10 Facts About Narcissistic Love: Can A Narcissist Love?

Are you getting to know a narcissistic person and often thinking, “Are they putting on a show of love?”

Loving a narcissist can be frustrating — you keep doubting their love for you.

They may shower you with “I love yous,” but you keep feeling something is off. And you often wonder, “Can narcissists love truly?”

Get answers to all your big questions on a narcissistic love relationship.

Can Narcissists Love?

Narcissists can show affection, but their love is usually based on conditions. They often see relationships as transactions and use love to get validation, praise, and servitude. Their love is pretentious, egocentric, dominating, manipulative, and possessive, while true love is built on respect, generosity, and concern.

So, while a narcissist can have romantic feelings and show affectionate gestures, their version of love is unhealthy and unauthentic.

Can A Narcissist Fall In Love With You?

A narcissist can appear, claim, and behave like being in love with you, and even believe they are in love, but it is not true love. Their entitled egos demand praise and validation from you to keep up their show of affection. Their conditional love for you often lacks the generous spirit of giving, caring, and sacrifice.

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) has three hallmark traits: inflated self-importance, a constant need for praise, and a lack of empathy. They can fall for you, but your falling for them is almost always a bad idea.

“A narcissist in a relationship will change the rules and expectations constantly, making it impossible for you to keep up.”

7 Reasons Why Narcissists Can’t Truly Love

Here is why a love relationship with a narcissist is unlikely to be true love:

1. A narcissist’s love is one-directional.

Narcissists crave love, but their love is one-directional, flowing only to them. Their show of love is to get your love in return. Unlike a “give more than take” kind of love, theirs is a “take and only take” kind.

2. Their love is transactional love.

Narcissists expect you to put their needs first. They will give you love as long as you give them their validation. It’s difficult to romance them since they constantly belittle you for “disrespecting” them.

3. They crave to boost their self-esteem (ego).

Narcissists use their “love” as a tool to bind you in the relationship and boost their ego. Their high self-importance and emotional shallowness prevent them from making the genuine connections vital for a good and long-lasting relationship.

4. Narcissists lack empathy and compassion.

Narcissists struggle to understand other people’s feelings and emotions. Since they are unable to feel the pains of others, it is difficult for them to build empathy-based bonds.

5. Narcissists are attention-hungry people.

Narcissists put their own egos above their partner’s well-being. Their desperate craving for attention, admiration, and validation causes them to disregard their partner’s needs and problems.

6. They are always trying to manipulate you.

Narcissists use love bombing to lure you into a relationship by pretending to be in love with you. Then they manipulate and gaslight you to control and dominate you, making it challenging to form a healthy and equal partnership.

7. Emotional intimacy is hard for narcissists.

Narcissists wear masks and crave deep emotional connections, but fear showing their vulnerable side, resulting in only surface-level relationships devoid of emotional intimacy.

10 Facts About Narcissistic Love

1. Can narcissists love their child? Narcissists may love their children, but this love is often conditional and based on the child meeting the narcissist’s expectations.
2. Can narcissists love animals? Narcissists may show affection towards animals, but it is typically conditional and self-serving. They may harm pets.
3. Can narcissists love another narcissist? Some narcissists may form relationships with other narcissists, but it’s likely to be a volatile and competitive dynamic.
4. Can a narcissist fall in love permanently? Narcissists usually cannot love you for long since they understand love as a superficial and conditional interaction.
5. When does a narcissist know you love him? A narcissist knows that you love them when they feel they can manipulate and control you into providing them with the admiration and attention they crave.
6. How do you tell if a narcissist loves you? Narcissists usually show their love by showering you with attention and gifts, idealizing you, and mirroring your interests and behaviors.
7. Can narcissists love their parents? Narcissists may have a complex relationship with their parents, either idolizing or resenting them.
8. Do narcissists love their mothers? Narcissists often have a complicated relationship with their mothers, either putting them on a pedestal or feeling intense resentment towards them.
9. Can a narcissist ever have a relationship that is healthy? A narcissist can have a successful relationship if they work hard, go to therapy, and get social support to learn the skills for a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
10. Can narcissists be cured? No, unless the narcissist is in therapy, they cannot behave like normal people. Your best bet is to avoid getting into a destructive relationship with them.

12 Signs That You Are Falling For A Narcissist

Narcissists lure you in with charm and charisma but then devolve into their trademark narcissistic abuse cycle.

Here are twelve signs that you are falling for a narcissist:

1. They are incredibly well-behaved in the early stages of romance and go to great lengths to impress you.
2. They mimic your positive behaviors and expressions to manipulate you into believing they are likable.
3. They have a lot of confidence in their abilities and love to be praised, often showering you with attention and gifts to earn your admiration.
4. They do not take criticism or negative feedback well and may give a blank look when corrected.
5. They are egocentric, arrogant, and exploitative, showing contempt for those they perceive as socially inferior. They often yell at others and can be harmful to your pets.
6. They do not have many long-term friends, as people tend to avoid them. They may also take advantage of others to achieve their goals.
7. They have a sense of entitlement and expect special treatment from others, including unreasonable levels of respect, love, care, and attention.
8. They are preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, beauty, or ideal love, believing they are special and unique.
9. They crave constant admiration and expect you to praise them every time you talk to them.
10. They rarely feel guilt, remorse, or regret after hurting or abusing others.
11. They do not entirely trust you and are always on the lookout for signs of betrayal, putting your trustworthiness to the test.
12. They make excuses for their weird behaviors, often blaming you for their actions.

What happens when a narcissist falls in love?

How to know when a narcissist is falling for you? How do they show their love?

Warning: A narcissist wants you in their life to secure your love, manipulate you into validating them, and inflate their ego. Look out for red flags like a lack of empathy or a constant need for praise.

Here are some specific love-behaviors of a narcissist:

1. They try to win you over with grand gestures, intense flattery, and excessive attention.
2. They show extreme eagerness to spend time with you and lavish you with expensive gifts.
3. They present themselves as wealthy and successful people who can meet all your material needs.
4. They often boast about their qualities and achievements and are often given to humble-bragging.
5. They do not support you during your difficult times and may belittle your successes and awards.
6. They can be very competitive, making you feel bad about yourself if you’re in the same field as them.
7. They view you as a means to satisfy their entitlement since their relationships revolve around them.
8. You may find it hard to end your relationship with them because they instill a neediness in you that is known as narcissistic codependency.

A narcissist in love can make you think, “He has followed me across three continents to gift me a Gucci and a Rolex. I’d be a fool to turn him down.” With that, you are one step deeper into their world of abuse.

Moreover, it is often painful to choose between staying and leaving them. It is so because they keep you tied in a trauma bond, which they create through occasional gestures of love in between abusive behavior.

“A narcissist in love is truly amazing, until it isn’t. At some point, they will conflict entirely. You cannot love the way that they love, and they cannot love the way you do.”

— PHILLIP JOHNSON, QUORA

Final Words

Narcissists and people with high levels of empathy (popularly called empaths) have a “fatal attraction” to each other.

Such relationships seem mutually compatible. The narcissist provides security to the insecure empath while the empath boosts the narcissist’s low self-esteem.

So, can a narcissist fall in love with an empath? No again, not in the way we perceive love.

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Author Bio: Written and reviewed by Sandip Roy — a medical doctor, psychology writer, and happiness researcher, who writes on mental well-being, happiness, positive psychology, and philosophy (especially Stoicism).

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