20 Signs of A Narcissist: Red Flags of Narcissism

• Modified: Feb 4, 2025 • Read in: 16 mins

Two psychological traits lie at the heart of every narcissist: an inflated sense of self-importance and a lack of empathy for other people.

Now, some of them are grandiose narcissists—extreme ones who brag arrogantly, act like Gods, and dismiss other people like they don’t matter.

And then, there are the hidden, vulnerable narcissists. These less extreme types are called covert narcissists, and their types do some weird things.

How do you spot the covert narcissist? Notice these:

1. Do they humblebrag? Do they fish for compliments or validation?
2. Do they bring in their achievements when you share your wins with them?
3. Are they quick to go defensive when their ideas, opinions, or actions get criticized or challenged?
4. Does this person get restless or sulky if you don’t give the attention, praise, or special treatment?

Whatever their type, narcissists always find time to worship their larger-than-life self-image.

When others stop valuing them, they use self-worship to feel better. Glorifying selves and demeaning others relieves the pain of being average, having failed, being ignored.

There’s more; read on to know the twenty signs of a narcissist.

20 Signs of A Narcissist: Red Flags of Narcissism

1. Exploitation of Others: It’s their nature to exploit others for selfish interests. What others do for the narcissist is what he/she deserves, but what he/she does for others is a special gesture that must be reciprocated.
2. Bullying Behavior: They can bully, demean, and even threaten others with physical or social harm to assert their dominance and control — but only as long as their victim is gentle and weak. To the wealthy and powerful, they are sycophantic and courteous. As they say, narcissists are fans of bigger narcissists.
3. Disrespect for Boundaries: They sim[ply disregard others’ boundaries, and almost take as their right to strep on other people’s personal space and privacy. It’s how they test people’s limits of goodness and tolerance.
4. Need for Control: They have a tendency to micromanage or dictate the behavior of others, and can’t stand others making decisions for them. They get anxious or insecure if they don’t feel in charge of their environment, relationships, or circumstances.
5. Strong Sense of Entitlement: Entitlement is when someone believes they deserve special treatment or recognition because they are excellent, even when they do not deserve it. Narcissists expect and feel entitled to receive favorable treatment, and assume their demands will be met without question.
6. Lack of Empathy: They show no genuine concern for others’ feelings. Nor do they feel guilt or remorse for their misdeeds. Actually, narcissists don’t feel emotional empathy, but are good at faking it.
7. Belief in Superiority: They truly believe they are superior in every way than those around them. These smug people feel they are more popular, beautiful, and skilled, and even kinder and more generous than others.
8. Inflated Sense of Self-Importance: They have an inflated sense of their own importance. They exaggerate their own achievements, skills, and abilities. And get defensive or angry when their bloated self-image is challenged.
9. Overestimation of Abilities: This is the paradox: most of their self-belief is an overestimation. They overstate their intellectual and physical capabilities, and make up stories about their talents and luck.
10. Condescending Attitude: They look down on others, belittling and demeaning those around them. It’s always like they are looking at you from a higher plane.
11. Arrogance and Hostility: They are arrogant and hostile, finding it almost impossible to apologize or admit fault.
12. Denial of Responsibility: They refuse to take accountability for their mistakes, even when caught cheating or lying. And often shift blame onto others.
13. Predatory Relationships: They use their partners, family members, and romantic relationships to serve their own needs. They use people as tools to control and extract their supply. They often make friends with influential people to boost heir own status and ego. Relationships stop being good when others stop serving their selfish needs.
14. Superficial Relationships: They have superficial, emotionally shallow, relationships. Even if they don’t admit, they know this nature of themselves. Their loved ones end up feeling emotionally exhausted.
15. Fragile Self-Esteem: They have a delicate self-esteem that needs constant validation and admiration to maintain.
16. Sensitivity to Criticism: They can’t handle even the mildest criticisms, even constructive feedback. And react extremely negatively to any critique as if it were an insult to their ego.
17. Self-Centeredness: They are highly selfish and self-centered. Their actions and decisions revolve entirely around their own needs and desires.
18. Attention Seeking: They seek constant attention and admiration from others, always wanting to be the center of focus. They can enter uninvited into conversations to hijack it to glorify themselves.
19. Reality Distortion: They live in a fantasy world created by self-deception and magical thinking, often distorting reality to fit their narrative. Their version of reality is an idealized version that feeds their grandiose narrative.
20. Envy and Projection: They frequently believe that people are envious of them while harboring envy themselves, and this makes them project their insecurities and negative traits onto others.

