One of the signs of a female narcissist is her enchantress persona, coupled with self-bragging and trashing others, all while living inside her own bubble.
The narcissist woman loves positive attention, which makes her easy to spot. She is all over TikTok and Reels, pouting, dancing, or slow-mo catwalking in exotic places. But beware, she decimates those who criticize her.
The female narcissist is a high-maintenance, attention-seeking, charmer who can be rude and obnoxious. She can say things that can disturb you emotionally for days on end. However, her allure and wit are so hypnotizing that you will forgive her even without her asking.
Campbell and his colleagues were the first to study narcissism back in 2002. Since then, the last 20 years have seen a spike in narcissism research. We now have tools to measure Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and see how they act in specific situations.
Let’s delve into the realm of dark psychology to unearth the signs of a female narcissist.
7 Signs of A Female Narcissist: Dark Psyche of A Narcissist Woman
Female narcissists complain about how the world hasn’t given them what they deserve while having no empathy for those who are less fortunate.
- A woman narcissist in a close relationship can make you lose your mental sanity and peace.
- They live in their self-created worlds and can’t really empathize with someone else than themselves.
- The narcissistic woman you love cannot really love you back, and all love in the relationship goes to them.
Here are seven signs of a female narcissist:
1. Make Excellent First Impressions.
A woman narcissist can be irresistibly charming when you first see her.
Narcissistic women, especially the grandiose types, can look drop-dead gorgeous even when they are just waking up. One look and you are trapped in their Medusa-like charms.
She will most likely be an extrovert entertaining a small group of people who will be so engrossed in her talks that they will have forgotten about the dinner.
Narcissists make great first impressions with people they meet for the first few times.
Back & colleagues found that obvious narcissistic behaviors include a charming smile, self-assured body movements, and upright body posture.
“Narcissists are popular at zero acquaintance.”– Back, Schmukle & Egloff (2010)
In 2008, Vazire and the team found that narcissists associate with attractive physical appearance and are more likely to wear expensive clothes and present a neat and tidy appearance.
And in 2010, Holtzman and Strube found evidence suggesting narcissists are more attractive than the average person.
2. Are Bad As Long-Time Partners.
It takes about two weeks to discover that the alluring woman you’re going out with is a selfish vixen.
In 1996, Murray & Holmes found that narcissists are more likely to have conflicts in their long-term relationships with coworkers, friends, and romantic partners.
In 1998, psychologist Delroy Paulhus observed that people found narcissists likable, well-adjusted, and competent on the first meeting.
However, after 7 weeks, people seem to have unmasked them and were rating them negatively.
And in 2003, Baumeister & Campbell found that they frequently alienate others in the long run.
Not surprisingly, Campbell, Rudich, and Sedikides (2002) found that narcissists are more likely than non-narcissists to be unfaithful and cheat on you in a relationship.
3. Are Impulsive Flirts and Habitual Cheaters.
Woman narcissists are often habitual cheaters.
If caught, they would deny completely deny everything, leaving you wondering for weeks and months if you really saw her cheating on you or if your mind was playing tricks on you.
And if you confront them with irrefutable evidence, they put the entire blame on you for “making them cheat” on you.
The reason, they crave and thrive on attention — and the more people praising them, the merrier it is.
Narcissists thrive on attention. However, it is usually positive attention that they seek, and they are in a hurry to obtain it.
“I like to be the center of attention. Let me show how it’s done.”— Any narcissist woman
Of course, if they expect to receive negative attention or no attention (since they excel at sensing the mood of a room), they may simply leave the place quietly.
In 2006, Vazire & Funder found that narcissists tend to be impulsive and seek short-term gains.
Bushman, Bonacci, van Dijk, & Baumeister, 2003, found that narcissists were somewhat more likely to have sexually coercive tendencies.
They want to get physically intimate sooner than normal.
Holtzman and Strube argue that this could be because narcissists recognize they would be disliked in the long run, hence they tend to have short-term mating patterns, which may have molded narcissism over evolutionary time.
4. Exaggerate Their Personal Capabilities And Worth.
While all of us generally like to see ourselves in a positive light, narcissists have unrealistic ideas about themselves. A typical woman narcissist would say things like:
“I bring life to a party. All know that I am the centerpiece of attraction.”
“I know I am good because everybody keeps telling me so.”
“I have a million followers. How many do you have?”
“I have a natural talent for influencing people.”
“I can usually talk my way out of anything.”
A narcissistic woman will overplay her talents and never miss a chance to show she knows more than you.
This self-enhancement act motivates them to feel good about themselves and to maintain self-esteem.
