What is the safest way to make someone fall in love with you?
Simple. Be someone who feels safe to be with.
- Don’t try to trick or gaslight them by faking to be someone else. If you do, you will not be able to keep that person in love with you for long.
- Don’t threaten or be violent, even if you’re Will Smith trying to protect the dignity of your partner. A person violent toward one is likely to be violent toward others.
Love is a powerful emotion that goes beyond attraction and lust. To get someone to love you, let them trust you enough to feel a desire to emotionally attach to you.
Love is the excitement we feel when we come face-to-face with something that is strong, clever, kind, honest, witty, or magnanimous in another person. — Alain de Botton
How to make someone fall in love with you the safe way?
Robert Sternberg, who developed the Triangular Theory of Love, said the three components that define all love relationships are:
- Intimacy – feelings of closeness, connectedness, and bondedness.
- Passion – the drive that leads to romance, physical attraction, and physical intimacy.
- Commitment – the decision to love a certain other, and to commit to maintaining that love.
If your interest in them is genuine and you want to foster feelings of intimacy, passion, and commitment, here are some effective ways to make them fall in love with you:
1. Slow and Steady Wins the Race: Deepen your intimacy gradually.
Loving is experiencing a deep sense of intimacy and closeness with a certain someone.
So, to spark the fire of love between you and another person, gradually deepen your connection by spending time together and sharing your personal life.
Conversations that expose our vulnerabilities and flaws, while letting the other person know that you trust and like them, are powerful ways to build a loving connection.
[Have you ever been utterly smitten by someone, feeling as if you’re on cloud nine and unable to stop thinking about them? That’s limerence, which interestingly has four stages.]
2. Sharing is Caring: Tell them unique, unknown, and funny facts about yourself.
Here’s how to make someone fall in love with you: Tell them about your greatest wins in life.
What makes a person intriguing and interesting are their best triumphs. Our victories over our struggles make for the best stories of our life.
Most people don’t know these facts about you. Share them with the person you wish to fall in love with.
People will fall in love with you if you have interesting talks. Balance mystery against predictability. Use humor.
“My parakeet is my biggest supporter. It tells me a lot of meaningless stuff to boost my morale.”
Your unique life experiences may nudge them to warm up to you and explore whether you two are compatible.
3. Know Your Limits: Do not cross their physical or psychological boundaries.
Love evolves over time, going through liking, infatuation, romance, companionship, and finally long-term consummate love.
Each stage of an evolving love relationship has boundaries; do not cross them.
They may not always hold up signs to indicate what they don’t want to talk or hear about. Keep it simple; just ask their permission before sharing something with them.
Love takes continuous effort, and falling in love is only the first chapter of any love story.
4. Listen Actively: Listen to them with genuine curiosity and without prejudice.
Here’s how to make them like you: Listen to them with attention and intention.
Good talks relax us. For relaxing talks, we need the other person to listen to us with patience and interest.
But people don’t listen; they wait for a chance to insert their opinions or ideas. Because their “crazy busy lives” have so little time to listen.
Researchers Hunsaker & Alessandra (2008) point out that when people are listening, we can place them in one of four categories:
- Non-listener,
- Marginal listener,
- Evaluative listener, and
- Active listener.
Each category requires a different depth of concentration and sensitivity. The highest and most effective level of listening is active listening (AL).
Active listening is when you pay close attention to what the other person is saying and do your best to understand and share their feelings.
Nod your head, make affirmative sounds like “uh-huh” or “I see”, and ask little questions.
5. Gratitude and Appreciation Are The Keys: Do things and say Thanks often.
People won’t like you much in person if you don’t value them.
Appreciation shows you take them as a unique and special person in your life, which creates a love connection. So, tell them often what you admire in them, other than their physical beauty.
Compliments can raise people’s self-esteem and lift their spirits. People can see through empty flattery, so always give compliments from the heart.
- Celebrate their presence in your life. Give them small gifts, like a book.
- Make them feel special. Admire their character strengths like honesty and optimism, as much as their beauty.
- Tell them that you liked the way they did something (like organizing a campaign to collect donations for homeless people).
Gratitude shows you care for them. Say “thank you” for the little things they do for you.
On your part, do those little things that count.
Catch them doing something good and express your appreciation. Catch them doing a kind and generous thing, and convey your gratitude.
6. Patience is A Virtue: Don’t push them into anything they aren’t ready for.
Don’t expect them to be your love partner after three dates.
Here’s how to get someone to love you for what you are: Allow them to know you more completely, not just your best side.
Be patient. Don’t push them to make a decision they aren’t yet ready to make. They may need time to weigh their options before finalizing that you are the right one.
Perhaps they have always been self-sufficient and have never sought anyone’s advice on how to spend their lives.
Can you make a positive difference in their life? It may be hard for them to tell you that they care about you, but not as much as you want.