Is Trump A Narcissist?

On Jan 30, 2025, NYT’s Maureen Dowd and Patrick Healy talked about President Trump’s approach to power during his second term. They made comments on Trump’s narcissistic traits:

• Need for Admiration: Dowd feels Trump wants people to worship him, “After the assassination attempt, the language at the convention and in the inaugural speech was ratcheted up to be more like he’s a divine creature.” And elites to respect him, “He loves it. Because he always wanted the love of the elites, and he still does.”
• Desire for Control and Power: Dowd says Trump now exudes a sense of absolute power and control in contrast to his first term, “Trump was seen as a clown, as a dilemma by some in his first term, but now he’s a master and commander of the entire fleet.” While Healy says, “Trump’s hunger for being worshiped is so related to his conception of power.”
• Self-Centered Leadership Style: Dowd remembers Trump ran Trump towers “in a monomaniacal way.” He brings this approach to governing, away from the traditional governance. Dowd says, “Trump has subsumed the idea of governing with his personality.” And, “It’s just about him and his id. That’s it. It’s not going to be governing in the way that we know it.”
• “Narcissistic Explosion”: Dowd says when narcissists are given everything they want, it can lead to an extreme, unchecked display of narcissistic behavior. “The one thing you really don’t want to do with extreme narcissists is (to) give them everything they want, give them all the attention they want, because then you are inviting a narcissistic explosion of unparalleled force, which is what I think we’re heading for.”
• Lack of Empathy: Dowd draws a parallel between Trump’s administration and Greek gods. Dowd says, “The White House now is reminding me of the Greek gods because they were so cruel and capricious. Often what they did made no sense, and it was all totally narcissistic and selfish, and I think that’s the kind of administration we’re watching.”
• Vindictiveness and Resentment: Narcissists hold and settle grudges with revenge against those they see as disloyal or critical. “He never forgets a slight, holding grudges and seeking revenge on those who challenge him. … The ‘Here I am’ was like a promise and a threat that he is now fulfilling.”
• Manipulation of Fear: Patrick Healy says, “Trump has played so effectively on the fear that people have, people’s fears in America, on the economy, immigration.” Trump’s governance works to play on people’s fears regarding issues like the economy and immigration.

Dowd says “Saturday Night Live” portrayed Trump as this relatable and charming character who has those over-the-top characteristics—brashness, self-importance, boastfulness. “It shows him as a blowhard, but in a way he comes across kind of cool.”

A Narcissist’s Language

Can you tell a narcissist from their language? This study suggests yes, you can.

People with high narcissism:

• use more words overall,
• more swear words (e.g., damn),
• frequently use auxiliary verbs (e.g., will),
• show less agreement in their speech,
• use more aggressive and disagreeable words, which leads to poorer quality relationships with others.

Some psychopathic narcissists can give you a chilling, unblinking stare — sociopathic stare — a sign that they want you under total control.

Why do narcissists think they are larger than life?

Deep down, narcissists know how embarrassingly average and unspecial they are.

