• Modified on Jan 14, 2025 • Reading time: 8 minutes
Are you dating a narcissist, or have been reading up on narcissists and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)? Then you might have come across the term “narcissistic supply.”
What does “narcissistic supply” supply? Who is the receiver, and who is offering it?
And what happens when you cut off this supply?
What Is Narcissistic Supply
Narcissistic supply is the attention, admiration, and validation from others that a narcissistic person needs, craves, and thrives on. It fuels their self-importance and self-worth. Without it, they feel worthless and irrelevant.
Narcissists regularly need their “supply.” As long as it fuels their ego, they will accept it in any dilution:
- praise,
- compliments,
- silent regard, or
- even negative attention, like when others fear or detest them.

Addiction of Narcissistic Supply
Narcissists are addicted to narcissistic supply. Like a drug of abuse, supply can make the narcissist feel good. It gives them a powerful boost in self-importance and self-worth.
Like addiction, their craving for it is never-ending. When they don’t get their usual dose of supply, they can go through withdrawal-like symptoms, like anxiety, irritability, rage, or depression.
Narcissists will go to great lengths to get their dose of narcissistic supply:
- They use social media, dating apps, or other online platforms to seek new sources of supply.
- They may use intimidation, coercion, or emotional blackmail to get what they want.
- They may also use flattery, charm, or seduction to win people over.
Types of Narcissistic Supply
- Positive supply: The most common form of narcissistic supply. It comes from people who admire, praise, and validate the narcissist. This can include family members, friends, lovers, colleagues, or even strangers.
- Negative supply: This is less common, but it can be just as powerful as positive supply. It comes from people who criticize, belittle, or otherwise put the narcissist down. This can be a way for the narcissist to feel superior to others or to get attention.
What Happens When Narcissistic Supply Gets Cut Off
Impact on the Victim
When you cut off narcissistic supply, you can expect to experience:
- Emotional Toll: Feelings of loss, grief, confusion, anxiety, depression, and PTSD-like symptoms.
- Damaging Effects on Self-Esteem: Feeling unworthy of love, powerless, and experiencing negative self-talk and self-doubt.
- Cycle of Abuse: The narcissist may react with rage and abuse, using tactics like gaslighting, manipulation, and physical violence.
Impact on the Narcissist
When you cut off narcissistic supply, the narcissist may react in the following ways:
- Feel Afraid & Vulnerable: Feeling exposed and vulnerable, they may build a new mask to hide their true selves.
- Aggression and Retaliation: Reacting with aggression, retaliation, or extreme violence, and trying to manipulate others into feeling sorry for them.
- Hoovering: Trying to get you back through hoovering attempts, such as reaching out through social media or showing up unannounced.
- Collapse: Cutting off a narcissist’s supply can lead to a narcissistic collapse.
Compulsive Behaviors
When narcissistic supply is cut off, the narcissist may engage in compulsive behaviors to secure their supply, including:
- Excessive social media use: Frequent posting, sharing, commenting, and seeking likes and replies to feed their ego.
- Manipulative or aggressive behavior: Using guilt, anger, pity (even self-pity) to get others to notice and validate them.
- Grandiose storytelling: Narcissist are used to exaggerating and making up their talents, successes, or experiences to impress others and gain their respect.
- Constant need for reassurance: They may repeatedly seek validation and reassurance, often through constant questioning or fishing for compliments (trying to get people to say nice things about them).
- Provocative or attention-seeking behavior: They say provocative things, do outrageous things to shock, impress, or secure others’ attention.
- Gaslighting or emotional manipulation: Manipulating emotions and perceptions of others to gain power and control, and ultimately, to feed their ego.
- Self-promotion: Constantly promoting themselves, their achievements, and their ideas, often at the expense of others.
- Creating drama or conflict: They can stir up drama or conflict to get attention, sympathy, or a sense of importance. You’ll often see them act rudely to people from a perceived lower social class, like waiters at a restaurant.
