Trying to make someone estranged fall in love with you again may seem impractical, or even voodoo, but it’s not.
With the right pointers and a little creativity and effort, you can re-ignite the flames of passion in the object of your affection.
As a relationship counselor, I have observed many long-term couples struggle with falling in love again.
And also, how, with a few reminders to practice the right mindset and take action, they can make the unlovable person fall in love once again.
How To Make Someone Fall in Love With You Again
Here are ten practical tips to make your desired one fall and stay in love again:
1. Make sure they aren’t afraid to reach out to you.
A stressed or stale relationship may have bred underlying fears and inhibitions. Both people may have developed high- or low-level fears when it comes to doing or saying certain things.
Whereas healthy relationships need safe and open spaces for communication.
Make sure your partner feels comfortable reaching out to you without fear of judgment or defensiveness, whenever they want.
With open communication, misunderstandings can dissolve and ultimately lead to the reigniting the love in the relationship.
To avoid getting triggered, build a time gap between their words and your response. Then express yourself calmly and respectfully.
Remember, it’s not just about talking, it’s also about being receptive to your partner’s perspective. Fearless communication strengthens your emotional connection, creating a solid foundation for your love to blossom again.
2. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not, and show trust.
Relationships that have lost their love often also make each partner behave in inauthentic ways. Rather than learning to be respectful, they teach themselves how to fake a good front.
For healthy love to come back in a relationship, authenticity, and honesty are crucial.
Don’t act or appear like someone you’re not; instead, be yourself, gently and pleasantly.
Don’t let fear or worry stop you from expressing your true feelings. Stay open about your intentions and wants, and tell them you trust them, which will create an environment of acceptance and vulnerability.
When you show up as your true self, it helps form a deeper emotional connection and build a lasting bond with your partner. Remember, being authentic means being true to yourself and your partner.
3. Show interest and make them feel special.
Love often crumbles into indifference and disinterest. You stop seeing any reason to make them feel important or even just be nice to them.
Realize that, and reverse your attitude. Start showing genuine interest in them, their current interests, and their struggles if you want to make them fall in love with you all over again.
Take the time to actively listen to what they’re saying, ask thoughtful questions, and respond with your own stories and experiences.
This will not only help to deepen your connection with them, but also let them know that you value their thoughts and feelings.
Don’t forget to praise the things you appreciate about them, and make them feel special by doing little things to show you care.
Each time you make them feel special, you’ll be one step ahead in rekindling the spark in your relationship.
4. Bring meaningful compliments back into the relationship.
Geoffrey Chaucer wrote around a thousand years ago, “Familiarity breeds contempt.”
People often use that phrase in the context of a close relationship. That is, the person has not only become bored with the thing but has also come to dislike it due to overfamiliarity.
Psychologists, however, say that familiarity breeds contempt when it’s negative, not positive. In a healthy relationship, it is hard to despise someone you love.
So, if you want the love back, find new reasons to compliment them.
Start noticing the positive aspects of their current self, rather than how far they have moved away from the person you once fell in love with. And you’ll discover new ways to give them genuine and meaningful compliments.
Empathize with their hardships, and it will go a long way in making them feel supported and valued again, and letting them drop their defenses.
Focus on the virtues they have despite their struggles. Are they trying to be happy after a long day at work? Are they being kind to others who are less fortunate? When you admire their values even though they are yet to fulfill their ambitions, they love you.
You are trying to make them see more reasons to love you again like a part of their life. So, don’t overdo or fake your compliments. Instead, be timely and genuine.
5. Show your willingness to invest more effort in the relationship.
Over time, you started putting less and less effort into the relationship. Then one day you realize you forgot how to melt each other’s hearts.
You may not be ready to take the relationship to the earlier level of intimacy, but that doesn’t mean you can’t show commitment and effort.
If you want them to love you back again, you must be willing to give it more effort. Relationships need both people looking out for each other while striving for mutual balance and satisfaction.