• So they create and become obsessed with a godlike, perfect version of themselves. This self-worship is a way to compensate for their inset feelings of insecurity, inadequacy, and low self-worth.
• The grandiose persona they project is a defense mechanism, a fragile facade designed to cover up their deep-seated shame, self-loathing, and fears of being unlovable or ordinary.
• Their narcissistic traits – entitlement, lack of empathy, need for excessive admiration – all stem from this underlying sense of emptiness and desperate attempt to construct an idealized self-image to protect their fragile egos.
• Beneath the arrogant, self-absorbed exterior lies a tormented individual, haunted by feelings of inferiority and intense envy of others.
• Their relentless pursuit of narcissistic supply – attention, power, status – is a futile attempt to fill the void within, a black hole of insecurity that can never be satisfied.
• The more they try to convince the world of their superiority and specialness, the more it lays bare their tragic inability to love and accept their true, flawed selves.

It is not too difficult to identify narcissists in a group; their attitude of superiority stands out. These are the classic grandiose ones. They are typically loud, gasconading* a crowd with their captivating, often magical, life stories.

By the way, gasconading* = boasting about one’s accomplishments, qualities, or possessions.

• Back and colleagues (2013) note that narcissists use self-enhancement or self-protection strategies to sustain the grandiose self, in their narcissistic admiration and rivalry concept (NARC).
• Morf and Rhodewalt (2001) explain Narcissism as the dynamic process of creating and maintaining a grandiose self.

How is narcissism diagnosed?

The clinically or “officially” diagnosed form of narcissism is Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), which affects about 1 in 200 people. So who qualifies as an “official” narcissist?

According to the DSM-5, a person must have at least five of the following:

1. A grandiose sense of entitlement, that is, exaggerates achievements and talents, and expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements.
2. A preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
3. A belief that they are special and unique, and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people.
4. A need for excessive admiration.
5. A sense of entitlement, that is, unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with their expectations.
6. Interpersonally exploitative behavior. They are someone who takes advantage of others to achieve their own ends.
7. A lack of empathy, that is, a person who is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
8. Envy of others or a belief that others are envious of him/her.
9. A show of arrogant and haughty behaviors or attitudes.

NPD can only be diagnosed by a qualified mental health clinician. NPD is a part of Cluster B personality—disorders marked by inappropriate and volatile emotionality, unpredictable behavior, and struggle to maintain relationships.

Cluster B personality disorders:

1. Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD)
2. Borderline personality disorder (BPD)
3. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
4. Histrionic personality disorder (HPD)

• Find out what each of those 9 narcissistic behaviors means to stay clear of their manipulative tendencies.

How many types of narcissists are there?

Psychologists divide narcissists into two main types:

1. Grandiose narcissists are very self-centered and use a lot of I, me, mine statements. However, they can largely adapt to the general population. Raskin and Hall’s Narcissistic Personality Inventory (NPI) measures grandiose narcissism by asking people if they agree with statements like, “I am a special person” or “I am more capable than other people.” (Raskin & Terry, 1988).
2. Vulnerable narcissists are also called covert narcissists, since they usually keep their self-centeredness “hidden.” Their vulnerability is often associated with various personal and social problems (Kaufman et al., 2020; Miller et al., 2011).

But many experts feel that narcissists can be of six types.

How common is NPD?

• NPD has a global lifetime prevalence of 6.2%.
• NPD affects around 0.5 percent of US adults.
• 75% of those diagnosed with NPD are men.
• Narcissism appears in the early-20s to mid-20s.
• Once it sets in, it is typically lifelong and may get worse in middle or old age unless treated.
• Positive life events, such as new achievements, secure relationships, and manageable setbacks, can lead to a significant reduction in pathologic narcissism over time (Ronningstam et al., 1995).

“Narcissists want positive feedback about themselves, and they actively manipulate others to solicit or coerce admiration from them. Accordingly, narcissism is thought to reflect a form of chronic interpersonal self-esteem regulation.”

— Encyclopedia Britannica

Don’t expect a narcissist to love you because they struggle to love their true self. If you’re in love with a narcissist, reach out to a counselor to solve your relationship issues.

Narcissism In Children & Adolescents

Narcissism is moderately heritable.

