How To Get A Narcissist To Admit They Cheated – Expert Tips

It can be hard to get through to a narcissist. So, how to get a narcissist to admit they cheated? Tried understanding their psychology?

Sexual and emotional cheating is common in romantic relationships, and more so with narcissists.

Narcissists often have a distorted sense of reality. So, when it comes to dealing with a narcissistic partner who has cheated, getting them to admit to their infidelity can be a challenging task.

They will keep refusing to acknowledge their wrongdoing, even in the face of overwhelming evidence.

So, how can you convince them to concede the truth so that you may take the next critical step towards moving forward in the relationship?

How To Get A Narcissist To Admit They Cheated?

  • If you want to get a narcissist to admit to their cheating, approach them with a calm and level-headed demeanor.
  • Try to have all their possible arguments and counter-arguments answered in your mind (possibly written down) before you confront them.
  • Rehearse beforehand so that you can be clear, organized, and assertive in what you say, and show them evidence of cheating that you have gathered.
  • It could be helpful to talk with a therapist or counselor, or even a friend or well-wisher, who can help you have a good conversation and give advice on how to set healthy boundaries and move forward.

However, not all narcissists will willingly admit they cheated, so it is helpful not to approach the situation with a “take no prisoners” approach. Rather, it’s important that you take care of your future self and your feelings if this happens.

Getting them to admit they cheated can be a difficult task because narcissists usually do not want to take responsibility for their actions. So they may try to deflect the conversation or try to manipulate you. They may also turn the blame on you, and say that you made them do it.

Confronting a narcissistic partner with evidence of their cheating can be a daunting task. But you must have undeniable evidence before confronting them.

Without evidence, they may continue to deny the truth. The reason being they do not seem to have a conscience to make them admit to their cheating on their own.

Remember to approach the situation calmly and rationally, without being confrontational or accusatory.

How To Get A Narcissist To Admit They Cheated
Photo by ROMAN ODINTSOV, Pexels

One approach that may work is to appeal to the narcissist’s sense of self-interest. Narcissists are often motivated by their own self-image and may be willing to admit to cheating if they believe it will benefit them in some way.

For instance, they may admit to cheating to avoid being caught or to get out of a relationship. However, it is important to remember that even if a narcissist does admit to cheating, it may not necessarily be a sincere confession.

As one expert puts it, “You can’t control what a narcissist does, but you can control how you react to it.”

As one therapist notes, “Narcissists are skilled at manipulating the truth to suit their own needs.”

The Reality of Narcissists Cheating

Narcissists are known for their sense of entitlement and superiority over others.

They often lie and manipulate to get what they want, including multiple partners and physical infidelity. However, it’s important to note that not all narcissists cheat, and infidelity is not exclusive to narcissists.

Observation of inconsistencies in behavior and personal responsibility are key to identifying a cheating narcissist.

While past events may provide context, it’s crucial to focus on the present and hold the narcissist accountable for their actions.

This study found that people with narcissistic traits were more likely to cheat on their partners, have multiple partners they cheat on, and for women, be cheated on by their partners.

  • Interestingly, the study also found that if a person’s parent cheated on their partner, they were more likely to cheat on their own partners in the future.
  • Among daughters, having a parent who cheated was also linked to having more narcissistic traits and being more likely to be cheated on by their partners.
  • However, this association was not found among sons.

A narcissist’s cheating tendency seems to come from their desire for admiration and attention. They may also feel entitled to cheat and believe they are above the rules of fidelity.

As one relationship expert notes, “The narcissist will never admit to cheating because it would mean admitting that they are not perfect.”

It’s essential to approach the situation with caution and not confront the narcissist until you have solid evidence.

Gaslighting and denial are common tactics used by cheating narcissists to deflect blame and avoid consequences.

It’s important to prioritize your own well-being and seek support from trusted friends or professionals.

So, while not all narcissists cheat, infidelity is a common pattern among those with a narcissistic personality.

This study (The aftershocks of infidelity: a review of infidelity-based attachment trauma) found how can cheating damage the cheated one’s psyche:

  • Cheating can harm relationships and hurt the betrayed partner’s emotional, cognitive, behavioral, and physical health.
  • Cheating can cause a type of trauma or attachment injury that resembles disorganized attachment behavior.

Approach the situation with caution, observation, and personal responsibility. Seek support and prioritize your own well-being when dealing with a cheating narcissist.