Honestly, Do Narcissists Know They Are Narcissists?

How Narcissists Secure Their Supply
You may not realize you are doing it, but every time you praise a narcissist, admire their achievements, or give them attention, you are giving them some form of supply.
Narcissists use these tactics to get their supply:
- Tales of Grandiosity: Narcissists often boast about their accomplishments or exaggerate their abilities. This is a way of trying to impress others and get them to give them the attention they crave.
- Manipulation: Narcissists are good at making others think they are the masters to be served. They use guilt, pity, or other tactics to get people to do what they want.
- Gaslighting: Narcissists often gaslight their victims. This means making them doubt their own thoughts, feelings, and perceptions. This is a way of controlling the victim and making them more dependent on the narcissist.
- Entitlement: Narcissists often feel entitled to special treatment. They may demand that others give them their attention, praise, or obedience. This is a way of asserting their superiority and getting the attention they crave.
- Jealousy: Narcissists are often jealous of others who they perceive as being more successful or accomplished than they are. They may try to sabotage the success of others or make them feel inferior. This is a way of feeling superior to others and getting the attention they crave.
- Triangulation: Narcissists often triangulate relationships. This means that they will pit two people against each other in order to get the attention they crave. They may spread rumors or gossip about one person to the other, or they may play the victim and make one person feel sorry for them. This is a way of controlling the people around them and getting the attention they crave.
- Playing the victim: Narcissists are often very good at playing the victim. They may make themselves out to be the injured party in a situation, even if they are the ones who are responsible for the problem. This is a way of getting sympathy and attention from others.
- Enmeshment: Narcissists often try to enmesh themselves with others. This means that they will try to control the lives of other people and make them dependent on them. They may do this by isolating the person from their friends and family, or by making them feel like they need the narcissist to survive. This is a way of getting the attention and control they crave.
How To Cut Off The Narcissistic Supply
To cut off narcissistic supply, follow these steps:
- Set Strict Boundaries: Clearly define what you will and won’t tolerate from the narcissist, including limits on time, attention, and resources.
- Go No Contact: Cut off all contact, including phone calls, texts, emails, and social media, to break free from the narcissist’s control.
- Prepare for the Aftermath: Be prepared for the narcissist’s reaction, which can include anger, rage, and violence. Safeguard yourself. Build your courage. Seek support from friends, family, police, and your therapist.
Moving Forward After Cutting Off With The Narcissist
Here are some steps you can take:
To Regain Your Self-Esteem
- Practice self-care: Take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. This can include things like exercising, eating well, getting enough sleep, and engaging in activities that you enjoy.
- Challenge your negative self-talk: Notice when you are being self-critical and challenge those thoughts. Ask yourself if they are really true and if there is evidence to support them.
- Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with others and communicate them assertively. This can help you feel more in control and less vulnerable.
To Build Emotional Intelligence
- Practice mindfulness: Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings without judgment. This can help you become more aware of your emotions and be better able to regulate them.
- Practice empathy: Try to see things from other people’s perspectives and understand their feelings. This can help you form deeper and more meaningful relationships.
- Practice effective communication: Learn how to freely and courageously communicate your emotions and needs effectively, and listen actively to others.
To Find Joy Again
- Explore new hobbies and interests: Try new things that you’ve always wanted to do but never had the chance to. This can help you discover new passions and find joy in life again.
- Connect with others: Build healthy relationships with people who support and uplift you. This can help you feel less isolated and more connected to the world around you.
- Practice gratitude: Focus on the things in your life that you are grateful for. This can help you cultivate a positive mindset and find joy in the present moment.
Final Words
- Narcissists rely on narcissistic supply to survive, so when that supply is taken away, they can get angry and vengeful.
- Have a support system (friends, finances, house) ready before discarding your narcissist. Let people know, especially the common friends, that you are breaking up.
- If you feel unsafe, move away when you break up or stop communicating with them.
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Also read: 8 Signs of A Toxic Friendship & How To Handle Them
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