Today's Saturday • 9 mins read
Most of us imagine psychopaths as serial offenders and tough inmates. Surprisingly, more psychopaths exist outside of prisons than inside.
They may be your neighbor, colleague, dentist, housekeeper, or your child’s teacher. These are the high-functioning psychopaths.
You may have fallen for such a psychopath. They come off as smart, charming, and nice. So, the big question is:
Can psychopaths fall in love? If yes, how’s their ability to love different from that of normal people?
Can Psychopaths Fall In Love?
No, psychopaths, particularly those meeting clinical criteria for psychopathy (PCL-R ≥30), cannot fall in love in the conventional sense of a deep, empathetic, reciprocal, and vulnerable emotional bond.
Psychopaths have a shallow, fleeting, and self-centered way to experience positive emotions like love and happiness. They struggle to be emotionally deep, vulnerable, committed, and selfless, all of which define typical romantic love.
Moreover, their antisocial tendencies, pathological lying, manipulativeness, callousness, poor behavioral control, and lack of remorse, guilt, or empathy severely limit their capacity to love.
These core deficits arise from neurological differences, such as reduced amygdala and prefrontal cortex activity, which impair emotional processing, fear response, and empathy.
Can Psychopaths Experience Romantic Love?
No, people high in psychopathic traits cannot experience romantic love like neurotypicals, though they can and often do enter romantic relationships, sometimes long-term ones (including marriage or parenthood).
Their relationships typically lack deep emotional intimacy, mutual vulnerability, and genuine closeness. They struggle to form strong, reciprocal romantic bonds.
The core reason is their marked difficulty with emotional bonding. Psychopaths pursue relationships for stimulation, status, resources, or control, not out of a desire for mutual emotional connection. This makes sustaining meaningful, healthy relationships very challenging.
They avoid emotional closeness due to avoidant attachment styles and discomfort with vulnerability. Their limited emotional range and lack of emotional empathy prevent them from experiencing or expressing love in the same deep, reciprocal way that normal people do.
- Psychopathic “love” is often instrumental or self-centered. Their relationships serve personal needs (e.g., gratification, power, or utility) more than genuine care. They view partners more as sources of benefit or objects to control than as humans with independent needs and feelings.
- Potential for change is limited. Psychopathy is a highly stable personality trait, that is, which means their negative emotional and behavioral patterns are unlikely to change. Even therapy can only rarely produce genuine, lasting gains in emotional depth, empathy, or capacity for reciprocal romantic love.
Milder psychopaths, particularly those who are young and non-criminal, may improve some behaviors, like reduced impulsivity or aggression, through intensive, targeted interventions. But treatment outcomes for core traits remain poor overall.
So, while psychopaths can simulate romantic involvement and maintain relationships, these are typically superficial, exploitative, and high-risk for abusive behavior towards their partners.
Psychopaths In Romantic Relationships
These relationships often start with the psychopath being highly charming and attentive, only to exploit and harm their partner later.
Psychopathy is a strong risk factor for intimate partner abuse. Partners report polyvictimization, or multiple forms of abuse, in romantic relationships with people with high psychopathic traits.
Physical abuse is common. This study had 40% of women romantically involved with psychopathic men reporting physical battery. In this study, 62% of the victims reported physical harm.
The most common nonphysical acts, according to Forth and Sezlik’s (2022) research, were emotional abuse (98.0%), deception (95.8%), and financial abuse (80.7%).
Being involved with a psychopath leads to substantial negative impacts on the victim’s psychological and physical health, with high rates of symptoms comparable to PTSD and depression.
Psychopaths struggle to express emotions naturally, though they can experience affection or even intense romantic passion. Psychopathic love can sometimes turn into an unhealthy obsession, often leading to stalking, “jumping,” or more severe acts.
Since they lack empathy, have limited emotional range, and are self-absorbed, they are usually unable to fall in love or love someone the same way that normal people do.
While they may not feel normal love, psychopaths can temporarily fake and copy love and loving relationships. They do this to hide their true nature.
- Further Reading: The Experiences and Effects of Psychopathy in Romantic Relationships, Forth & Sezlik (2022). The study analyzed the mental and physical health outcomes of 457 intimate partners (89.5% female, aged 21 to 71) of individuals with psychopathic traits. Victims reported physical injuries (specific injuries like broken ribs, a black eye, and miscarriages), along with emotional abuse (98.0%), deception (95.8%), and financial abuse (80.7%).
Emotional Ability of Psychopaths
Psychopathy is marked by profound deficits in emotional processing. Its core features include shallow affect (muted emotional experience and expression), lack of remorse or guilt, absence of genuine empathy, superficial charm, pathological lying, and callousness.
Those traits make forming deep, reciprocal emotional bonds extremely difficult.
Psychopaths do experience emotions, but their emotional life is shallow, fleeting, and predominantly self-centered.
