How To Be Happy: Finding True Happiness

Honestly, to find true happiness in a post-pandemic world is mostly about understanding the three scientific truths about happiness:

  1. You do not need to postpone present happiness for future happiness.
  2. You can be happy by purposefully doing things that make you happy.
  3. Your happiness depends more on you and your actions than on things outside you.

We present you with 20 happiness-increasing activities from positive psychology, arranged in a way so you could do them all in a day.

How To Be Happy: Finding True Happiness

20 Hacks To Find True Happiness In A Day
  1. Wake up naturally
  2. Smile the first thing
  3. Go for some exercise
  4. Take an aromatic shower
  5. Do some mindfulness meditation
  6. Take this breakfast, this way
  7. Pick up a book to read
  8. Pledge to uni-task today
  9. Eat a colored lunch
  10. Take an afternoon nap
  11. Phone up some friends
  12. Meet some real-life friends
  13. Spend on social activities
  14. Go back home happy
  15. Give hugs (to those you know)
  16. Dine leisurely
  17. Express gratitude
  18. Do The 3 Good Things
  19. Go to sleep early
  20. Drink water

Happiness Boosting Activities For The Morning

These are the 10 happiness activities scheduled for the first half of your day of happiness:

1. Wake Up Naturally

how-to-be-happy-in-life-barbara-taeger

Just wake up whenever your biorhythm wakes you up, with no alarms to jolt you rudely out of your slumber. When you wake up after a full night of sleep, you wake up rested and energized.

We talk more about the happiness effects of sleep science in hack #19.

The first thing to do is declare to yourself it’s your happy day. Stretch out your arms and legs, breathe in big swirls of air, and noisily breathe out the carbon-dioxide-laden air from your lungs. Large gulps of oxygen feed up the brain fast and freshen up your mood.

Belly breathing is a practical method of relaxing yourself on short notice. Several studies show deep, slow breathing practice is effective against anxiety and insomnia. These breathing techniques have both physiological (via the vagus nerve or the “wandering nerve”) and psychological (via distraction from worrying thought cycles) effects.

Now, get a big glass of water to hydrate yourself. Why? Because dreams are active parts of your sleep, and you lose body water as sweat during your REM sleep.

OK, let the happy day roll out now.

2. Smile The First Thing

Announce cheerfully to yourself and everyone else around in your home, and even to the mirror:

Good Morning! Today is my happy day!”

Smile up! The play-face antics of your face muscles ask your brain to make you look more relaxed and more attractive socially. Scientists call it facial feedback.

Though there are about 18 different types of smiles, science says only one of them reflects genuine happiness—the Duchenne smile. It pulls up the zygomatic major muscles raising the corners of the mouth. And it draws up the orbicularis oculi muscle around the eyes to cause “crow’s feet.”

Research that combed through 50 years of data shows when we smile, we feel happier—even if we were under stress at that point.

• Tip: Science apart, here’s some spiritual motivation to smile. Thich Nhat Hanh, the famous Vietnamese Zen monk says, “Sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.”

3. Go For Some Exercise

First thing on exercise: If you’re healthier, you tend to be happier. And if you are happier, you tend to be healthier. It works both ways.

So, go for a bout of exercise now – a brisk walk, a jog, a session of jumping jacks, whatever. Warm-up slowly, and pound on for 20 minutes before cooling out.

Exercise jolts your body into a mode of threat-perception. And this releases four brain chemicals that make an excitement surge through your body:

  1. adrenaline
  2. serotonin
  3. dopamine
  4. BDNF (brain-derived neurotrophic factor)

Research shows exercisers feel more positive about their bodies, even when there was no actual change in their physique, nor any weight loss. Even 7 minutes of exercise can be enough to boost your happiness. (Check out in the video below what’s 7-minute-exercise.)

7-minute workout routine

After exercise, as you are cooling down, we bet you can’t help feeling a calm and refreshed mood coming over you. It is because the neurons inside the memory center of your brain (hippocampus) get reset.

• Tip: If you decide to walk or jog for exercise, we suggest you go out into a forest or a park with big trees.

Called forest therapy or forest-bathing or shinrin-yuku, walking in a forest with large trees helps reduce stress and blood pressure, and makes us happier. Japanese researchers say trees in the forest release chemicals called phytoncides (wood essential oils). These increase our natural killer cell activity and therefore make us more immune to diseases.

4. Take An Aromatic Shower

Come back home to have a bath with your favorite scented shower gel.

Our favorite aromas have pleasant olfactory memories associated with them. A rehash of those aromas replays those memories in our minds. It takes us back to that earlier-felt blissful state.