A #Narcissist Explains: If you catch a narcissist cheating, why you don't need a confession. #npd
Narcissist explains, if you catch a narcissist cheating, why you don’t need a confession

“Narcissists cheat because they feel entitled and believe they are above the rules of fidelity.” – American Psychological Association

“The narcissist will never admit to cheating because it would mean admitting that they are not perfect.” – Relationship Expert

Signs of Narcissistic Cheating

When it comes to narcissistic cheating, there are several signs to look out for. These signs can help you identify if your partner is cheating and how to confront them about it.

Inconsistencies in Language and Behavior

One of the most common signs of narcissistic cheating is inconsistencies in language and behavior. Narcissists are masters of deceit and manipulation and will often say one thing but do another. If you notice your partner saying one thing and doing something else, it could be a sign of cheating.

Distant and Distrustful

Another sign of narcissistic cheating is when your partner becomes distant and distrustful. They may suddenly start spending more time away from home or be overly protective of their phone or computer. This behavior can be a sign that they are cheating and trying to hide it from you.

Lack of Emotional Intimacy and Commitment

Narcissists are often emotionally unavailable and lack commitment in their relationships. If your partner suddenly becomes emotionally distant and uninterested in your relationship, it could be a sign of cheating. They may also start picking fights or blaming you for problems in the relationship as a way to justify their cheating behavior.

Multiple Partners and Physical Infidelity

Finally, narcissists are notorious for having multiple partners and engaging in physical infidelity. If you notice your partner suddenly has a new group of friends or is spending more time away from home, it could be a sign that they are cheating. They may also start exhibiting changes in their sexual behavior or become overly critical of your sexual performance.

Observation is key when it comes to identifying signs of narcissistic cheating. It’s important to take personal responsibility for your own well-being and confront your partner if you suspect they are cheating. Remember, trust is an essential component of any healthy relationship, and it’s crucial to address any issues that may arise.

“Cheating and lying aren’t struggles, they’re reasons to break up.” – Patti Callahan Henry

“Cheating is easy. Try something more challenging, like being faithful.” – Unknown

“The price of deception is always more than the price of admission.” – Unknown

Confronting A Cheating Narcissistic Partner

If you suspect that your partner is cheating and they happen to be a narcissist, confronting them can be a challenge. However, it’s important to gather evidence and plan your strategy before confronting them. Here are some steps to take when confronting a cheating narcissistic partner:

Gather Evidence

Before confronting your partner, gather evidence that supports your suspicions. This can include phone records, emails, or social media messages. It’s important to have concrete evidence to back up your claims, as narcissists are skilled at manipulation and may try to turn the situation around on you.

Plan Your Strategy

Once you have evidence, plan your strategy for confronting your partner. This can include deciding where and when to confront them, as well as what you want to say. It’s important to remain calm and avoid getting defensive, as this can escalate the situation.

Confrontation and Communication

When confronting your partner, be clear and concise in your communication. Use “I” statements to express how their behavior has affected you, and avoid making accusations or attacking their character. It’s also important to listen to their side of the story, but remain firm in your boundaries and expectations.

Narcissists are known for their counterattacks and may try to distract or deflect from the issue at hand. Stay focused on the topic at hand and avoid getting sidetracked by their attempts to shift blame or avoid responsibility.

Fear and Avoidance

Confronting a narcissistic partner can be scary, especially if you fear their reaction. If you feel unsafe or fear for your physical well-being, it’s important to have a plan in place for your safety. This can include finding a temporary place to stay or involving law enforcement if necessary.

In conclusion, confronting a cheating narcissistic partner requires careful planning and communication. By gathering evidence, planning your strategy, and remaining firm in your boundaries, you can confront your partner and hold them accountable for their actions. Remember to prioritize your safety and seek support if necessary.

“Confronting a narcissistic partner can be challenging, but it’s important to gather evidence and plan your strategy before confronting them.”

“When confronting a cheating narcissistic partner, it’s important to remain calm and avoid getting defensive, as this can escalate the situation.”

“If you feel unsafe or fear for your physical well-being, it’s important to have a plan in place for your safety.”

Getting A Narcissist To Admit Cheating

When it comes to getting a narcissist to admit cheating, it can be a challenging task. Narcissists have an inflated sense of self, which can make them resistant to admitting any wrongdoing. However, with the right approach, it is possible to get them to come clean. In this section, we will explore some strategies that can help you get a narcissist to admit cheating.

