Grandiose Narcissist: How To Spot And Handle Them?

✅ Today's Sunday • 📖 10 mins read

— By Dr. Sandip Roy.

• A narcissist knows they are the most important person in the room.
• The grandiose narcissist makes sure everyone in the room knows it.

Grandiose narcissists are highly narcissistic. They waste no time asserting their alpha-person authority, putting others down, and declaring their superiority over everyone else around.

Narcissism develops as a defense mechanism against low self-esteem.

Sadly, grandiose narcissists are more likely to be depressed, anxious, and have trouble controlling their emotions.

Narcissism, marked by an excessive self-focus, can be of two main types:

1. Vulnerable Narcissism: This type involves insecurity and hypersensitivity to criticism. They may appear shy or withdrawn but still harbor grand beliefs about themselves.
2. Grandiose Narcissism: Read on to know this type.

How To Spot A Grandiose Narcissist?

Grandiose narcissists are not as easy to identify as people think.

On the surface, they can seem extroverted, confident, and even charming. In reality, they are needy people driven by a relentless need for admiration.

They believe they are more intelligent, talented, and attractive than others around them. So they deserve other people’s attention. But when they don’t get the attention, they get annoyed, bitter, or openly hostile.

Psychologists have studied these patterns for decades, and several consistent traits stand out. Here are the key signs of a grandiose narcissist, supported by science.

1. They Declare Their Superiority

At the core of grandiose narcissism lies an inflated sense of self-worth.

These people constantly underline their superiority. They brag about talents, intelligence, and unique qualities that supposedly set them apart.

Not strangely, they also feel that people must tolerate their arrogance and entitlement.

You’ll hear them name-drop influential people, highlight their supposed contributions to society, and insist they deserve special recognition.

• Often, their “achievements” are exaggerated versions of reality or even borrowed from others (O’Reilly & Doerr, 2020).
• Studies also show that despite their belief in their superior leadership and intelligence, their actual performance is often no better (and sometimes worse) than that of non-narcissists (Guedes, 2017).
• Men tend to show higher levels of grandiose narcissism than women (Grijalva et al., 2015), displaying more entitlement, dominance, and competitiveness (Leckelt et al., 2017).

2. They Act Impulsively

Grandiose narcissists chase their goals recklessly, ignoring the negative fallout of their decisions. This impulsiveness shows up in poor judgment, risky behaviors, and often in their sexual lives.

• Impulsivity is one defining trait of narcissism. Research suggests their impulsivity may be behind many of their self-defeating behaviors. (Vazire & Funder, 2006).
• Studies link grandiose narcissism with aggressive sexual behavior, infidelity, and promiscuous strategies (Zeigler-Hill et al., 2013; Reise & Wright, 1996).
• They may act without thinking, cut corners in decision-making, and prioritize short-term rewards over long-term stability (Malesza & Kaczmarek, 2018).

3. They Reject Experts and Attack Critics

Grandiose narcissists don’t like being told what to do.

Many organizational and political leaders demonstrate this pattern, making bold but poor-quality decisions while scapegoating others for the consequences.

• Research shows they trust experts less and resist advice, convinced that their own judgment is superior (Kausel, 2015).
• When questioned or challenged, they often lash out with hostility (Blinkhorn, 2015; Boeckler et al., 2017).
• They rarely accept responsibility for failures. Instead, they shift the blame, claiming credit when things go well and deflecting fault when things collapse (Selle et al., 2019).

4. They Chase Leadership and Power

Grandiose narcissists often rise to top leadership roles. Their confidence, charisma, and relentless drive push them into positions of authority.

Steve Jobs and Larry Ellison are often cited as classic examples of narcissistic leaders: visionary yet emotionally detached and distrustful.