They can feel basic emotions such as anger, frustration, excitement, or pleasure, and may even experience intense lust or possessive attachment.
However, complex social emotions, especially guilt, remorse, deep affection, vulnerability, and love, are severely diminished or absent. This limited emotional range prevents empathy, emotional depth, and selfless care required for healthy romantic love.
Attachment and Bonding Difficulties
People with high psychopathic traits typically exhibit avoidant attachment styles. They tend to fear or avoid emotional closeness and vulnerability, which makes it hard to develop secure, intimate relationships. While some individuals may form long-term relationships or marriages, these are usually based on utility, control, excitement, or convenience rather than mutual emotional connection.
Affective Empathy vs. Cognitive Empathy
A key distinction in psychopathy is between:
- Affective empathy (also called emotional empathy; the ability to feel what others feel). Severely impaired or absent in psychopathic individuals.
- Cognitive empathy (the ability to understand and predict others’ emotions intellectually). Is often intact or even heightened in psychopathic individuals.
This combination is particularly dangerous in relationships. Psychopaths can accurately read emotions and vulnerabilities, then exploit them through manipulation, deception, gaslighting, or emotional coercion.
They may mimic affection, remorse, or love using learned scripts and superficial charm to maintain control or extract benefits, creating an illusion of intimacy without genuine emotional investment.
FAQs
- Do psychopaths have feelings of love?
Psychopaths do not experience love in the conventional, deep, empathetic, and reciprocal sense. Due to shallow affect and severely limited emotional range, any feelings they describe as “love” are typically shallow, fleeting, self-centered, or possessive. They lack the empathy, vulnerability, and genuine care required for healthy romantic attachment. - How do psychopaths see their relationships?
Psychopaths view relationships instrumentally, and often see their partners as sources of status, supply, or gratification, rather than as individuals with independent needs and feelings. Factor 2 traits, like impulsivity, irresponsibility, and poor behavioral controls, further contribute to instability, infidelity, and exploitation.
- Can a psychopath be obsessed with someone?
Yes. Psychopaths can develop intense possessive obsession, often driven by a need for control rather than emotional attachment. This may show up as stalking (online or offline), jealousy, smear campaigns, possessiveness, or attempts to damage the person’s reputation. Such an obsession can escalate and become dangerous, so the targeted individual should prioritize safety.
- Who are psychopaths attracted to?
Psychopaths are often drawn to vulnerable or empathetic individuals because they are easier to manipulate and control. They may also pursue confident, successful, or high-status people who provide status, resources, or a challenge. Ultimately, attraction is driven by what the partner can offer in terms of personal gain, excitement, or control.
- Can psychopaths love their child?
Psychopaths may form an attachment to their child, but it is usually possessive, utilitarian, or control-based rather than genuine parental love. They typically lack the deep empathy, emotional warmth, and selfless care that characterize healthy parent–child bonds. Many struggle to prioritize the child’s emotional needs over their own.nd care for the child’s well-being. It is hard for psychopaths to build a healthy parent-child bond.
- Can a psychopath be a good person?
Psychopathy significantly impairs moral reasoning due to the absence of empathy, remorse, and guilt. While some individuals with psychopathic traits (often called “successful psychopaths”) may avoid crime and function in society, their capacity for consistent prosocial behavior and genuine ethical decision-making remains limited. Being a “good person” is difficult but not impossible if they actively choose to follow moral rules despite their traits.
- Can psychopaths be depressed?
Yes, psychopaths can experience depression and other mental health issues. However, because they often have low anxiety and fear, clinical depression may present differently or be less common than in the general population. It can arise from consequences of their behavior (e.g., failed relationships, legal problems, or loss of status). Professional help is recommended.
- Can psychopaths cry?
Psychopaths can produce tears, but crying is usually shallow and does not reflect deep emotional distress. Tears may be used manipulatively — to gain sympathy, avoid consequences, or deceive others. Their displays of emotion should be evaluated carefully within context, as genuine remorse or sadness is rare.
Why Do Narcissists Cry? The Answer May Surprise You!
Final Words
In summary, while psychopaths are not entirely emotionless, their emotional capacity is quite restricted. They can mimic romantic involvement and may experience shallow affection or passion, but they lack the affective foundation needed for deep, empathetic, reciprocal romantic love.
Can two psychopaths truly fall in love?
It may seem strange, or not, but two psychopaths can fall for each other. Some psychopaths can form romantic relationships with others with similar traits. This may be due to their mutual understanding of their personalities. (Think of Bonnie And Clyde.)
In these relationships, acting without thinking, explosive rage, and dangerous antisocial behavior can lead to high attachment avoidance and worry.
Finally, romantic relationships between two psychopaths may need huge self-control and sacrifice to stop trying to outsmart each other.
√ Also Read: Quiz: Are You A Psychopath? Take A Quick Self-Check!
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