Children are born with narcissistic tendencies. Babies don’t do things for anything else but to get food and love. These tendencies fade as they grow up. However, some children tend to become more narcissistic during adolescence.

A 2015 study found that narcissism levels have been increasing among Western youth, and contributing to societal problems such as aggression and violence.

This study found that narcissism type was predicted by specific parenting styles:

• Parental overprotection (“helicopter parenting”) and parental overvaluation were associated with greater grandiose narcissism.
• While parental leniency was associated with more vulnerable narcissism.

The children seem to partly acquire narcissism by internalizing parents’ inflated views of them (e.g., “I am superior to others” and “I am entitled to privileges”).

High narcissism in young people can also contribute to depression, anxiety, low self-worth, suicide attempts, and poor-quality relationships (Narcissistic traits in young people, 2020).

History of Narcissism

• The concept of narcissism can be traced to the Greek myth of Narcissus.
• When the egoistic hunter Narcissus rejects Echo’s love, the Gods condemn him to fall in love with his own reflection. He sees his image in the water, but each time he tries to touch it, the waves would make it disappear. He withers away, transfixed, longing for his unreachable self-image.
• Psychologists came to identify traits of Narcissus as narcissism. In 1898, Havelock Ellis, a British medical doctor, was the first to classify narcissism as a mental disorder.
• Sigmund Freud wrote a famous essay on narcissism in 1914: On Narcissism. He suggested narcissism was a normal stage in child development but becomes a disorder when it occurs after puberty.

NPD vs. NPT

NPT is a milder form of NPD.

Books on Narcissism

• The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement (2009) by Twenge and Campbell
• Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed (2014) by Wendy Behary
• The Narcissist Next Door: Understanding the Monster in Your Family, in Your Office (2014) by Kluger
• Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist (2015) by Ramani Durvasula
• The Narcissist You Know: Defending Yourself Against Extreme Narcissists (2017) by Joseph Burgo
• The Narcissist’s Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself (2019) by Dana Morningstar
• The Narcissist in Your Life: Recognizing the Patterns and Learning to Break Free (2019) by Julie Hall
• Narcissistic Mothers: How to Handle a Narcissistic Parent and Recover from CPTSD (2020) by Foster

Research On Narcissism

10 research papers on narcissism:

1. The Dark Side of Leader Narcissism: The Relationship Between Leaders’ Narcissistic Rivalry and Abusive Supervision — Gauglitz & Schyns, 2022.
2. Narcissism Today: What We Know and What We Need to Learn. Current Directions in Psychological Science — Miller & Back2021.
3. The link between narcissism and aggression: A meta-analytic review — Kjærvik & Bushman, 2021.
4. Factors influencing TikTok engagement behaviors in China: An examination of gratifications sought, narcissism, and the Big Five personality traits — Meng & Leung, 2021.
5. Making CEO Narcissism Research Great: A Review and Meta-Analysis of CEO Narcissism — Cragun & Olsen, 2020.
6. Collective Narcissism and Its Social Consequences: The Bad and the Ugly — de Zavala & Lantos, 2020.
7. The “Why” and “How” of Narcissism: A Process Model of Narcissistic Status Pursuit — Grapsas & Brummelman, 2020.
8. Narcissism and problematic social media use: A systematic literature review — Casale & Banchi, 2020.
9. Raising Children With High Self‐Esteem (But Not Narcissism) — Brummelman & Sedikides, 2020.
10. Clinical Correlates of Vulnerable and Grandiose Narcissism: A Personality Perspective — Kaufman & B., Weiss, 2018.

Final Words

Did you know that narcissists think they are more popular than their peers, but research shows they are actually less popular? Even if they initially get popularity, they eventually lose their status.

Don’t let a narcissist’s popular charm trap you. It is best to recognize this person from a distance and stay away.

√ Also Read: 10 Safest Ways To Trick A Narcissist Into Telling The Truth

√ Please share it with someone if you found this helpful.