• Studies confirm that narcissists are more likely to pursue leadership, earn higher incomes, and achieve career success (Hirschi & Jaensch, 2015; Spurk, 2016).
• Some research suggests their boldness and vision can be effective during times of change (Rosenthal & Pittinsky, 2006; Mathieu & St-Jean, 2013).
• Yet their self-interest and impulsiveness often damage the organizations they lead (Jonason, 2018; Nevicka, 2018).

5. They Take Bigger Risks

Risk-taking is another hallmark. As the stakes rise, grandiose narcissists tend to bet more, not less. They are drawn to projects that let them prove their superiority, regardless of the dangers.

Overconfidence drives this behavior.

• Campbell et al. (2004) found that narcissists placed more and riskier bets than others, and lost more often.
• They rely on intuition rather than expert advice or data (Littrell et al., 2020).

6. They Live in a Fantasy World

Grandiose narcissists often retreat into a world of exaggerated stories and imaginary achievements.

They claim hidden riches, secret influence over powerful figures, or extraordinary physical and mental abilities. These tales serve to shield them from feelings of insecurity, emptiness, or criticism.

Their fantasy world places them in control, always the hero, always admired. This illusion protects their fragile self-esteem, but when someone challenges it, they react with rage.

Narcissists And Conspicuous Consumption

• Narcissists (both vulnerable and grandiose narcissists) are prone to “conspicuous consumption.” That is, they are attracted to luxury products.
• With their luxury purchases, they want to convey to the world that they are unique (individuation) and of high social status (elevation).
• Conspicuous consumption helps narcissists pursue and flaunt their status.

Narcissistic Grandiosity

• Narcissistic grandiosity is a personality trait. It is marked by an inflated sense of self-importance and a belief in one’s own uniqueness.
• Grandiosity is not limited to grandiose narcissists. It may also be seen in other psychological conditions, such as bipolar disorder and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
• The Narcissistic Grandiosity Scale (NGS) is a self-report scale to measure narcissistic grandiosity. It has 16 items, such as “I am a natural leader” and “I deserve to be treated better than most people,” that test-takers rate their agreement with (The Narcissistic Grandiosity Scale, Rosenthal & Hooley, 2019).

How To Deal With A Grandiose Narcissist?

Grandiose narcissists can leave you drained, angry, or doubting yourself. Their arrogance, entitlement, and hunger for control often push you into defensive or submissive roles.

The key is not to try to change who they are, but to protect your own well-being. Here are some ways to do so:

1. Stop Expecting Genuine Empathy

A grandiose narcissist won’t show real concern for your feelings.

They may use charm or “perform” empathy when it serves their purpose. Underneath, their focus stays on themselves.

Accepting this reality helps you stop waiting for the care or validation they will not provide.

2. Set Boundaries and Hold Them Firmly

They will test your limits, push past your “no,” and try to dominate decisions. Be clear about what you will and won’t tolerate, and stick to it.

Boundaries don’t need long explanations; they need consistency.

3. Don’t Argue About Their “Greatness”

Challenging their inflated self-image directly only fuels conflict.

You don’t need to validate their grandiose claims, but you also don’t need to engage in endless debates. Disengage from power struggles rather than trying to win them.

4. Keep Emotional Distance

Narcissists thrive on emotional reactions—whether admiration, anger, or defensiveness. Guard your energy. The less they sense they can provoke or manipulate you, the less leverage they have over you.

5. Protect Your Self-Esteem

Repeated exposure to their criticism, boasting, and blame-shifting can erode your confidence.

Remind yourself regularly: their behavior is about their disorder, not your worth. Keep supportive people close and invest in activities that affirm your value.

6. Limit Trust and Disclosure

A grandiose narcissist often uses personal information against others.

Share only what you are comfortable seeing twisted or exploited later. Keep personally important matters out of their reach. Especially, your finances, private struggles, or vulnerabilities.

7. Know When to Step Back

In work, family, or relationships, there are times when managing contact is not enough.

If the relationship repeatedly harms your peace, safety, or self-respect, consider creating distance or exiting altogether.

