active Listening Difficult To Implement?
Active listening is often difficult because it requires patience, time, and mental effort.
Modern life makes it a challenge to listen actively because we are constantly distracted, mentally busy, or the speaker sounds boring.
- If you are anxious or mind-wandering before an important interview or talk, try this: Stimulate Your Vagus Nerve To Calm Down Quickly.
Summary: How Active Listeners Act
- Fully concentrate on the speaker, offering your complete focus.
- Tune into the speaker’s body language and other non-verbal cues.
- Pose clarifying questions and occasionally recap the speaker’s statements.
- Hold off on formulating a counterpoint and clear your mind of distractions.
- Refrain from making judgments or evaluations about the speaker’s viewpoint.
- Respond to the speaker to confirm that you’ve accurately understood their message.
- Don’t cut off the speaker, as it can lead to annoyance and hinder a full grasp of their message.
- Show you are listening actively by using your own gestures and body language, like nodding, smiling, and keeping eye contact.
Final Words
Active listening isn’t just a technique. It’s a mindset. One built on patience, humility, and a sincere effort to understand.
When done well, it makes people feel seen, safe, and respected. And that kind of presence gets massive respect from others.
An active listener, at the bare minimum, doesn’t interrupt or finish the other person’s sentence for them.
√ Also Read: How To Answer Confidently In Interviews: The STAR Method
√ Please share it with someone if you found this helpful.