Research says another thing of interest:

Happiness has a smell that others can detect. We can transfer our joys through our odor.

The research indicates we produce chemical compounds, or chemosignals, when we experience happiness. And these chemicals can be detected by others who smell our sweat. In the experiment, women who smelled the “happy sweat” displayed the “Duchenne smile” — reflecting the face of a person who is genuinely happy.

So, scientists are essentially saying that smelling a sweat-soaked T-shirt of a happy person may make you happy. As humans, we can transfer our positive emotions, like joy, via the smell of our sweat.

If you’re happy, another person may become happier by smelling your happiness.

5. Do Some Mindfulness Meditation

Our minds are fond of wandering, so they are often not where we are.

Mindfulness meditation not only calms you down but is also one of the most effective ways to achieve fulfillment in life. It cultivates compassion, acceptance, and self-awareness in you.

Mindfulness meditation has positive effects on the brain.

  • An anti-anxiety chemical called GABA gets released in the brain while practicing meditation or yoga. A study in the Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine found there is a 27% increase in GABA levels after an hour of yoga.
  • Mindfulness can also reshape your brain over time. MRI brain scans reveal mindfulness can shrink gray matter in the amygdala – a brain region that processes anger, fear, sadness, and stress.
  • Mindfulness can enlarge the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC) in your brain – a part responsible for higher cognitive functions as decision-making, problem-solving, and self-regulation.
  • Meditators also show increased activity in the hippocampus – the regulator of emotions, motivation, learning, and memory.
See also  4 Helpful Strategies To Stop Overthinking The Past

Simple steps to practice mindfulness: Sit down in a comfortable pose, take easy breaths, and pay attention to your breath flowing in and out. There will be distracting thoughts that take your focus away – acknowledge them and then let them go. Bring back your attention to your breathing.

Now it’s time for a quick 1-minute session of mindfulness meditation. Watch this mini-meditation video by Headspace:

• Tip: If you want to download a free guide on how to start a mindfulness meditation practice, here you go: Mindfulness in 7 Steps.

Find Your Focus with this Mini Meditation

6. Take This Breakfast, This Way

Get on your plate a mix of high-fiber solids and low-sugar liquids. Pay full attention to the food you are eating, noticing the texture, taste, and tease of the morsels.

Eat your food in a mindful, sensual, and engaging way. Avoid poring over your phone or being glued to television screens while eating. If you want to find out the scientific benefits behind it, read these: 20 Finest Tips To Practice Mindful Eating.

• Tip: Add a cup of green-tea to load up on antioxidants – the killers of carcinogenic free-radicals.

7. Pick Up A Book To Read

Pick up a long-neglected book, and leave home for the nearest café to find yourself a comfortable seat. Research says you can focus better in a crowded café than at home (Coffee Shop Effect).

Before you dive into your book, turn off the internet on your phone. Before you dive into your book, turn off the internet on your phone. If you switch up your mobile screen at every notification alert, then you are readying yourself to stress up.

Every time you get a notification from your phone, there’s a little elevation in dopamine that says you might have something that’s compelling.

— David Greenfield, Professor of Psychiatry, University of Connecticut School of Medicine

• Tip: Do not leave your mobile back home. Because, other than for reasons of emergency, most of us have nomophobia — the fear of having no mobile phone with us.

8. Pledge To Uni-task Today

Uni-tasking is doing one thing at a time, whereas multitasking is doing many things together. Uni-tasking is a highly effective strategy to keep yourself away from distress and disquiet.

So, take a pledge and promise yourself you will not multitask all day long today.

Multitasking actually divides your attention throughout your activities. It creates a build-up of stress. Clifford Nass, a cognitive scientist at Stanford University, found that high-multitasking people have more social problems than low-multitasking people in their group.

Experts speculate multi-taskers face trouble paying attention to people.

• Tip: So, uni-task — do one task at a time. Read more about this in this excellent book by Cal Newport: Deep Work.

What multitasking does to your brain | BBC Ideas
High-multitasking people have more social problems than low-multitasking people in their group. Click To Tweet

9. Eat A Colored Lunch

Two things of note here – one, make most of the lunch with your favorite colored salads; and two, use plates that contrast the food. Color can alter your perception of how hungry you are. Charles Spence, the Oxford psychologist, says,

People will wolf down more from a mixed bowl than they will from a bowl full of their favorite color alone.

Of course, the nutritionists will have a better say in planning your food for a happy day. So let them, the experts, design you a diet chart for the day.

