Today's Thursday • 9 mins read
— By Dr. Sandip Roy.
With a Stoic mindset, you can live your best possible life. That life would be so much better that you could relive it without making any changes.
We know Stoics as content people who live with duty and integrity, and handle life’s challenges unfazed. The three key elements of the Stoic mindset are living a good life, controlling only the self, and memento mori.
Some others include amor fati, premeditatio malorum, emotional moderation, living in accord with nature, gratitude and contentment, mindfulness, cosmopolitanism, and continuous self-improvement.
Here’s how to use the Stoic mindset to live a full and meaningful life.
1. See Life Through The Virtue Glasses
Stoics guided each life decision by sifting it through the four Stoic virtues:
- Wisdom: Is it wise?
- Justice: Is it just and fair?
- Courage: Is it brave and right?
- Temperance: Is it moderate and balanced?
Those virtues are fine tools for making good choices. They let you decide fast what should be done in a given situation, instead of wasting time overthinking or worrying.
The Stoic virtue lens is even more useful when facing tough decisions. They let you choose the right path that matches your values, so you won’t regret it later.
- Start each morning by asking yourself: “How can I act virtuously today?”
- End each day with reflection, “Did I live a good day today? How can I improve tomorrow?”
“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts: therefore, guard accordingly, and take care that you entertain no notions unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature.” — Marcus Aurelius
2. Focus on What You Can Control
Stoics divide everything into two simple groups: things we control and things we don’t. They call it the dichotomy of control.
What we control:
- Our thoughts
- Our judgments
- Our actions
- Our responses
What we don’t control:
- Other people
- Weather
- Traffic
- Most outcomes
When you focus only on what you control, you waste less energy. Your car breaks down? You can’t control that. But you can control how you respond.
This shift in focus builds mental strength. Try sorting daily problems into these two groups. This practice helps you stop worrying about things you can’t change.
“Make the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens.” — Epictetus
3. Remember Your Mortality
Memento mori means “remember you must die.” Stoics use this fact to live better, not to scare themselves.
When you remember life is short, and death is unpredictable, you make better choices about how to spend your time. You:
- Stop wasting time on pointless arguments
- Value each day as precious
- Focus on what truly matters
- Let go of petty concerns
Try this simple exercise: Each morning, think, “I might not see another sunset.” This sharpens your attention on what’s important right now. And asks you to give meaning to the time you have.
The idea of memento mori gives way to another powerful concept: carpe diem, or seize the day.
It means to live each day to the fullest, unafraid of death, for that natural end will come to all. As Seneca said of this, “Putting things off is the biggest waste of life: it snatches away each day as it comes, and denies us the present by promising the future.”
- This post, Memento Mori: Meaning, History, Art, & Culture, is very close to my heart.
“You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.” – Marcus Aurelius
4. Prepare for Your Worst Times In Time
Premeditatio malorum means “thinking about bad things beforehand.” Stoics used it to imagine difficulties before they happen.
This isn’t negative thinking; it is negative visualization. It’s practical preparation for a tough future:
- Spend five minutes each morning thinking about what might go wrong
- Plan how you’ll respond to that time with virtue
- Practice your reaction mentally
This mental rehearsal builds emotional strength. When problems actually happen, you’ve already practiced your response. So you stay calm while others panic.
This simple technique reduces anxiety by removing the shock of unexpected difficulties.
“Rehearse potential evils in the future… For if you have prepared in advance, you will never be caught off-guard.” — Seneca
5. Accept Your Fate (But Do Not Surrender)
Amor fati means “love of fate.”
However, this love and acceptance of your fate doesn’t mean you stop doing your duties. It means working with reality as it is, not fighting against it.
When facing difficulties, ask: “How can I use this situation?” This can make every problem a chance to practice virtue:
- Traffic jam? Practice, patience.
- Lost opportunity? Slow resilience.
- Difficult person? Test your compassion.
This Stoic mindset transforms obstacles into teachers. You don’t just endure challenges, you welcome them as chances to grow stronger and wiser.
“Don’t seek for everything to happen as you wish it would, but rather wish that everything happens as it actually will—then your life will flow well.” – Epictetus
6. Avoid Extremes In Your Behavior
Stoics don’t suppress emotions, even though most people think they are unemotional people. They are not.