Let them know what things you would happily be doing or committing to. Your willingness to invest in the relationship will plant a seed of openness in their heart, even if they aren’t ready yet. From here, things can go deeper and more intimate between you two.
6. Learn to forgive and let go of your grudges.
No one is perfect, and disagreements or conflicts are bound to happen in any mature relationship.
However, holding onto grudges, refusing to forgive, or demanding apologies over and over again, can create serious damage to the relationship reigniting.
Learning to forgive and let go is essential to help you maintain a healthy relationship over the long term.
However, forgiving is not necessary if they are committing the same mistakes again and again, or you want to break up for good. Forgiving also doesn’t mean that you should overlook serious offenses, or let them carry out their frustrations on others.
Three questions need answering: 1. Are they sorry? 2. How will they make amends? 3. Do they promise to not repeat it?
Acknowledge their feelings and try to understand their perspective. Practicing forgiveness can help you carry around the emotional baggage of your past hurts and allow you to move forward.
Forgiveness brings a more positive and loving environment for both of you.
Remember, however, that forgiveness and letting go comes with healthy relationship boundaries.
7. Make things exciting again but respect each other’s limits.
Relationships become stagnant over time, and nothing you do together seem fun anymore.
To make your relationship exciting again, plan fun date nights, surprise your partner with thoughtful gestures, and explore new activities together to rekindle the spark.
All along, make sure that each of you is comfortable with the activities and has the time and energy to enjoy them.
Don’t force them into doing things they are not comfortable with or overwhelm them with too many surprises.
Talk to each other about what you both enjoy NOW, and what you are willing to try. Working within each other’s limits, you can keep the spark alive without compromising the fun aspect of your relationship.
Remember to respect each other’s boundaries.
8. Respect each other’s individuality and personal space.
Khalil Gibran said it so beautifully:
“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.”
Spend time together and share experiences, but don’t step on each others’ toes. Respect each other’s unique interests, hobbies, and personal growth. Give each other space and support each other’s individuality.
Make sure to give each other the space to pursue individual passions and support each other’s growth.
Strive to build a relationship that is grounded in mutual trust and respect for individuality, and you will make the ground fertile for love.
Avoid trying to control one another, as narcissists do.
9. Prioritize your relationship.
People in relationships may lose sight of each other when commitments like work take up most of your time and energy. It can make you two gradually drift apart while being together.
Prioritize your partner by making them feel seen and heard.
You may not always find large chunks of quality time for each other. But you can take the time to say things, even if it’s just a quick text or phone call, and make time for each other in your busy schedules.
No matter how busy life gets with work and responsibilities, but your relationship needs what it deserves if it feels like it’s slipping away.
By making your partner a priority, you’ll give them a chance to love you again and strengthen the foundation of your relationship.
Remember, work can wait, but love should not.
10. Be willing to get off your high horse, and compromise a little.
Relationships aren’t always going to be perfect.
In fact, they require a lot of hard work and compromise from both parties. To reignite your relationship, meet your partner halfway and find solutions that work for both of you.
You can’t expect them to go all the way in the relationship only to keep you happy and make it thrive.
This means being open-minded and willing to listen to your partner’s needs and concerns, and finding ways to address them together. Remember, compromise is key to maintaining a healthy and successful relationship.
Ask open-ended questions on what they want from you, and make it clear how much ground you are willing to concede.
When you listen actively, ask follow-up questions, and show curiosity, you can learn new things to better understand your partner.
Ask open-ended questions to engage them emotionally, and it may reveal hidden insights to help you deepen your connection.
Final Words
Finally, here are three take-home messages to rekindle love in your relationship:
- Communicate effectively and empathically with them.
- Plan and try new things together to keep things exciting.
- Respect each other, forgive, and be ready to compromise a bit.
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Author Bio: Written and researched by Sandip Roy — a medical doctor, psychology writer, and happiness researcher, who writes on mental well-being, happiness, positive psychology, and philosophy (especially Stoicism).
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