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— By Dr. Sandip Roy.- Narcissists come with oversized egos. They truly believe they are superior and deserve exceptional treatment from others. Their holier-than-thou attitude keeps them from admitting to their mistakes.
- These are some of the most arrogant, entitled, and toxic people you will meet. If you don’t give them attention when they want it, they can make you look bad without caring about your feelings.
- They are experts at mind games and word salads. And they don’t let away a chance to manipulate and gaslight people, and will to feel better themselves.
So, you might think that trying to outsmart a narcissist will be impossible.
Tell them one of these 30 funny things and watch their high horse become a tiny pony.
How To Outsmart A Narcissist Each Time
Four best ways to outsmart a narcissist:
- Agree With Them: Telling them, “Yes, you’re absolutely right!” often puts them into a tailspin. They are suddenly silent, trying to decode if you actually agree or are using a sarcasm to show their true nature. Watch them squirm as they try to recalibrate their fury.
- Spell Out Their Next Move: Narcissists are creatures of habit. When they are getting started, calmly ask, “Are you planning to blame me for all that you did?” They’ll be shocked into silence. Then say, “Now you are digging into the past to prove how wrong I always am.” Keep your cool, gloating over the fact that you’ve cracked the code to their safe box.
- Give Them The Silent Treatment: Silence is golden, especially when dealing with a raging narcissist. Simply fall silent and literally take steps back out until they are out of your sight. Doing so during their self-indulgent rant can leave them, well, speechless. Just make sure you know what’s behind you.
- Go Gray Rock: This is your secret weapon when you can’t escape. Become the human equivalent of a gray rock — give them bland, one-word responses to whatever they say. It’s incredibly frustrating for the narcissist, and they’ll be left scrambling to find a new angle of attack. Find out how to gray rock your narcissistic spouse.
30 Funny Things To Say To A Narcissist (Why And When)
Now, let’s have some funny things to say to a narcissist to flip the script.
Use these lightheartedly and in appropriate situations, as humor (or dark humor) to cope with their self-centric behavior.
1. “You must be exhausted from being so amazing all the time.”
- Funny because it’s sarcastic, and they understand sarcasm, albeit a little late.
- Say this when the narcissist is bragging about their accomplishments.
2. “Are you a magician? Because every time you talk about yourself, everyone disappears!”
- Funny because it implies the narcissist is boring others.
- Say this when they’re monopolizing the conversation.
3. “How do you manage to stay so humble?”
- Funny because it’s sharply acidic.
- Say this when the narcissist is boasting about their superiority while downplaying others.
4. “You should write a book about yourself. It would be a bestseller in the fiction section!”
- Funny because it implies their stories are exaggerated.
- Say this when they’re telling a story that seems too good to be true.
5. “You must be a selfie pro with all that practice!”
- Funny because it pokes fun at their self-obsession.
- Say this when they’re taking yet another selfie.
6. “Can you teach me how to be as perfect as you?”
- Funny because it’s a classy snark.
- Say this when they’re bragging about how they never make mistakes.
7. “You must be an expert in everything!”
- Funny because it pokes fun at their know-it-all attitude.
- Say this when they’re acting like a know-it-all.
8. “Is it lonely at the top of your pedestal?”
- Funny because it pokes fun at their self-importance.
- Say this when they’re acting condescending.
9. “You should put ‘Professional Narcissist’ on your resume!”
- Funny in a risky way because it’s downright caustic.
- Say this when they’re constantly talking about their superior selves.
10. “You really know how to make everything about you, don’t you?”
- Funny because it calls out their self-centeredness.
- Say this when they’re trying to make someone else’s situation about them.
11. “If you were a superhero, your power would be making everything about you!”
- Funny because it exaggerates their self-focus.
- Say this when they’re turning the attention back on themselves.
12. “You must have a hard time fitting through doors with that huge ego of yours!”
- Funny because it pokes fun at their inflated self-image.
- Say this when they’re acting superior.
13. “How did you react when you found out the world doesn’t revolve around you? Shocking, right?”
- Funny because it’s poking a bear with a sore head.
- Say this when they’re acting entitled.
14. “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?”
- Funny because it references their vanity.
- Say this when they’re excessively focused on their appearance.
15. “Your autobiography would be called ‘Me, Myself, and I: The Greatest Story Ever Told.’”
- Funny because it mocks their self-absorption.
- Say this when they’re talking about themselves non-stop.
16. “If I had a dollar for every time you talked about yourself, I’d be a millionaire!”
- Funny because it highlights their self-centeredness.
- Say this when they’re dominating the conversation.
17. “You should start a fan club for yourself. You’d be the president, vice president, and every member!”
- Funny because it pokes fun at their need for admiration.
- Say this when they’re seeking validation after validation.
18. “Can you give me some tips on being the center of the universe?”
- Funny because it’s galactically sardonic.
- Say this when they’re acting like everything revolves around them.
19. “It must be tough being so amazing and having to deal with us, mere mortals.”
- Funny because it’s tongue-in-cheek.
- Say this when they’re acting condescending.
20. “Do you ever get tired of hearing the sound of your own voice?”
- Funny because it implies they talk too much about themselves.
- Say this when they’re monopolizing the conversation.
[Did you know that 6% of the U.S. population, mostly men, is estimated to have had narcissistic personality disorder during some period of their lives?]
21. “Your favorite song must be ‘You’re So Vain,’ right?”
- Funny because it references their self-absorption.
- Say this when they’re being overly self-centered.
22. “You’re like a walking selfie! Always ready for your close-up.”
- Funny because it pokes fun at their vaingloriousness.
- Say this when they’re overly focused on their looks.
23. “Did you know that you can’t spell ‘narcissist’ without ‘I’? Coincidence? I think not!”
- Funny because it highlights their self-focus.
- Say this when they’re making everything about them.
24. “If you had a superpower, it would be the ability to make every conversation about you!”
- Funny because it exaggerates their egocentricity.
- Say this when they’re dominating the conversation.
25. “You should run for president. You’ve already got the ‘Me First’ slogan down!”
- Funny because it mocks their self-importance.
- Say this when they’re acting entitled.
26. “You must have a Ph.D. in ‘Me-ology!’”
- Funny because it pokes fun at their extreme self-absorption.
- Say this when they can’t stop blabbering about themselves.
27. “You should get a job as a mirror cleaner. You’d never get tired of looking at the reflection!”
- Funny because it highlights their love for their reflection, just like Narcissus — the original narcissist.
- Say this when they’re excessively focused on their appearance.
28. “You’re the star of your own one-person show, aren’t you?”
- Funny because it implies they’re the center of their own universe.
- Say this when they’re acting like everyone around them took some favor from them.
29. “If you were a planet, you’d be Narcissitron, where everything orbits around you!”
- Funny because it cuts like a knife, and you must be looking over your shoulders from that moment on.
- Say this when they’re acting as if they’re the center of the universe.
30. “Do you ever take breaks from being so much in love with yourself, or is it a 24/7 job?”
- Funny because it’s subtle, and they may even smile thinking about it later.
- Say this when they’re acting superior or overly confident.
Final Words
Narcissists and manipulative people often use a strategy called “Word salad” to:
- avoid taking responsibility for a specific issue
- dodging someone’s pointers that the narcissist did wrong
- muddling the debate when they cannot win with their logic
√ Also Read: How To Respond To A Narcissist’s Irrational Anger?
√ Please spread the word if you found this helpful.
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