Learn how to make a narcissist regret losing you. Find effective ways to make them feel pain and regret, reclaim your power, and force them to repent.
Narcissists are people-users. They use people to get their narcissistic supply and then discard them at will. Sometimes, you get so fed up with their toxic behavior that you decide to leave them.
So, what can be some practical strategies to prompt the narcissist to feel sorry about leaving you?
Using these tactics will let you regain your power and self-assurance while making them wonder if they should reconsider getting you back into their life.
Are you looking to make a narcissist regret losing you, that is, regret more than their feeling that they let you go cheaply?
10 Powerful Ways To Make A Narcissist Regret Losing You
Here’s how to make the narcissist regret leaving you:
1. Think Like Them And Feel No Regret
Understand their thought processes. Never forget that narcissists are addicted to controlling and manipulating others while not feeling a shred of guilt or shame.
Put yourself in their shoes and do with them some of what they do with everyone:
- do not feel regret or show any sadness if you broke up with them.
- do not feel regrets or show sadness if they discarded you from their life.
How does this help?
When they see you having no sad feelings when the relationship ends, it can make them feel quite uncertain about the breakup, and lead to regret.
“Did I do the right thing? Could have stayed on…”
Your confident and unbothered attitude will send a strong message that they have lost all their power over you, which could cause them to regret losing the erstwhile helpless you.
“She seems relieved. Should have remained with her…”
Seeing you feel no regret at losing them, the narcissist may question themselves if you were the one who discarded them.
“Was he preparing for this? Should have stuck back to find out…”
2. Go “No Contact” And Stay Unavailable Forever
Take things a step further – go “no contact” with them.
What narcissists often evoke in their close ones is an empathetic urge to fix the narcissist.
But when you actively eliminate their presence from your life, it prevents you from feeling empathy or pity for them.
It fades out your desire to fix them and makes it easier to forget them.
Stopping all contact with the narcissist after a long period of closeness may be a difficult decision, but do it. Block them out from every place they may find you, both online and offline.
How does this help?
Your actively cutting ties can cause the narcissist to feel rejection, and lead them to regret their choice of letting you go.
Make a promise to yourself to remain unavailable to them and stay strong with this decision.
Keeping yourself absolutely unobtainable to them shows them you have risen from the ashes.
This newfound self-dependence and resilience of yours can leave them questioning and regretting their actions even more.
3. Allow Yourself To Grieve The End of The Relationship
Grief is a natural process of healing from the loss of someone in our life, such as the end of an important relationship.
Grief helps us cope with our sad emotions, adjust to the new reality, and eventually find a way to move forward.
You lost a precious investment of your love. It is natural to feel sadness and pain. Give yourself permission to grieve.
Allow yourself to feel a spectrum of emotions, from sorrow and rage to disappointment.
Don’t suppress, reject, or dismiss your feelings; doing so could prolong your recovery.
Make time and space to process your difficult emotions. Embracing these initiates the healing process, eventually restoring your self-worth and self-confidence.
How does this help?
As you come out of your grieving period, your strength and determination will return. This will open you up to seize big opportunities and reclaim the lost glory in your personal and professional life.
The news will reach them, and they might regret that they could not benefit from your success.
So, allow yourself to process the emotional leftovers from the narcissistic abusive relationship.
4. Forget Them And Live As If They Never Existed
You have denied them access to your life and your emotional turmoil. You survived the death of the relationship and emerged resilient.
What’s next?
Forget them. It is time to move on with your life as if your past with them never existed.
All of that traumatic past is now just a bunch of bad memories.
And memories can’t hurt unless someone digs them up.
How does this help?
Narcissists are envious of other people’s freedom and fulfillment.
Your happy life can trigger intense envy and jealousy in them.
- Envy because they see they don’t have what you have – freedom and joy.
- Jealous because they feel you have taken away their happiness and peace with you.
Actually, it “kills” them from within to realize that they let the past slip away, because memories, when dug out, can hurt like hell.
They regret that they will never again be the center of your universe or have control over your happiness.
Meanwhile, this new reality can reinforce their insignificance in your future life, as well as your relief at finally being free of a serial abuser.
Figure out any myths of happiness you may hold, and replace them with true beliefs to find long-term joy.
5. Resist The Urge To Seek Revenge Or Strike Back
Once you feel free from their influence, you start to see the many ways they manipulated and used you.
This builds a wave of anger and bitterness in you, and creates an urge to get back at them.
We suggest, please resist the temptation to retaliate against the narcissist, as it only gives them more power over you.
- First, it shows getting back at them matters more important than being indifferent.
- Second, it means they will continue to have some control over your future peace.
Show maturity and strength by focusing on your own well-being and growth. Live your life like their mental, physical, financial, and any other conditions do not matter to you.
How does this help?
When you remain calm and composed, you show the narcissist that they’ve lost a supportive and caring person, which may lead them to regret their actions and the way they treated you.
Remember, the best revenge against them is living a happy and fulfilling life without them.
6. Cherish Your Freedom From The Toxic Relationship
Now that you are free from that toxic relationship, take all your energies to focus on the positive things in your life,
Embrace your newfound independence. You can do, say, wear anything you want to. You can be with anyone, go anywhere, and live any way to deem fit.
How does this help?
Exploring life in fresh ways and new colors opens you to new possibilities, increasing your chances of finding happiness, which makes the narcissist envious.
It also makes the narcissist regret losing a valuable person who could have elevated their social status.
So, enjoy your life, pursue your passions, and take some risks (like going on solo holidays).
Surround yourself with those who matter, while bidding a few more goodbyes to those who bring you down.