Before you try to convince someone to fall in love with you, remember that it is ultimately up to their preferences. Never force them to change themselves for you.
Learn these 13 biases that are the most probable reasons behind your bad decisions.
7. Embrace Your Authenticity: Be your genuine self who’s always improving.
Don’t fake your identity to impress them.
Be your true, genuine, and authentic self with them. When you’re authentic, you come across as confident and self-assured, which can be an attractive feature.
When you are in your true colors, you attract the right person who loves you for who you are.
Don’t sacrifice self-care at the altar of love.
Don’t get so caught up in winning their approval that you abandon your own needs. Instead, be your true self and ask them to be their true selves.
Be proud of who you are, but never stop improving yourself.
Don’t try to make them fall for someone you are not. Instead, focus on being the best version of yourself.
8. Actions Speak Louder Than Words: Use body language to make them fall for you.
Body language is a powerful tool for creating mutual attraction, emotional connection, and trust in ways that words cannot.
You may not always find the right words, and words may not be enough to get them interested. But your actions will confirm your intentions.
A gentle, non-intimate touch, a long gaze into their eyes, or a slightly-longer hug can say it wordlessly.
And how do you make someone fall in love with you without saying a word? Smile!
Smile when you see them. And learn how to make them smile.
If you have charmed them to fall for you, they will smile not only when you are with them, but also when they are remembering you.
Smile at them as often as you can without coming across as creepy or too desperate for their affection and approval. Of course, let your smiles be genuine.
Consider it an act of being mindful of your body language (a smile can be an expression of happiness expressed via the whole body) instead of being conscious of what your face and mouth are doing.
If you are watching them from a distance, don’t stare (it’s bad press). It would make them uncomfortable. Moreover, if they notice you staring, they will send a warning to your social circle to avoid you.
9. Stay honest at all times with whom you want to fall for you.
Here’s how to make a person fall in love with you: Always stay honest with them, whether they are around or not.
This is about how to stay honest at all times with the person who you want to fall in love with you.
- The first step is, to be honest about your feelings. If you aren’t sure if you love this person, it’s best to tell yourself to stop approaching them before either of you gets too invested in the relationship.
- The second step is, to be honest about your intentions in the relationship. If they are not ready for a long-term commitment, and you had expected them to become fully dedicated to the relationship, it is better to ask them to let you know early on.
- The third step is, to be honest about your past relationships, and why they ended. If there was a lot of cheating or abuse in these relationships, then it would also be better if you tell them this before they get too invested in the relationship.
However, in any relationship, honesty tends to work best when it is mutual. Make sure you tell them you will be truthful and that you expect them to be as well.
10. Practice empathy, kindness, and compassion.
Here’s how to make people fall in love with you: Be kind, empathic, and compassionate.
- Kindness is being friendly and considerate.
- Empathy is understanding another’s feelings.
- Compassion is acting to relieve the suffering of others.
Romantic relationships are not easy. There are many things that one needs to think about in order to make a relationship work.
How to be irreplaceable to your partner is one of the most important skills to learn.
To become someone who cannot be readily replaced, try cultivating special qualities, like a positive mindset, mental resilience, empathy, patience, and kindness.
We need to be kind, empathic, and compassionate. These qualities are the basic keys to being attractive in a way that Time cannot take away.
To make someone fall in love, show them that you are worthy of the love and respect you are asking from them.
Be the type of person they want to be with.
The “Reciprocity principle” suggests that people like others who like them, or, as Newcomb (1956) summarized, ‘‘attraction breeds attraction.’’ This research suggests that the strongest predictor of attraction for both sexes was their partners’ physical attractiveness.
So, if they want a kind person, you should be kind, and if they want an intellectual person, show your intelligence.
Love is more about being selfless than being selfish. It motivates us to do things for others, mainly for our loved ones, but also for strangers who need our help.
Remember to start with self-love, for how you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.
How to attract people likely to fall in love with you?
Relationships start with a mutual curiosity and progress to emotional, mental, and physical attraction. To increase attraction, find qualities they like, and adjust your looks and behavior. Modify your beliefs and outlook to become more likable.
How can you make someone fall in love with you, without being a creep or a stalker?
1. Never try to entice them if you intend to use and discard them.
2, If they don’t feel safe around you, don’t be around them.
3. Respect their choices and accept their decisions.
4. Learn to handle rejections and “No’s.”
Final Words
Do not rely too much on your beauty or charm to make someone fall in love with you. A long-term relationship always sees past those veneers.
Finally, don’t sweep contentious issues in your budding relationship under the rug.
Talk the difficult conversations.
Seek advice from mental health experts if you persistently have issues forming romantic relationships.
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Author Bio: Written and reviewed by Sandip Roy — a medical doctor, psychology writer, and happiness researcher, who writes on mental well-being, happiness, positive psychology, and philosophy (especially Stoicism).
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