Can you make a person fall in love with you?
No, you can’t actually make someone fall in love if the act of “making someone” involves deceit. While there are many theories on how to convince or entice someone to fall in love with you, it is ultimately up to the person’s preferences. We can’t enforce love; all we can do is create an environment that fosters it.
So, how can you make someone fall in love with you, without being a creep or a stalker?
The simplest recipe is to try doing things that friends do for each other’s happiness. Routinely do things that friends would do: spend time with them, give them gifts, be of service to them without expecting anything back, encourage them, and be affectionate and caring, to let love blossom. Science backs this up (Gottman & Silver, 1999).“Friendship fuels the flames of romance because it offers the best protection against feeling adversarial toward your spouse. Happy marriages are based on a deep friendship.” — John Gottman Click To Tweet
The key to making someone fall in love with you is to be your best self and do things that would make them happy. If they see you doing those great things without putting on a show, they might like what they see, and it will be easier for them to open up to and start falling for you as well.
Love is the excitement we feel when we come face-to-face with something that is strong, clever, kind, honest, witty, or magnanimous in another person. — Alain de Botton
Why do you fear letting someone love you?
Here are some of the reasons making people fear being loved:
1. A simple reason that makes people afraid of letting someone fall in love with them is that they are not ready to commit. This irrational fear of marriage or commitment is known as gamophobia.
Fear of commitment could be because of avoidant personality disorder, also called intimacy anxiety disorder, which affects roughly 2.5% of the population.
2. A tragic past with a loved one, that they do not want to revisit, can be a vulnerable reason for people to stop letting love in. If a person has faced deep trauma in a past relationship, like being cheated upon, they may be reluctant to open up and trust someone new.
3. People with abnormal personalities, such as narcissists, are naturally inclined to reject love. Narcissists search for the perfect person to share their love with, but they never find one.
All humans have flaws, and there is no such thing as a “perfect” person to fall in love with. So, put up the effort to find someone who accepts you as you are and loves you with your imperfections.
Whatever your fears are, do not let them stop you from falling in love and having a meaningful relationship. Seek help from mental health professionals if you feel you have issues forming romantic relationships.
How to attract people likely to fall in love with you?
The attraction between two people open to falling in love starts with a sense of curiosity. Then it develops into physical, emotional, and mental attraction over many dates.
People with similar personalities attract one another, as do people with contrasting natures.
To attract another person, ultimately you have to focus on the things that the other person is attracted to. Find them out even before you make your first contact, and capitalize on those qualities. If they are the right fit, build on them.
A simple way to raise your chances of being noticed is to upgrade your physical looks and add charm to your behavior.
Grooming yourself and using friendlier body language might help you improve your physical appearance. You can change your demeanor to become overall a more pleasant and open person.Love takes continuous effort, and falling in love is only the first chapter of any couple’s love story. Click To Tweet
How to make someone fall in love with you?
When someone shows interest in you after initial attraction, and starts talking to you, use these safe methods to sway their softer feelings toward you and help love bloom.
Here are 7 ways to make someone fall in love with you:
Sit down with a notepad and make a list of the most interesting and intriguing things about yourself that you want to share. However, keep your sharing at a level that is comfortable for the person you want to fall for you.
It is critical to know how to strike the perfect balance between being too mysterious and too forthcoming. Each stage of a budding love relationship has boundaries; do not cross them.
Share with them an impressive part of your life that is unknown even to those in your closest circle.
Intriguing conversations are the magical keys to making people fall in love with you. They won’t always be holding out signs for you to know what they like to talk and hear about. It is like a treasure hunt, where you are trying to find out what they want to hear, and then giving them what they want.
Don’t say these:
- I love to write about marketing, sales, business development, and customer experience.
- I have an MBA from the University of Michigan Ross School of Business
- I love to write about the future of AI-assisted marketing.
Say these, as you look into their eyes:
- I’m a coffee fanatic. I’d love to be an expert coffee taster, exploring different regions of the world and tasting exotic varieties of coffee.
- I have an amazing parakeet who is my best friend and my biggest supporter in life. It can say a lot of inane things while maintaining eye contact.
- I write haiku.
Telling them about your intriguing life experiences and learnings can help them warm up to you and see that the two of you are compatible and a good match.
2. Be genuinely interested in what they have to say.
We are all guilty of not listening to the other person and just waiting for a chance to speak. But if you want to have a delightful conversation, you need to be genuinely interested in what they have to say.
Listening is hard work and needs sustained focus, since our minds have a natural tendency to wander.
Research by Hunsaker & Alessandra, 2008, points out that when people are listening, we can place them in one of four categories:
- marginal listener,
- evaluative listener, and
- active listener.
Each category requires a different depth of concentration and sensitivity from the listener. The highest and most effective level of listening is active listening (AL).
Active listening is when you pay close attention to what the other person is saying and do your best to not only understand, but also share their feelings.
You can practice active listening in several ways, such as nodding your head or making affirmative sounds like “uh-huh” or “I see”. You could also ask brief questions about what they are saying. It would show them you are engaged with them and care about what they are thinking in the present moment.Catch them doing something good and express your appreciation. Catch them doing a kind and generous thing, and convey your gratitude. Click To Tweet
3, Be patient and give the person time they need before pushing them into something they are not ready for.
If you’re not, you should start learning how to be patient with people right away. Others may not have the same speed of thought as you do, and they may need different timeframes to explore their options.
Every person you meet might not be ready to give in to your wishes to become a loving couple within three dates.