• Tip: Eat food with colors that stand out against the plate color. A study from Cornell University showed you eat more when your food color matches the plate, as against contrasting colors.

10. Take An Afternoon Nap

Take a nap—it has many benefits. The National Sleep Foundation recommends a quick nap of 20–30 minutes “for improved alertness and performance without… interfering with night-time sleep.”

A study at NASA on sleepy military pilots and astronauts found a 40-minute nap improved performance by 34% and alertness 100%. Even Google allows its employees an afternoon nap — they have nap-pods installed at their offices.

Research shows when you don’t take a nap in the day, you become extra-sensitive to negative emotions like anger or fear. By the way, do you know what’s the best nap length?

• Tip: However, remember to keep your nap just around the recommended time of 20-30 minutes, as more would cause grogginess, scientifically called sleep inertia.

Happiness Boosting Activities For The Evening

These are the next 10 happiness activities, scheduled for the second half of your day of happiness:

11. Phone Up Some Friends

Phone up friends to be happy

Up from nap, call up a few friends or relatives you haven’t caught up with for a long time, perhaps years.

Happiness is contagious.

Happy friends increase our happiness by 15.3%, say the Harvard researchers Fowler and Christakis after they did a study in 2008.

Research says #Happiness is contagious. Happy friends increase our happiness by 15%. Click To Tweet

12. Meet Some Real-Life Friends

After this, it’s time to find a few (1–2) friends in your area – for a meetup this evening. The Fowler and Christakis study also found a happy friend who lives within a half-mile makes you 42% more likely to be happy yourself. The reason: face-to-face interaction.

We are happy when we have family, we are happy when we have friends and almost all the other things we think make us happy are actually just ways of getting more family and friends.

— Daniel Gilbert, Positive Psychologist

George Vaillant, a pioneer researcher in adult development, said: “That the only thing that really matters in life is your relationships to other people.”

Vaillant’s most famous quote summing up the 20-million-dollar, 75-year-long Grant study is this — in just five words:

Happiness is love. Full stop.

13. Spend On Social Activities

Spend some money and take your friends out for a treat – a movie or a game or a drink. This has a solid foundation in positive psychology. In Happy Money, authors Dunn & Norton show the most satisfying thing you can do with your money is to spend it on someone else.

You can donate to a charity or buy lunch for a friend. Social spending lets you connect with others as well as make an impact upon the world.

Helping others not only makes you happier but also helps you live longer and healthier. The Terman study found those who helped their friends and neighbors, advised others, and cared for them, lived to old age.

See also  Exercise And Mood: How Moving The Body Boosts Your Mood

• Tip: If you really want to know the ultimate truth behind the relationship between money and happiness, based on scientific research, read this.

14. Go Back Home Happy

It’s time to go home. It’s been a happy day, and you’re going to carry the spirit back home. Buy small gifts (perhaps chocolate) for everyone there. If you’re partnered, get a special gift for them — perhaps flowers. Remember, by doing this, you’re spreading the contagion of happiness.

While on your way back, play in your mind some happy memories with your family – a holiday, a date, a get-together. Happy memories release serotonin – the ‘confidence chemical’ – which creates a sense of belonging.

• Tip: On your way back, listen to some cheerful music.

15. Give Hugs (To Those You Know)

Have you heard about the ‘cuddle chemical’ – oxytocin? It is a hormone linked to social bonding that helps foster trust and loyalty. Oxytocin triggers bonding between a mother and an infant, and it may also play a role in recognition, arousal, pleasure, trust, love, and anxiety.

Hugs release oxytocin — the cuddle molecule or love hormone — that helps us bond, feel joy, and sense pleasure.

If you’re single and alone, you could hug a teddy bear, a Mickey Mouse dress-up, or even a pillow.

Scientists have correlated high levels of oxytocin with romantic bonds. Studies show if a couple is apart for long periods, it reduces their oxytocin levels. This drives a longing in them to bond with each other again.

A hug lowers your blood pressure and helps you loosen up if you’re feeling anxious. Hugs lower the levels of your cortisol, our stress hormone. They can make you feel safer and increase your sense of belonging towards your friends, your family, and even strangers. In a way, they make your life more meaningful.

Researchers found hugs act as buffers against the damaging effects of mood changes when people are going through conflicts. A good hug can help you sail through your day with calm. Even if you were to get into an argument later in the day, the positive effect of an earlier hug stays on.

So, when you reach home, share warm hugs and cuddles. Ask your partner, “How was your day?” and listen intently.

Express admiration, appreciation, and affection… The happiest partnerships are also strong friendships.

