Today's Thursday • 5 mins read
Many narcissists read about narcissism, whether they admit it or not.
These days, narcissism as a topic floods social media, relationship websites, and self-help feeds. It’s nearly impossible for them to avoid.
But what happens when they do read about it?
Narcissists are self‑centered, low-empathy individuals who crave admiration and control. Worse, they fail to see how their actions hurt others. Even when confronted, they deny wrongdoing or twist the narrative to protect their image.
So, when such people come across posts exposing narcissistic behaviors, what runs through their minds? Genuine curiosity? Reflexive denial? Or a quiet recognition that they will never confess?
Why Narcissists Read About Narcissism?
1. To Check If They’re Being Talked About
Narcissists reading about narcissism learn the specific criticisms and language the public uses for “people like them.” They’re usually oversensitive to criticism, so it lets them anticipate or counter those.
They scan for matching examples in their own lives. It lets them spot the likely critics among their friends, acquaintances, or colleagues.
This lets them monitor the public narrative, whether it is gaining traction or needs damage control.
They read to manage reputation, not to gain insight or change.
2. To Copy the Language of Empathy
Narcissists are not very empathic or self-aware people, but they excel at mimicking emotions to persuade others.
Many of them study articles on narcissistic behaviors to stage more convincing shows of self-awareness, empathy, and emotional intelligence.
You hear them saying the right words and phrases to appear respectful of others, like “boundaries,” “healing,” “emotional safety,” but without doing the inner work.
The language changes; the person does not.
3. To Gather Psychological Ammunition
Knowledge helps them manipulate better.
Reading about narcissism teaches them what language works best for manipulation. And supplies tactics for maintaining control: sincere‑sounding apologies, narcissistic projection, and gaslighting phrases.
They use this information to anticipate confrontation, play the victim, or twist the truth with greater skill. Or repair damage via legal or PR moves.
The knowledge is intellectual, not transformational.
4. To Manipulate Others in Worse Ways
Some narcissists treat psychology books like instruction manuals.
They pick ideas that serve them and discard the rest. They read books like “The 48 Laws of Power,” “The Art of War,” and “How to Win Friends and Influence People” to refine their control tactics, not for growth.
In a way, they’re studying people’s weaknesses, how to stay guilt-free after exploiting them, and sound convincing when discussing “dark psychology.”
This makes therapy difficult for narcissists. They often enter therapy with practiced insight but no genuine intention to change.
5. To Reinforce Their Own Beliefs
Reading about narcissism helps them justify their worldview.
They may use psychological explanations, like childhood trauma, genes, or tough upbringing, to rationalize their behavior.
By the way, there is some truth that narcissism may be a defense mechanism that a child develops in response to parental abuse. Still, an explanation cannot be an excuse for bad behavior.
Instead of reflection, they use these insights to strengthen their sense of victimhood or superiority.
For them, knowledge isn’t healing; it’s validation of the false self.
6. To Project Their Behavior Onto Others
Narcissists often weaponize what they learn.
Once they understand the language of abuse, they may accuse others of narcissism to deflect attention. They twist labels to protect their image and confuse their victims.
Knowledge becomes a shield and a sword, both aimed at preserving control.
7. To Quietly Compare Themselves
Some narcissists use reading as a mirror, but selectively.
They look for traits that don’t fit them and conclude they’re “not that bad.”
They downplay manipulation or emotional neglect by contrasting themselves with worse examples. This helps them maintain denial while appearing self-aware.
8. To Feed Their Grandiosity
The more people talk about narcissism, the more validated they feel.
Being the center of online discussions or psychological debates reinforces their sense of importance.
Some even take pride in being labeled “a narcissist,” turning infamy into fuel for their ego.
9. Rarely, To Seek Real Insight
A small subset reads out of genuine curiosity or discomfort with their patterns.
When repeated conflicts, emptiness, or failed relationships become hard to brush off as faults of others, they may use psychological material as a mirror.
This can open a narrow path to growth, in some circumstances, if they choose humility and willingness for self-reform.
Final Words
Most narcissists don’t read about narcissism to change.
They read to become more effective at being narcissistic: fortifying defenses, preserving control, protecting the ego, and sharpening manipulation.
Real healing requires an honest look inside, but self‑examination runs counter to a narcissist’s drive to stay superior and avoid responsibility.
Still, for a few, awareness begins when denial cracks. When knowledge stops serving the ego and starts serving the truth.
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√ Also Read: What Happens To A Narcissist In The End: Better or Worse
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