There are many reasons we should be patient with people before pushing them into making a decision that they are not ready for. For one, it can be difficult for people to admit that they need help in some areas of their life. This is especially true if the person has always been independent and doesn’t want anyone else’s opinion on how to live their life.
Another reason we should be patient with people before pushing them into something is that it can take time for someone to understand what they really want in life, or what kind of change would make them happy.
Sometimes, however, it is just as important not to let the person get too comfortable with the idea of not making a change.
Did you know about these 13 biases that are the most probable reasons behind your bad decisions?
4. Give them appropriate and well-timed compliments – not too many, not too few.
Compliments are an easy and effective way to make someone feel good.
A compliment can be as simple as a “You look nice today” or as complex as an “I love the way you have made your mental health website into a thriving community.”
Compliments can make people feel better about themselves and even lift their spirits. However, always make the praise come from your heart, for people can read through empty flattery.
You could try telling them that you liked the way they did something (for example, organizing a campaign to collect donations for the homeless people in your area) and you’d like to get to know them better.
You can celebrate their presence in your life by giving them small gifts, like flowers or a book. You can make them feel special by telling them you admire them for their character strengths like honesty and optimism, as much as their beauty.
Making someone feel like they are the only person who matters is a wonderful method to make them fall in love with you, but temper that expression with prudence and time.
Of course, you cannot make fun of someone else in their presence for their appearance (someone’s hair is funny-looking), their personality (they have a terrible sense of humor), and for being of a certain gender or race.
You also cannot physically threaten or act out your threat, even if you’re Will Smith trying to protect the dignity of Jada Pinkett-Smith.Do not normalize aggression and physical abuse in the name of protecting someone from bad humor. Click To Tweet
5. Smile at them whom you want to fall in love with you.
If you want to make someone fall in love with you, you just have to know how to make them smile. Not only when you are with them, but also when they are remembering you and a smile unconsciously appears on their lips.
The easiest way to make someone fall in love with you is by smiling at them. Of course, let your smiles be genuine.
Smile at them as often as you can without coming across as creepy or too desperate for their affection and approval. Consider it an act of being mindful of your body language (a smile can be an expression of happiness expressed through the whole body) instead of being conscious of what your face and mouth are doing.
If you are watching them from a distance, don’t stare (it’s bad press). It would make them uncomfortable. Moreover, if they notice you staring, they will send a warning to your social circle to avoid you.
6. Stay honest at all times with whom you want to fall for you.
This is about how to stay honest at all times with the person who you want to fall in love with you.
The first step is, to be honest about your feelings. If you aren’t sure if you love this person, it’s best to tell yourself to stop approaching them before either of you gets too invested in the relationship.
The second step is, to be honest about your intentions in the relationship. If they are not ready for a long-term commitment, and you had expected them to become fully dedicated to the relationship, it is better to ask them to let you know early on.
The third step is, to be honest about your past relationships, and why they ended. If there was a lot of cheating or abuse in these relationships, then it would also be better if you tell them this before they get too invested in the relationship.
However, in any relationship, honesty tends to work best when it is mutual. Make sure you tell them you will be truthful and that you expect them to be as well.
7. Practice empathy, kindness, and compassion.
Romantic relationships are not easy, whether it is a man or a woman. There are many things that one needs to think about in order to make a relationship work.
How to be irreplaceable to your partner is one of the most important skills you can learn. To become someone who cannot be readily replaced, try cultivating certain special qualities, like a positive mindset, psychological resilience, empathy, patience, and kindness.
To make someone fall in love with us, we need to show them they are fully worthy of the love and respect you are planning to give them. We also need to be kind, empathic, and compassionate. These qualities are the basic keys to being attractive in a way that Time cannot take away.
A study from the University of California in Berkeley found that people who were more kind and compassionate were more likely to attract a partner as well as have healthier relationships than those who were less compassionate or empathetic.
Be the type of person who they want to be with. So, if they want a kind person, you should be kind, and if they want an intellectual person, show your intelligence.
Love is more about being selfless than being selfish. It motivates us to do things for others, mainly for our loved ones, but also for strangers who need our help. Remember to start with self-love, for how you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.
Even though we’ve all heard it, do not rely too heavily on your beauty or charisma to make someone fall in love with you. When looking for long-term love, people always look past those veneers.
It is mostly about how you make them feel about you, your expectations, and your future plans, against theirs. Respect their choices; accept their decisions.
Accept the fact that they have a life apart from you. Do not try to enforce your demands of exclusivity on them.
- They might be meeting other people at the same time as you, trying to figure out the one they would be most comfortable and excited to share their future with. Accept that.
- They might be polyamorous by nature and see no reason to be “faithful” to you. Long-term monogamy is not for everyone; accept that.
- They could be secretly experiencing guilt, regret, or shame about an issue not involving you, which they do not want to share with you. It might cause you to feel alone in the relationship. However, accept their choice.
Finally, let’s wrap this up with a few highly practical actions you can take to make a person fall in love with you:
- Make sure you are giving them your full attention.
- Be extra kind and respectful to them, even when they don’t ask for it.
- Show your vulnerable side to them, which will make them feel safe enough to open up to you.
- Learn about them and their interests. Spend time together doing what they like or enjoy doing most often.
- Talk the difficult conversations. Discuss what areas of your relationship concern you. This will help both of you create a firm base of mutual trust and understanding.
- Above all, stop being fake. For finding people who will love you, “fake it till you make it” doesn’t work.
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Author Bio: Written and reviewed by Sandip Roy—a medical doctor, psychology writer, and happiness researcher. Founder and Chief Editor of The Happiness Blog. Writes on mental health, happiness, positive psychology, and philosophy (especially Stoicism).
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