— Professor Sonja Lyubomirsky

• Tip: However, remember to make each hug last for at least 20 seconds. That’s the right duration, as per science, to make someone and yourself happier by hugging, any day.

how to be happy give hugs
Hugs for at least 20 seconds each releases oxytocin, the cuddle molecule – to make your day happy! Click To Tweet

16. Dine Leisurely

For dinner time, let’s keep the instructions short here. Make your dinner an hour-long stretched-out affair, having a relaxed conversation, sharing fun stories from the day.

This insight comes from many studies on the French and Mediterranean eating patterns which form the basis of their healthy hearts.

17. Express Gratitude

Without this activity, a lot of what you did for finding your true happiness would pass by without a meaning: Expressing gratitude.

In his book Even Happier, the author Tal Ben-Shahar, PhD, writes,

I have been doing this exercise daily since September 19, 1999… When we make a habit of gratitude, we no longer require a special event to make us happy. We become more aware of good things that happen to us during the day, as we anticipate putting them on our list.

Gratitude has three parts:
1. Appreciation (to value it)
2. Expression (to say it)
3. Goodwill (to feel it)

One key point is to remain mindful through each of these phases.

• Tip: Whenever you thank someone, do so with genuineness. It will make you as well as them happier.

18. Do The Three Good Things

This is a writing exercise for increasing your good feelings. Write three good things for which you are grateful for on that day. Help yourself by revisiting the experiences vividly in your mind.

Robert Emmons, one of the best-known researchers on gratitude, reminds us that grateful people tend to be happier and feel more positive emotions. They are also more energetic and more hopeful.

• Tip: If you need a primer, catch the shortest guide to three good things here.

Three-Good-Things-For-Happiness

19. Go To Sleep Early

Sleep is crucial for your happiness. When you sleep less, your hippocampus (the seat of pleasant and neutral memories in your brain) starts acting erratically. As a result, your sleep-deprived brain tends to recall less positive memories and more dark memories.

So, sleep well, for at least 6 hours. Better make it full 8 hours. There are definite health benefits of a good night’s sleep.

Beware, sleeping less than 4 hours a day can lower your optimism levels. Experts correlate sleep problems with 40 times higher rates of depression. If you’re interested in learning more about sleep, then Dreamland is a fine book by David K. Randall on the science of sleep.

• Tip: If you or someone you know has a troublesome relationship with sleep, you can check out the best sleep science hacks here.

20. Drink Water

Drink a glass of water first thing in the morning on waking up. Then keep drinking water at regular intervals throughout the day.

An OnePoll study of 2,000 Americans found 67% of those who drank “more than enough” water, they marked themselves “very happy.” In comparison, those who did not drink enough water were less likely to say they were “very happy” (21%).

Another study showed a mere 1.5% loss of normal body fluid volume can cause fatigue, anxiety, headaches, difficulty to remember and concentrate. Those water-deprived people were also unwilling to take up challenging tasks.

happiness in life is inside us

Why Are You Unhappy In Life

First, why just about any routine advice doesn’t work to solve the question of “how to be happy in life?”

Because the all-too-common solution-ideas about getting a happier life are plain wrong. Because they presume when you achieve your goals, you’ll find true happiness that lasts forever.

Like, if you get married and have kids, you will have lots of satisfaction in life that you’re missing now. Or, when you bag that big promotion, you will never be unhappy again. Or, the situations outside are so uncertain and bad, how could you feel happy until they get better?

The truth is—all of those are based on false assumptions. You do not become lastingly happy when your situations change for the better (like winning a jumbo lottery). Neither do you become sad forever when you have had a serious misfortune (like losing a leg in an accident). Your happiness doesn’t depend on your external circumstances any more than 10%.

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So, when you buy a large home, bring home a luxury car, or marry a desirable person, and think you will be happy for the rest of your life, you are wrong. That famous happiness-myth doesn’t work in real life.

Reaching your goals doesn’t guarantee happiness forever. Look around, and you will find many who pushed themselves hard to realize their life goals to become happy, and are now successful but sad.

Change your perspective. Think of your happiness as an inside deal, and you’d realize immediately you can carry it anywhere, whatever the state of affairs outside!

Success will not automatically replace your misery with joy.

How Can You Be Truly Happier In Life

Science has shown our circumstances control barely around 10% of our happiness. Research also says we control around 40% of our total happiness by doing certain things intentionally. They call these activities “happiness interventions” or “positive psychology interventions.” When done on purpose, they raise your present happiness level.

