— Reviewed by Dr. Sandip Roy.
What is the safest way to make someone fall in love with you?
Simple. Be someone who feels safe to be with.
- Don’t try tricking someone into falling for you by faking to be someone you’re not. That way, you won’t be able to hold on to your self-worth or that person for long.
- Don’t threaten or be violent, even if you’re Will Smith, trying to protect the dignity of your partner. A person who is violent towards others is likely to be violent towards their closest ones.
Narcissists often possess a heady mix of traits that makes them instantly attractive to potential partners. Their outward confidence, manicured charisma, and smart intelligence draw people in, especially those with low self-worth. Such relationships tend to be volatile, short-lived, and bitter.
Let’s face it: Not everyone has the looks, wealth, or influence of a social media celebrity. Most of us may have to forge love with things that are deeper, like empathy, trust-building, and psychological safety.
What else can we do? Let’s find out.
How To Safely Make Someone Fall For You
Love is the excitement we feel when we come face-to-face with something that is strong, clever, kind, honest, witty, or magnanimous in another person.
— Alain de Botton
Here is how to make someone love you:
1. Gradually deepen your relationship. Slow and steady takes you to the final line.
True love thrives on a deep sense of security and intimacy – things that take time to nurture. So, try not to love-bomb them to spark attraction; let love take root gradually.
The mere exposure effect, a psychological phenomenon, tells us that people tend to like and prefer the ones they are familiar with. Familiarity can lead to feelings of comfort and attraction, and to love.
So, make yourself more familiar. Get them to see you more. Find ways to spend more time together.
Let them feel comfortable and good when you are around. This can make them think of you first when they need to solve or share an issue.
A coffee date, a movie outing, and eating out, are great. Try novel ways, like volunteering together for a cause you both care about. Take a trip to a museum or art gallery. Go rock-climbing together.
- [Have you ever felt utterly smitten by someone, feeling as if you can’t stop thinking about them, while they don’t feel the same way? That could be limerence (not love), which interestingly has four stages.]
2. Tell them unique, unknown, and funny facts about yourself.
A great way to make someone fall in love with you: Tell them about your greatest wins.
What makes a person fascinating are the stories of how they handled their struggles to reach their victories. They make for the best stories of our life.
Sharing builds bonding. Knowing about your life’s unique ups and downs may nudge them to warm up to the ‘you before you met them’, and explore a match of your future you’s.
Share with them your emotional highs and lows. They are powerful ways to build bonds of attachment.
Those conversations that expose our vulnerabilities and flaws, and bring out our quiet strengths and humanness, let them know you trust them.
Tell them things about yourself that most people don’t know. So they can feel more exclusive, and the more preferred one in your life.
People will fall in love with you if you can hold their attention long enough. To do so, tell them stories, balancing mystery against predictability.
And use that occasional humor.
My parakeet is my second mom. It tells me a lot of helpful stuff to keep me safe. It said this morning, “Don’t trip on the stairs on your way out.”
3. Know your limits. Do not cross their boundaries.
Love evolves: from a sense of familiarity, to liking and infatuation, to romance and preferred companionship, and finally to long-term consummate love.
Each stage of an evolving love relationship has boundaries; do not cross them.
Always respect their seven boundaries.
Enthusiasm is fantastic, but coming on too strong can backfire. Apologize and back off if they think you’re being rude.
They may not always hold up signs to indicate what they don’t want to talk or hear about. Keep it simple; just ask their permission before sharing something with them.
Love takes continuous effort, and falling in love is only the first chapter of any love story.
4. Listen actively, with genuine curiosity, and without prejudice.
Here’s how to make them like you: Listen to them with attention and intention.
Good talks relax us. For relaxing talks, we need the other person to listen to us with patience and interest.
But people don’t listen; they wait for a chance to insert their opinions or ideas. Because their “crazy busy lives” have so little time to listen.
Researchers Hunsaker & Alessandra (2008) point out that when people are listening, we can place them in one of four categories:
- Non-listener,
- Marginal listener,
- Evaluative listener, and
- Active listener.
Each category requires a different depth of concentration and sensitivity. The highest and most effective level of listening is active listening (AL).
Active listening is when you pay close attention to what the other person is saying and do your best to understand and share their feelings.
Nod your head, make affirmative sounds like “uh-huh” or “I see”, and ask little questions.
5. Do things for them that they appreciate, and say “thanks” often.
People won’t like you much in person if you don’t value them.
Appreciation shows you take them as a unique and special person in your life, which creates a love connection. So, tell them often what you admire in them, other than their physical beauty.
Compliments can raise people’s self-esteem and lift their spirits. People can see through empty flattery, so always give compliments from the heart.
- Celebrate their presence in your life. Give them small gifts, like a book.
- Make them feel special. Admire their character strengths like honesty and optimism, as much as their beauty.
- Tell them that you liked the way they did something (like organizing a campaign to collect donations for homeless people).
Gratitude shows you care for them. Say “thank you” for the little things they do for you.
On your part, do those little things that count.
Catch them doing something good and express your appreciation. Catch them doing a kind and generous thing, and convey your gratitude.