Research suggests there are 2 types of self-enhancers — moralistic and egoistic. Narcissists are egoistic ones.
However, narcissistic women do not exaggerate their abilities to impress you; they truly believe they are superior to you.
Self-deception is a part of narcissistic behavior. In that sense, narcissists are not lying about their superior abilities.
5. Swear More And Behave More Rudely.
Narcissists use more swear words and anger words in their daily conversations.
They also argue more. The swearing and arguing behavior, however, is more common in male narcissists.
Research by Holtzman and Vazire found that “narcissism correlated with greater sexual language use. This relationship was similar in magnitude for both men and women, and was strong for the exploitativeness or entitlement and leadership or authority facets.”
Surprisingly, the authors surmise:
“It is possible that sexual language use is a manifestation of (or simply bolsters) the proposed evolutionary function of narcissism: short-term reproduction.”
6. React Negatively To Any Criticism or Feedback.
Female narcissists cannot accept any criticism as feedback.
If you tell them what’s wrong with their behavior, they will hate you and insult you for doing that. “You always bring me down. It’s in your nature.”
And if they asked for your opinion, then you are as good as standing as a target in front of a loose cannon.
“Do I look fat?”
The woman narcissist who posed the question above may attack you viciously if you responded with a “Yes.”
In 2003, Baumeister and colleagues found that narcissists were more likely to bully others. They may also respond very negatively to criticism.
Surprisingly, narcissists seem to recognize the “narcissistic” parts of their behaviors, despite engaging in such behaviors, as pointed out by Carlson, Vazire, & Oltmanns in 2011.
So, in all likelihood, a narcissistic woman you are close to will be aware of her behaviors that others find obnoxious.
And they can be frankly honest about it.
“I realize I’m a jerk at times. I am also my worst critic, because it hurts less when I criticize myself than when others do.”
7. Unwilling To Change For The Better.
If you’re hanging with them in the hope that they will change, you are living in a delusion. They won’t change for you or anyone else.
While they are aware of their flaws, narcissistic women do not want or even wish to improve.
First, they will attack your ideas about them changing for the better.
Second, they will never agree to seriously evaluate themselves. They know that if they analyze themselves, they might be forced to change.
It is significantly easier for them to sustain their negative behavior and protect themselves from anyone who might harm their low self-esteem.
The best person to motivate her to change her behaviors so that she is less irritating and toxic to others is her mental health therapist, not you.
10 (Culturally Hidden) Signs of A Narcissist Woman
In our modern society, many signs of a narcissistic woman are seen as commonplace behaviors. It makes these seemingly normal signs less likely to be critically examined, hiding their potentially damaging nature.
- She is quick and skilled at switching her roles to appear as a victim.
- She claims that everyone else is envious/jealous of her and intends to rob her.
- She can be materialistic and treat you well as long as you can buy her expensive stuff.
- She can rightfully withhold intimacy as punishment for not being as obedient as she wants.
- She can talk mostly about herself and her boundaries and can refuse to respect your boundaries.
- She can feel indifferent or pretend to be upset about your hardships, as she enjoys your suffering.
- Her sensitivity to criticism is very high, and she does not tolerate even the most minor annoyances.
- She can make you dependent on her, insult you both privately and publicly, to keep you on a leash.
- She can ask you to reveal your secrets and freely use them against you if they lose control over you.
- She can blame you for her mistakes and criticism from others while having microaggressions for you.
What creates a female narcissist?
A typical narcissist is often the result of arrested emotional development. Experts believe that when the evolution of empathy remains incomplete in a child, mostly because of parental neglect or abuse, narcissistic traits emerge in adulthood.
A tough childhood can make anyone of any gender a narcissist. So, a female narcissist is not much different from a male narcissist.
How does a female narcissist behave in a relationship?
Narcissists typically struggle to genuinely love someone. To be fair, they cannot even love themselves. They are so concerned about safeguarding their self-esteem from harm that they “see” their partner as an extension of themselves rather than distinct people. Their relationships exist solely to satisfy their needs and meet their demands.
This research-based piece may have appealed to narcissistic people. We hope it helped you understand yourself better.
Narcissists may openly admit to some behaviors, like seeking short-term relationships. But, we can’t expect them to be entirely honest about other aspects of their daily life.
We urge you to never self-diagnose or diagnose others as NPD based on information found online. Please seek a mental health expert’s advice to identify and treat your issues.
Finally, some of you may have thought of a narcissistic person who might be interested in reading this and reflecting on the research. Please share it with them.
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Author Bio: Researched and reviewed by Dr. Sandip Roy. His expertise is in mental well-being, positive psychology, narcissism, and Stoic philosophy.
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