You need not stay unhappy until you reach a future life goal. You can be happy now and also in the future. So why throw away your chance to be happy now for a distant goal?

Stop waiting for happiness and get happier today. You do not need to sacrifice your present happiness for a life of future joy.

How To Be Happy: Preparation

All the activities you find here about how to be happy in a day have backing from the science of positive psychology. We organized these happiness activities in a way so that you could do them in a single day. You may find it nowhere else on the internet. So, choose a day in your life and get ready to find authentic happiness.

If you are to apply even a few of these, not the whole bunch, you will be decidedly happier. Remember, true happiness comes more from our actions than any chance event happening to us. Lasting happiness comes from activities we choose to do, so says science, rather than appearing out of thin air.

Zero in on a day when you’ll not have any traveling or heavy lifting to do. Preferably, fix a day when you’re on holiday from work. Now, put up three reminders to your D-day — 48 hours before, 24 hours before, and the night before. This is spaced repetition. It chisels an event into your memory.

You may mark and sync your phone and laptop calendars, and even put up a sticky note on your mirror. Now, pre-plan your the day of happiness as follows:

  1. Ten hours: You would need around 10 hours to get through all these happiness activities. Hey, happiness takes time!
  2. Action time: You should ready yourself to be active. Happiness is in essence a verb – that is, you work for your happiness.
  3. Friends: Check the availability of a few friends – just 2 to 3.
  4. Notebook: A paper notebook or a note-taking app.
  5. Sleep early: Sign off the previous day early and go to bed in a way so you get around 8 hours of sleep. Leave the morning alarm off.

• Tip: Right after reading this, look into the calendar on your phone and mark a day for that one happy day.

Finally, and we can’t stress this enough — happiness is a skill that you can learn and hone.

Happiness is an action word—you have to take action to be happier.

Final Words

We get it. Happiness has been a lot of work throughout your day. Just to put in a word of encouragement from an expert positive psychologist:

Pursuing happiness takes work, but consider that this ‘happiness work’ may be the most rewarding work you’ll ever do.

— Sonja Lyubomirsky (The How of Happiness)

Well, that completes our idea of living a day of happiness based on scientific findings from positive psychology research. Do you know there’s a happiness formula?

• Tip: Now you’ve completed your 20 happiness tasks in a day, finish it up by going to your mirror, and giving it another smile.

If you follow these all in a day, you can have the happiest day in your life. Because these strategies are all backed by science, and proven by scientists to work to increase your happiness. Though all these can be done in a day, you could also pick out a few from the list for a day.

And if you are daring enough, you could dive into planning and living a full day of happiness.

Take it up as your 1-day happiness challenge. If you like it, you can keep adding more days of happiness later in the year.

We have missed out on many things, as we presumed one can not possibly cover over 20 happiness activities in a day. So, we ask you to fill in those gaps with your ideas on how to be happy.

One of the vital qualities to have for happiness is self-compassion. Learn how you can cultivate and grow your self-compassion.

What do you think we missed?

Share your ideas on social networks, telling your friends what we could have done better.

One last thing. At the cost of sounding preachy, we repeat what we said in the beginning. A great truth to carry around is:

Once you find your happiness, know for sure it won’t be an endless run. You will worry again, you will stress again, you will face challenges again, and you will be unhappy again.

What you can do is willfully working at your happiness. You just have to pick up a few of these twenty activities any day in your life, or even every day, and help yourself get happier.

find meaning in life
How To Find Meaning of Your Life?

While we based the insights and practices on authentic science, they are not a promise you’d be deliriously happy and thrilled out of your senses. But if you could do these exercises, we are pretty sure you would be closer to finding true happiness in your life.

FAQs

  • Can this be useful for me if I’m already happy?

    Yes, because happiness has its advantages. You can act on these hacks to make yourself happier. So, why wouldn’t you?

  • Can I use this to get my happiness back?

    If you’re not happy and do not feel like doing anything to be happy, it is still going to be useful. Yes, because happiness is practically more of an action word, scientists confirm. You can raise your happiness by up to 40% if you were to intentionally carry out happiness activities.

  • Can I use this to be happy all the time?

    If your question is “How can I always smile, and be happy and positive?” – then sorry to break the news to you. You can not be happy all the time. You will find happiness in your life only in bursts of time, never in a continuous run.

Did Marcus Aurelius say, “Death smiles at us all”?

• • •

Author Bio: Written and reviewed by Sandip Roy—a medical doctor, psychology writer, happiness researcher. Founder of Happiness India Project, chief editor of its blog. Writes popular science articles on happiness, positive psychology, and related topics.


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