6. Patience is A Virtue: Don’t push them into anything they aren’t ready for.
Don’t expect them to be your love partner after three dates.
Here’s how to get someone to love you for what you are: Allow them to know you more completely, not just your best side.
Be patient. Don’t push them to make a decision they aren’t yet ready to make. They may need time to weigh their options before finalizing that you are the right one.
Perhaps they have always been self-sufficient and have never sought anyone’s advice on how to spend their lives.
Can you make a positive difference in their life? It may be hard for them to tell you that they care about you, but not as much as you want.
Before you try to convince someone to fall in love with you, remember that it is ultimately up to their preferences. Never force them to change themselves for you.
7. Embrace Your Authenticity: Be your genuine self who’s always improving.
Don’t fake your identity to impress them.
Be your true, genuine, and authentic self with them. When you’re authentic, you come across as confident and self-assured, which can be an attractive feature.
When you are in your true colors, you attract the right person who loves you for who you are.
Don’t sacrifice self-care at the altar of love.
Don’t get so caught up in winning their approval that you abandon your own needs. Instead, be your true self and ask them to be their true selves.
Be proud of who you are, but never stop improving yourself.
Don’t try to make them fall for someone you are not. Instead, focus on being the best version of yourself.
8. Actions Speak Louder Than Words: Use body language to make them fall for you.
Body language is a powerful tool for creating mutual attraction, emotional connection, and trust in ways that words cannot.
You may not always find the right words, and words may not be enough to get them interested. But your actions will confirm your intentions.
A gentle, non-intimate touch, a long gaze into their eyes, or a slightly-longer hug can say it wordlessly.
And how do you make someone fall in love with you without saying a word? Smile!
Smile when you see them. And learn how to make them smile.
If you have charmed them to fall for you, they will smile not only when you are with them, but also when they are remembering you.
Smile at them as often as you can without coming across as creepy or too desperate for their affection and approval. Of course, let your smiles be genuine.
Consider it an act of being mindful of your body language (a smile can be an expression of happiness expressed via the whole body) instead of being conscious of what your face and mouth are doing.
If you are watching them from a distance, don’t stare (it’s bad press). It would make them uncomfortable. Moreover, if they notice you staring, they will send a warning to your social circle to avoid you.
9. Stay honest at all times with whom you want to fall for you.
Here’s how to make a person fall in love with you: Always stay honest with them, whether they are around or not.
This is about how to stay honest at all times with the person who you want to fall in love with you.
- The first step is, to be honest about your feelings. If you aren’t sure if you love this person, it’s best to tell yourself to stop approaching them before either of you gets too invested in the relationship.
- The second step is, to be honest about your intentions in the relationship. If they are not ready for a long-term commitment, and you had expected them to become fully dedicated to the relationship, it is better to ask them to let you know early on.
- The third step is, to be honest about your past relationships, and why they ended. If there was a lot of cheating or abuse in these relationships, then it would also be better if you tell them this before they get too invested in the relationship.
However, in any relationship, honesty tends to work best when it is mutual. Make sure you tell them you will be truthful and that you expect them to be as well.
10. Practice empathy, kindness, and compassion.
Here’s how to make people fall in love with you: Be kind, empathic, and compassionate.
- Kindness is being friendly and considerate.
- Empathy is understanding another’s feelings.
- Compassion is acting to relieve the suffering of others.
Romantic relationships are not easy. There are many things that one needs to think about in order to make a relationship work.
How to be irreplaceable to your partner is one of the most important skills to learn.
To become someone who cannot be readily replaced, try cultivating special qualities, like a positive mindset, mental resilience, empathy, patience, and kindness.
We need to be kind, empathic, and compassionate. These qualities are the basic keys to being attractive in a way that Time cannot take away.
To make someone fall in love, show them that you are worthy of the love and respect you are asking from them.
Be the type of person they want to be with.
The “Reciprocity principle” suggests that people like others who like them, or, as Newcomb (1956) summarized, ‘‘attraction breeds attraction.’’
This research suggests that the strongest predictor of attraction for both sexes was their partners’ physical attractiveness.
So, if they want a kind person, you should be kind, and if they want an intellectual person, show your intelligence.
Love is more about being selfless than being selfish. It motivates us to do things for others, mainly for our loved ones, but also for strangers who need our help.
Remember to start with self-love, for how you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.
How to make someone fall in love with you without them knowing?
- Deepen Intimacy: Gradually build emotional closeness to foster trust.
- Body Language: Use non-verbal cues to express interest and comfort.
- Shared Adventures: Step out of your comfort zones together for bonding.
- Be Yourself: Maintain your individuality while being part of a couple.
- Understand Needs: Pay attention to what they require emotionally and physically.
- Small Kindness: Offer gestures that show you care, like making coffee.
- Be Patient: Love takes time to grow; don’t rush it.
- Fix Yourself: Work on your own issues before diving into a relationship.
- Be Your Best: Show your most authentic and best self.
- Shared Interests: Engage in activities that they love.
- Listen Up: Give them your full attention when they speak.
- Feel Validated: Make them feel seen and understood.