8. Seek Support for Yourself

Dealing with a narcissist alone can feel isolating. Speaking with a therapist, counselor, or support group helps you process the stress, validate your experience, and strengthen your coping strategies.

Bottom line: You cannot reform a grandiose narcissist by explaining, pleading, or compromising. They are much like a bully or a troll, heartless in hurting others. So either keep distance or build strong boundaries.

Research References

1. Grijalva et al., 2015. Men tend to show higher levels of grandiose narcissism than women; men display more entitlement, assertiveness, and dominance.
2. Leckelt et al., 2017. Men score higher in narcissistic admiration and rivalry compared to women.
3. O’Reilly & Doerr, 2020. Grandiose narcissists are more likely to manipulate others through lying, cheating, and stealing.
4. Guedes, 2017. Despite inflated self-beliefs, narcissists often perform no better, and sometimes worse, than non-narcissists.
5. Vazire & Funder, 2006. Impulsivity may explain many self-defeating behaviors driven by three hallmark features of narcissism—self‑enhancement, aggression, and poor long‑term outcomes.
6. Littrell et al., 2020. Narcissists pursue goals insensitively, ignore negative consequences, and rely more on intuition than data.
7. Malesza & Kaczmarek, 2018. Narcissists show insensitivity to the repercussions of their impulsive decisions.
8. Zeigler-Hill et al., 2013. Aggressive sexual behavior is more common in men with antagonistic grandiose traits (entitlement, exploitativeness).
9. Reise & Wright, 1996. Narcissism correlates with promiscuous sexual strategies and higher rates of infidelity.
10. Kausel, 2015. Narcissism is negatively linked to advice-taking; narcissists trust experts less.
11. Boeckler et al., 2017. Narcissists are more likely to respond with hostility when facing challenges.
12. Blinkhorn, 2015. Grandiose narcissists often react with animosity when questioned, feeling unrecognized.
13. Selle et al., 2019. Narcissists tend to claim credit for success but blame failures on others.
14. Jonason, 2018. Grandiose narcissists pursue leadership positions but undermine organizations by serving self-interest.
15. Nevicka, 2018. Reinforces narcissists’ rise to leadership roles despite damaging long-term outcomes.
16. Hirschi & Jaensch, 2015. Narcissists earn more and reach positions of power more often.
17. Spurk, 2016. Narcissism predicts career success and leadership attainment.
18. Rosenthal & Pittinsky, 2006. Narcissistic leaders appear effective due to charisma and vision.
19. Mathieu & St-Jean, 2013. Boldness and self-confidence make narcissists effective during times of change.
20. Gerstner et al., 2013. Narcissistic CEOs are more aggressive in investing in new technology.
21. Chatterjee & Hambrick, 2007. Narcissistic CEOs engage in more hostile acquisitions.
22. Campbell et al., 2004. Narcissists take riskier bets, overestimate themselves, and lose more often.
23. Buchholz et al., 2019. Narcissists pursue projects to prove superiority and focus heavily on desired outcomes.
24. Ackerman et al., 2017. Vulnerable narcissists show anxiety, fragile self-concept, and low self-esteem.

Final Words

A large body of research indicates grandiose narcissists are characterized by high self-esteem, a sense of personal superiority and entitlement, overconfidence, a willingness to exploit others for self-gain, and hostility and aggression when challenged (Miller et al., 2017).

We all know some grandiose narcissists. One of the most recognized public faces of narcissism is Donald Trump, who has a high level of narcissism, as per researchers Malkin (2017), Nai & Maier (2018), and Visser et al. (2017).

The NYT wrote in March 2020 about Trump’s “profound need for personal praise, the propensity to blame others, the penchant for rewriting history, the lack of human empathy, the disregard for expertise, the distortion of facts, the impatience with scrutiny or criticism.”

√ Also Read: How to correctly argue with a narcissist?

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