The Importance of Honesty

Before you try to get a narcissist to admit cheating, it’s essential to understand the importance of honesty. Honesty is the foundation of any healthy relationship, and without it, trust cannot be established. Therefore, it’s crucial to approach the situation with honesty and sincerity.

Reveal and Expose

One way to get a narcissist to admit cheating is to reveal and expose the truth. This can be done by presenting them with evidence of their infidelity. For example, if you have proof of their cheating, such as text messages or photos, you can show them to the narcissist. This may force them to confront the truth and admit their wrongdoing.

Using Facts and Evidence

Using facts and evidence can be a powerful tool when trying to get a narcissist to admit cheating. It’s essential to gather as much evidence as possible before confronting the narcissist. This can include text messages, emails, and photos. When presenting the evidence, it’s important to remain calm and avoid getting emotional. Stick to the facts, and let the evidence speak for itself.

Avoiding Blame and Projection

When confronting a narcissist about their cheating, it’s important to avoid blaming or projecting. Narcissists are experts at deflecting blame onto others, and they may try to turn the situation around on you. Instead, focus on the facts and evidence and avoid getting sidetracked by their attempts to shift the blame.

As a quote from psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula says, “The narcissist’s perception of reality is so distorted that they will often deny the truth even when it’s staring them in the face.” However, with these strategies, you may be able to get a narcissist to admit their infidelity. Remember to approach the situation with honesty, present evidence, stick to the facts, and avoid blame and projection.

Making a Decision About the Relationship

After discovering that a narcissist has cheated, it’s important to take time to reflect and decide whether to continue the relationship or end it. It’s essential to prioritize one’s own well-being and consider whether staying in the relationship is worth the potential emotional harm.

One factor to consider is whether the narcissist has taken responsibility for their actions and shown genuine remorse.

If they have not, it may be a red flag that they are not willing to change their behavior.

On the other hand, if they have taken responsibility and expressed a desire to make amends, it may be worth considering continuing the relationship.

Another factor to consider is the impact that the narcissist’s behavior has had on the relationship and whether it is sustainable to continue.

It may be helpful to seek the advice of a therapist or counselor to gain perspective and guidance on how to move forward.

Ultimately, the decision to stay or leave the relationship should be based on what is best for oneself and any children or dependents involved.

Always prioritize one’s own well-being and do not feel pressured to stay in a relationship that is not healthy or fulfilling.

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” – Maya Angelou

“The best way to predict your future is to create it.” – Abraham Lincoln

“You can’t change someone who doesn’t see an issue in their actions.” – Unknown

Support and Solution

  • Dealing with a narcissistic cheater can be difficult and emotionally draining:
  • Seek support from friends, family, support groups, or a therapist who specializes in dealing with narcissistic behavior.
  • Narcissists are unlikely to change, so focus on protecting yourself and moving forward.
  • Set strict boundaries and make it clear that their behavior is unacceptable if you decide to stay in the narcissistic relationship.
  • Have a plan in place for your safety if you choose to leave the relationship.
  • Work on your own self-esteem and self-worth. Remember that their behavior is a reflection of their own self-centeredness and poor impulse control, not a reflection of your worth.

Communication can be a powerful tool in dealing with a narcissistic person. Use communication strategies that allow the narcissist to feel heard without feeling attacked.

Converse with care.

Narcissists can be defensive, so it is important to use strategies that will allow them to feel heard without feeling attacked. Use “I” statements instead of “you” statements, and focus on how their behavior has affected you rather than attacking their character.

In the end, the decision to stay or leave the relationship is personal, so trust your instincts and have faith in yourself.

You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness in each of your relationships.

So never be afraid to call out disrespectful behavior, leave people who do not help you grow, and seek out the support and solutions you need to move forward.

As one therapist puts it, “When you admire someone, it’s easy to overlook their flaws. But when you admire yourself, you won’t tolerate poor treatment.”

“It’s important to remember that the narcissist is unlikely to change their behavior. The focus should be on what you can do to protect yourself and move forward.”

“Narcissistic behavior can often leave their partners feeling unworthy and unlovable. Remember that their behavior is a reflection of their own self-centeredness and poor impulse control, not a reflection of your worth as a person.”

“When you admire someone, it’s easy to overlook their flaws. But when you admire yourself, you won’t tolerate poor treatment.”

• • •

Author Bio: Researched and reviewed by Dr. Sandip Roy, an experienced medical doctor and psychology writer focusing on mental well-being, happiness, positive psychology, and Stoic philosophy. His expertise and empathetic approach have helped many mental abuse survivors find happiness and well-being.


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