- Eye Communication: Use eye contact to convey feelings.
- Text Smartly: Don’t reply instantly to texts; keep some mystery.
- Show Care: Act interested but not overly eager.
- Be Trustworthy: Prove you’re reliable and genuinely care.
- Quality Time: Spend meaningful moments together, not just time.
- Strong Communication: Keep the lines of communication open and honest.
- Physical Touch: Engage in appropriate and comforting physical contact.
- Show Appreciation: Make them feel valued and important.
- Social Approval: Consider the influence and norms of your social circle.
- Be Mysterious: Maintain some level of mystery to keep things interesting.
- Be Ready: Make sure you’re both prepared for a romantic relationship.
- Alone Time: Find opportunities to be alone and connect deeply.
- Satisfy Needs: Be the person who meets their emotional and physical needs.
How to make someone fall in love with you through text?
1. Start Slow: Begin with a casual “Hey, how’s your day going?”
2. Be Genuine: Text something like, “I saw this and thought of what you told me the other day.”
3. Use Humor: Send a joke, “Why did the scarecrow win an award?” The answer in the next text: Because he was outstanding in his field!
4. Ask Questions: Try, “What’re your all-time favorite 5 movies?”
5. Be Flirty: Text, “You looked amazing today, by the way.”
6. Be Mysterious: Text, “Guess what I’m thinking?”
7. Use Emojis: Add a wink 😉 or a heart ❤️ to lighten the mood.
8. Be Positive: Say, “You’re going to rock that presentation tomorrow!”
9. Share Interests: Text, “I’m reading this book and it’s totally you.”
10. Voice Notes: Send a quick “Miss hearing your voice.”
11. Text Timing: Wait a bit and then reply, “Sorry, was caught up. What’s up?”
12. Use Memes: Send a funny meme with, “This is so us!”
13. Be Complimentary: Compliments always win. Say, “You always know how to make me smile.”
14. Show Empathy: Text, “I’m here for you, no matter what.”
15. Express Freely: Text, “I love how we can talk about anything.”
16. Night Texts: End with, “Sweet dreams, talk tomorrow.” Maintain decency.
17. Avoid Drunk Texting: No late-night, “Heyyy, what’s uppp?” Maintain decency.
18. Be Considerate: Text, “Is now a good time to chat?”
19. Don’t Spam: Avoid sending 10 texts in a row, “So, what are you doing?”
20. Show All Sides: Text, “Had a rough day, but I’m okay.”
FAQs
How can you make someone fall in love with you without being a creep or a stalker?
1. Never try to entice them if you intend to use them and discard them.
2, If they don’t feel safe around you, don’t be around them.
3. Respect their choices and accept their decisions.
4. Learn to handle rejections and “No’s.”How to make someone fall in love with you long distance?
Here’s how to get someone to fall in love with you over long distance:
1. Keep open the lines of Regular Communication, but don’t smother them.
2. Use Video Calls, like FaceTime or Zoom, to maintain face-to-face connection.
3. Plan an unexpected Surprise Visit when it’s possible for you and them.
4. Mail small tokens of affection and Send Gifts like handcrafted little things.
5. Openly discuss feelings and concerns. Be Honest but don’t be rude.
6. Express your Trust For Each Other and avoid unnecessary jealousy or suspicion.
7. Share Experiences, like watching the same movie at the same time (Netflix share) and discussing it in real-time.
8. Make Future Plans, and keep talking about closing the distance eventually.
9. Encourage each other’s individual goals and Be Supportive of their pursuits.
10. Celebrate Your Relationship Milestones, like taking time out for anniversaries and other important dates, even if online.How to make someone fall for you and likely to be in love?
Relationships start with a mutual curiosity and progress to emotional, mental, and physical attraction. To increase attraction, find qualities they like, and adjust your looks and behavior. Modify your beliefs and outlook to become more likable.
How to make someone fall in love with you with psychology?
Robert Sternberg, who developed the Triangular Theory of Love, said the three components that define all love relationships are:
Intimacy – feelings of closeness, connectedness, and bondedness.
Passion – the drive that leads to romance, physical attraction, and physical intimacy.
Commitment – the decision to love a certain other, and to commit to maintaining that love.If your interest in them is genuine and you want to foster feelings of intimacy, passion, and commitment, make someone love you.
“Love is not about finding the perfect person, but creating the perfect moments with the imperfect person you love.”
– Jodi Picoult
Final Words
Do not rely too much on your beauty or charm to make someone fall in love with you. A long-term relationship always sees past those veneers.
Finally, don’t sweep contentious issues in your budding relationship under the rug.
Talk the difficult conversations.
Seek advice from mental health experts if you persistently have issues forming romantic relationships.
√ Please share it with someone if you found this helpful.
√ Also Read:
- Understand Emotional Permanence, Build Stable Relationships
- Unrequited Limerence: The Pain of Unreturned Obsessive Love
- Ghoster’s Love: Can A Person Ghost You And Still Love You?
- Decoding Love: Signs That A Fearful Avoidant Loves You
- This Is How You Tell An Avoidant You Love Them.
• Our Story!