Send a clear message to the world that you are thriving after the narcissistic relationship.
7. Avoid Rushing Into A New “Revenge Relationship”
A “revenge relationship” is when someone enters a new partnership primarily to get back at an ex-partner.
These relationships are often based on negative emotions, such as anger and resentment, rather than genuine love and connection.
Instead of rushing into a new relationship to make the narcissist jealous, which can lead to an unhealthy and short-lived bond, take time to heal and reflect on your needs.
How does this help?
Taking your time to enter a healthy relationship when you’re truly ready prevents the narcissist from feeling validated or justified in their actions. This can cause them to regret losing you to a better person.
Focus on healing emotionally and growing personally.
Once you feel ready to trust someone new with your vulnerabilities, look for a person who genuinely values and respects you, then enjoy a happy relationship together.
8. Put Your Happiness First And Pursue A Joyful Life
In a new relationship, even if the new person is wonderful, never take your focus away from your needs and happiness.
If you start sacrificing your emotions again, it would be like continuing the same unhealthy relationship but with a new person.
Putting your happiness first means dedicating time and energy to activities that make you feel fulfilled and joyful.
There’s is saying,
A fish that dies can spoil the entire pond.
That fish is you, and the pond is everything around you.
Things that bring you joy could be things that you enjoy doing alone, with specific friends, or with this new person. Don’t impose your acts of joy on them, do not let them do theirs.
How does this help?
As you build a happy life, the narcissist will notice that you’ve moved on and are thriving well without them, leading them to question if they made a mistake in losing you.
Surround yourself with positive influences, engage in your favorite hobbies, and work on bettering yourself.
9. Pursue New Hobbies And Interests For Personal Growth
Dive into passions and interests that reflect your inner desires and align with your authentic self.
This will help you create a life that has grown stronger after the trauma. This is called post-traumatic growth.
Embrace opportunities to learn new skills, join clubs or groups, and make new friends who share your interests.
How does this help?
As you continue to grow and evolve, the narcissist may see that they missed out on sharing your remarkable journey of self-discovery and personal growth.
This can make them regret losing someone who has become more dynamic, interesting, and fulfilled without them in their life.
10. Focus On Healing And Reinventing A New Self
Build a new you.
Breaks often help us, sometimes force us, to see the same old things with new eyes.
Use this breakup to review your life up to this point, and sincerely ask yourself how you are going to change your ways and behaviors to reinvent a new you.
While healing your emotions, which may take a while, work in little bursts to build new priorities, self-esteem, career changes, skills, values, and boundaries.
Make a list of things you want to leave behind and the type of people you’ll trust after this relationship.
Engage in self-improvement activities such as therapy, meditation, or self-help books, which can help you rediscover your true self.
How does this help?
As you grow stronger and more independent, the narcissist may come to regret losing someone who has become an even more resilient and self-assured person.
Focus on self-growth, becoming more assertive, and striving for healthier relationships.
FAQs
What makes a covert narcissist regret leaving you?
A covert narcissist might experience regret if:
1. They lose the “narcissistic supply” you provided, like financial resources or admiration.
2. Your high value elevated their status, and they can’t find a replacement.
3. They miss the power of devaluing you and eroding your self-worth.
4. They can no longer play the victim with their “flying monkeys” after leaving you.
5. They realize that their new partner doesn’t cater to their needs as you did, making them feel less in control.
6. Their mask has slipped, and their true nature is revealed, causing them to fear being exposed and losing their carefully crafted image.Why does a narcissist leave a relationship?
1. New Supply: Narcissists may leave a relationship if they find a new partner who offers them a higher level of attention, admiration, social status, or resources that they desire.
2. Loss of Control: If a narcissist feels they are losing control over their partner or the relationship dynamic, they may choose to leave to regain power and control.
3. Exposure: If your saw through their manipulative behaviors and unmasked their true nature, they start distancing themselves for fear of being confronted. They may leave to avoid being held accountable for their actions.
4. Boredom: Narcissists may become bored with their current partner, especially if they feel their partner is no longer providing sufficient admiration or validation.
5. Challenging Boundaries: If a partner begins to assert their boundaries and resist the narcissist’s manipulations, the narcissist may leave to seek a more submissive or compliant partner.What are some poetic justice/karmic revenge ways that make a narcissist regret leaving you?
A narcissist may be served regret in these ways:
1. When they grossly miscalculate their finances and struggle to afford rent and deposit for their new place.
2. When they see you winning the lottery after they leave, it makes them realize they missed out on a lot of financial gains.
3. When their new partner proves to be high-maintenance, demanding more attention and resources than the narcissist anticipated.
Final Words
While trying to make a narcissist feel regret, remember that their revengefulness and lack of empathy can make it rebound.
All narcissists are potentially dangerous. Creating a situation where they miss your support can drive them to stalk you and find ways to hurt you.
Learn from this experience, and prioritize your well-being and personal growth.
- Share your story to assist others facing similar challenges.
- Set healthy boundaries in future relationships to avoid manipulation.
- Seek a therapist’s guidance and support during this emotionally taxing time.
Remember that making a narcissist regret losing you is acceptable as long as your goal is not to get them back by making them repent and allowing them to continue their vicious cycle.
The best way to make them regret is to have a happy and fulfilling life yourself.
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Author Bio: Researched and reviewed by Dr. Sandip Roy, an experienced medical doctor and psychology writer focusing on mental well-being, happiness, positive psychology, and Stoic philosophy. His expertise and empathetic approach have helped many mental abuse survivors find happiness and well-being in their lives.
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