Stoics allow themselves to feel the full range of emotions. They understand that emotions are a natural force that must be processed, not avoided or suppressed.
The Stoic way to deal with emotions is to experience and express them in moderation. They aim for a balance, steered by reason.
Strong emotions often come from our judgments about events, not the events themselves, as Stoic sages tell us. Seneca said of this, “Man is affected not by events but by the view he takes of them.”
So, when feeling angry, ask: “What judgment am I making of this event?” You may notice that you have given simple facts some extra meaning from your past conditioning.
Someone cuts you off in traffic:
- Fact: Their car moved in front of yours.
- Your addition: “They disrespected me!”
Remove these added judgments, and strong emotions settle. This practice helps you respond to problems with balanced emotions instead of destructive reactions.
“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” – Epictetus
7. Live In Harmony With Nature, Aligning Your Will With It
For Stoics, living “according to nature” means aligning with both human nature and the natural world. We flourish when using reason and working together.
To align your will (what Stoics called prohairesis) with Nature:
- Observe natural cycles—nothing rushes, yet everything gets done
- Accept change as natural and necessary
- Recognize your place in the larger world
- Let go of fighting against what cannot be changed
This perspective reduces self-importance and increases inner peace. You stop fighting against reality and start working with it.
“All things are parts of one single system, which is called Nature; the individual life is good when it is in harmony with Nature.” – Zeno of Citium
8. Practice Gratitude & Appreciation the Stoic Way
Stoics practiced gratitude long before modern psychology discovered its benefits.
Try these two Stoic gratitude exercises:
- Each night, list three good things from your day, no matter how small (Three Good Things).
- Practice “negative visualization,” briefly imagining losing some good things you have now.
Imagining the absence of what you value deepens your appreciation for what’s present. This shifts your focus from what’s missing to what you already have: your home, health, or loved ones around you.
Gratitude isn’t just saying “thanks.” It’s truly seeing the value in what’s already yours.
“He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.” – Epictetus
9. Learn The Art of Stoic Mindfulness
Stoics practiced presence thousands of years before mindfulness became popular. They focused on the present moment—the only time we can actually control.
To practice Stoic mindfulness:
- Focus completely on one task at a time.
- When listening, just listen. When eating, just eat.
- Notice when your mind wanders to past regrets or future worries.
- Gently return to now and feel the present moment without any judgment.
This practice increases enjoyment of daily activities and reduces anxiety about things beyond your control. The past is done. The future isn’t here. Now is where you live.
“Remember to conduct yourself in life as if at a banquet. As something being passed around comes to you, reach out your hand and take a moderate helping.” – Epictetus
10. Embrace Stoic Cosmopolitanism & Sympatheia
Stoics viewed themselves as cosmopolitans, or citizens of the world.
- When you see yourself as a citizen of the world, you feel less alone. You see yourself as a part of common humanity. You no longer feel like you were picked to suffer life’s hardships; instead, you choose hope.
Sympatheia is the Stoic concept of “mutual interdependence.” They felt that all things in the universe are interconnected and have a shared relationship. So the Stoics:
- Practiced social responsibility and sympathy. Because our actions affect others, as Marcus Aurelius said, “What’s bad for the hive is bad for the bee.”
- Made choices that are better for themselves as well as others. Because when other people suffer, we suffer; and when the world suffers, we suffer.
This is how you can practice this Stoic mindset:
- See people from different backgrounds as fellow humans upon this earth
- Expand your concern beyond family and friends to include all people
- Remember that your actions affect others and the world
- Make decisions considering the wider community
These two Stoic mindsets together turn “me” thinking into “we” thinking.
“Human beings have been made for the sake of one another. Teach them or endure them.” – Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 8.59
“You’ve been made by nature for the purpose of working with others.” – Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 8.12
Final Words
Practicing a Stoic mindset builds self-awareness that helps you stay aligned with your values.
Like Stoics, you start to measure success by how well you lived your day, month, and year. And how you responded to life’s challenges.
Start today, as Marcus Aurelius reminds us, “Waste no more time arguing about what a good person should be. Be one.”
√ Also Read: Beginner’s Guide To Stoic Virtues: Unclutter Your Mind/Life
√ Please share it with someone if you found this helpful.